I think there is some universal force that animates the complex clusters of atoms, and cells that make up the me in this dimension gives some sort of shape to exist in this form... but when that force withdraws and this physical body dies, I believe the essense that was my curiosity and drive to "know" and "exist" will continue on through the cracks and holes of the 3rd dimension into the 5th, 6th, 7th, wherever, but all that is me, the worries the complexes Ive developed to retain "sanity" sanity of course being defined as aware of my environment will just go back into the earth from which it came and that universal force will beam elsewhere.
All of us, it seems are just blips in the darkness of the unending nether that will rush to consume our negative space when we lapse into non existence.
Im trying my godamndest to let go of my concept of self so I can be happy with the chaos that is apparently what confines us all, as an organism we are actually pretty interesting and logically built. Whatever is animating us as a group is also animating me, obviously I guess when that is taken away I will be the mind of some greater being shifting away and what I am here and now wont really matter anymore.
I was talking to sandy earlier and I did ask her, what if we are children, all children... when we raise children we ultimatly raise them into a bundle of lies and misconceptions, to shield thier innocence... what if we are being kept innocent by something bigger? We were set here on some cosmic date or, eveolved her over a cosmic time frame and we as a species are only taking our 1st steps.
hmm
im trying to remain on topic but I keep veering lol
let me try this again..
No i dont beleive in the judeo christian value known as a soul.
I think when I die thats it lights out, but some portion of my intellect that is really not mine, so much as a magnifying force thats side perk is life, is going to remain.
ok this is hard... shoot lol let me retry in the am.

