Do you ever make people feel uncomfortable unintentionally? | INFJ Forum

Do you ever make people feel uncomfortable unintentionally?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by rainrise, Jun 28, 2010.

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  1. rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    people react differently to different people depending on the individual and the encounter

    i often have calming effects on others with or without intending to do so, but i also notice that i can make people feel rather uncomfortable sometimes without intending to...i'm not sure if it's because i can be quite intense in an unassuming manner

    anyone else notice this yourselves?


     
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  2. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Yeah, I feel like I have that effect too sometimes -- occasionally, I feel like people can tell that I'm not really "in" the conversation or the moment or something, and they're not sure how to react. Or, they feel like I'm not really "in" it and don't know why, so they get self-conscious or associate it to something else like boredom...I dunno.
     
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  3. OP
    rainrise

    rainrise Community Member

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    yeah...or the opposite...for instance sometimes i really want to know how someone is doing and am as interested about something they're about to say and this concern of mine can abruptly turn pleasant small talk upside down for the other person who just wanted to be happy-go-lucky in the conversation. usually, i spot this beforehand and play along with the small talk, but sometimes i don't and seemingly commit this so-called social glitch
     
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  4. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    every day.
     
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  5. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    yeah i do. others also make me feel uncomfortable unintentionally sometimes.
     
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  6. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    It depends, some people I might, but for the most part I don't. It used to be quite bad a few years ago with this, but I have improved.
     
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  7. magister343

    magister343 Permanent Fixture

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    Sometimes.


    At first I misread the title as "
    Do you ever make people feel uncomfortably unintentional?" I don't recall ever implying that someone was born only because their parents birth control measures did not work.
     
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  8. Nucky

    Nucky Regular Poster

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    oh yeah, all the time. I hate it.
     
  9. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    Occasionally people I deal with are unnerved by my ability to know what they are thinking, even before they are fully aware of their own thoughts.

    I love the way it leaves some chatterboxes speechless.
     
  10. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    I make people feel uncomfortable intentionally.






    Just kidding. Yeah, I find that sometimes people feel uncomfortable around me, if they don't know that I'm really a nice person. They can be put off by my reserved nature.
     
  11. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    Most people are pretty comfy around me I think. I try to be friendly and affectionate emotionally and keep their needs in mind. If I am having a bad day and I have forgotten to wear my smile, people can be put off, they always think I am angry, jesus people my mouth just rests in a pout and my eyes are intense ok! im not mad im just humming 8 bit nintendo music in my head!:mhula:
     
  12. Gaze

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    Yep.
     
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  13. Roger

    Roger ...

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    Well, we are not perfect, it takes time to adjust with anyone. So, yes.
     
  14. Honey

    Honey Regular Poster

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    For sometime now my intuition has been trying to lock into exactly why I make people uncomfortable. I think you put it in a nutshell there. I have issues with people thinking I am bored and as my job involves a lot of on the job training and evaluation from people who will only know me for a short time then this can be a real problem. I am also "intense" and can seem rather negative as well partially due to essentially holding a mainly detached view of people, things and experiences and being a perfectionist. Then I look different and act different from what most people are used to ...rather like an alien on earth I guess. I have been gradually isolating from people over the past couple of years and I am sure I will end up as recluse in the long run (the woman in my avatar is my "idol"). Other people, even old friends now make me very uncomfortable too.
     
  15. Skathac

    Skathac <font color=#27A601>Community Member</font>

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    I used to more often than not I think. I've gotten a better grip on my gaze and tone of voice as I've matured, enough thoughtfulness in what I am conveying and I can make just about anyone comfortable now I think. Alternately I reckon I can make someone very uncomfortable if need be, and sometimes I do just that if I'm in a situation where they will not leave me alone.
     
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  16. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    Definitely, and yes people have told me that I present a calming presence.....once they get to know me. A few aquanitances of mine have told me that when they first locked eyes with me, they felt like I was reading their mind because I have such an intense stare. I don't mean for them to feel uncomfortable by it, but I understand why they feel that way.... I just can't help it, yah know, like it's an instict.
     
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  17. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I do it more intentionally than I do it unintentionally.
     
  18. meander

    meander Newbie

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    Yeah people feel uncomfy around me, because of my lack of body language, lack of eye contact, lack of words even. I am not lazy, I am just introvert and "socially inept". When I look at someone, they are perplexed, maybe I am staring... most of the time I am not looking, my eyes are wandering, while I am listening and even more so when I am talking (helps me to find the words). Makes most people angry, they assume I am not interested. Most ppl just want signals 24/7 that their are being respected and appreciated. A smile, maybe a hug and a hello in the beginning of the conversation won't suffice. And I rarely begin a conversation, so if the other one is not talking, there is silence and they are becoming uncomfortable because they think I am boring or bored.
     
  19. Jonathan

    Jonathan Community Member

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    I get the same thing. People think I'm bored or sad because I'm not animated all the time. They want me to react to everything, when I just don't feel like reacting. People usually ask me if I'm still listening or if I'm following them; or they tell me to enjoy myself (even if I already am). When people really know me well, they usually feel really comfortable. A lot of people have told me things they aren't comfortable telling others because they appreciate my ability to listen and understand them, but also how seriously I take them. On the other hand, some people think I take everything too seriously.
     
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  20. kita

    kita <font color=#990066>Regular Poster</font>

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    I don't know for sure...but probably since I tend to fall into awkward silences with anyone I don't know very well.

    If they have any idea how uncomfortable I'm feeling, I guess knowing that could make them uncomfortable too.
     
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