Do think you are a difficult person?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
I'm bad at compromise. It's difficult for me to know when to hold out and when to give in. I hold out when I should give in which makes people frustrated. In other words, stubborness. On the other hand, I give in when I should hold out which makes me frustrated and tense. It can be difficult to communicate with someone effectively with these traits.
same! so I'm always in doubt
I also am easily hurt or offended. It makes it difficult for people to interact with me because it is hard to predict when I’ll get hurt
^^^very true
I'm really laid back and don't really give a shit about 98% of things that go on around me. I know how to compromise. So when I won't bend on the 2%, people think I'm being difficult. I don't think I'm being difficult, they just aren't being reasonable. :nod:
I can be difficult at times, it's hard for me not to argue about little things/question what someone else immediately takes as truth...I enjoy it for whatever reason (I always want other people to question the truth - Which they don't often agree with). I've also been known to break the occasional inanimate object in an intense (emotional) argument; and when I'm in a negative emotional state I can be very reclusive/cold and irritable. I also seem to have a love/hate relationship with praise which most people don't seem to understand.
As far as in public, work, or school - nope; I'm very quiet/reserved.
As far as in public, work, or school - nope; I'm very quiet/reserved.
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That would depend on which perspective you are asking from. I don't find the things I do or the decisions I make difficult at all. I can make life hard on myself though and have a harsh inner critic.
For the most part, I tend to keep most people out of my sphere of emotional consideration. I think that disinterest and indifference is noticable to most people and doesn't win me automatic brownie points. I follow a "I don't bother you" I think that makes me less difficult than someone who does. I think I come across as demanding and decisive which can be off putting because I will ask people to give an opinion or try and solve an issue when it comes up. I would guess that most people would classify me as difficult. I mean, even here I have received "you scared me" comments (which I find hilarious) and this is online, not in real life. I am however flexible and value harmony and cooperation and am for the most part willing to see other's perspective's and compromise.
I would venture to guess, if I wanted to be difficult, I could be very difficult. I tend to try and keep myself on a balanced keel and not go to extremes.
For the most part, I tend to keep most people out of my sphere of emotional consideration. I think that disinterest and indifference is noticable to most people and doesn't win me automatic brownie points. I follow a "I don't bother you" I think that makes me less difficult than someone who does. I think I come across as demanding and decisive which can be off putting because I will ask people to give an opinion or try and solve an issue when it comes up. I would guess that most people would classify me as difficult. I mean, even here I have received "you scared me" comments (which I find hilarious) and this is online, not in real life. I am however flexible and value harmony and cooperation and am for the most part willing to see other's perspective's and compromise.
I would venture to guess, if I wanted to be difficult, I could be very difficult. I tend to try and keep myself on a balanced keel and not go to extremes.
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This is pretty much how it is with me, I have a few matters that are very important to me and where those things are concerned I'm a hard nosed force to be reckoned with.
That said I don't completely shut down. I'm willing to negotiate and listen to new viewpoints, HOWEVER if 98% time I'm well...whatever...fine...sure...(doesn't matter where we go, what we do, how the office is organized, it's all good, yadda yadda... I suppose the gusto when the other 2% are touched on is unnerving to people. ;D But how can you say...well you know that 98% of stuff we usually talk about...well frankly my dear, I don't give a damn! ...in a polite way.
Yes, I agree with Sensiko and Reverie. I'm pretty laid back for the vast majority of things and events that go on around me as it doesn't involve me and getting involved would only be adding more fuel to the fire. If/when it does begin to involve me, I think I tend to be very unyielding and won't budge on the issue. I can be like an impenetrable rock in those times.
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I think I'm easy to get along too. I'm considerate and humorous and reasonable, mostly just a quirky bag of laughs, and my close friends I mostly have an argument with once a decade. Generally I'm very liked socially and have many acquaintances that say happily greet me instead of pretending to be looking at some extremely fascinating floor tile or hiding behind large vertical objects. My earlier comment is terribly colored by the fact I've been recently getting over some "traumatic" work related experiences, where I was severely criticized and subsequently stuck my head in the bush and didn't come out for a few years. %€#%%t happens...but what I can share is HOW I was criticized:
"Too sensitive"
"Not doing the creating in an interactive group situation"
"Too inflexible when it came to the creative product"
"Too much of a perfectionist"
"Too intense"
"Too serious about things"
My colleagues wanted to the creative process to be people sitting in a room deciding communally about everything and taking a vote and wanted me to be more "happy" about doing repetitive mechanical always the same kill you with boredom are you sleeping already kind of trainig drills. When asked about the meaning behind our work by a journalist one of us (chosen to represent by a communal vote) said "Oh there is none. It's just for fun". That was the nail on the coffin for me. I can see how they'd see me in the end as "difficult" and sarcastic, but I also saw most of them in less flattering terms. And unfair. During my "I'm shutting the curtains, don't bother me" sojourn I accidentally got to reading about personality types more and firstly was exhilarated to find that I'm a of a "type" and how my preferred way of working is valid. It also made me understand how others truly find other ways of working THE way for best results. It IS...for them. But not for me. I just have to be more selective of who I work with from now on and in what capacity. It's much better to find people roles they feel happy in and respect their ways, and I can now also better explain my preference.
"Too sensitive"
"Not doing the creating in an interactive group situation"
"Too inflexible when it came to the creative product"
"Too much of a perfectionist"
"Too intense"
"Too serious about things"
My colleagues wanted to the creative process to be people sitting in a room deciding communally about everything and taking a vote and wanted me to be more "happy" about doing repetitive mechanical always the same kill you with boredom are you sleeping already kind of trainig drills. When asked about the meaning behind our work by a journalist one of us (chosen to represent by a communal vote) said "Oh there is none. It's just for fun". That was the nail on the coffin for me. I can see how they'd see me in the end as "difficult" and sarcastic, but I also saw most of them in less flattering terms. And unfair. During my "I'm shutting the curtains, don't bother me" sojourn I accidentally got to reading about personality types more and firstly was exhilarated to find that I'm a of a "type" and how my preferred way of working is valid. It also made me understand how others truly find other ways of working THE way for best results. It IS...for them. But not for me. I just have to be more selective of who I work with from now on and in what capacity. It's much better to find people roles they feel happy in and respect their ways, and I can now also better explain my preference.
U
Untitled
I think I'm easy to get along too. I'm considerate and humorous and reasonable, mostly just a quirky bag of laughs, and my close friends I mostly have an argument with once a decade. Generally I'm very liked socially and have many acquaintances that atleast seem to happily greet me instead of pretending to be looking at some extremely fascinating floor tile or hiding behind large vertical objects. My earlier comment is terribly colored by the fact I've been recently getting over some "traumatic" work related experiences, where I was severely criticized and subsequently stuck my head in the bush and didn't come out for a few years. Well..%€#%%t happens...but what I can share is HOW I was criticized:
"Too sensitive"
"Not doing the creating in an interactive group situation"
"Too inflexible when it came to the creative product"
"Too much of a perfectionist"
"Too intense"
"Too serious about things"
My colleagues wanted the creative process to be people sitting in a room deciding communally about everything and taking a vote and wanted me to be more "happy" about doing repetitive mechanical always the same kill you with boredom are you sleeping already kind of trainig drills. When asked about the meaning behind our work by a journalist one of us (chosen to represent by a communal vote) said "Oh there is none. It's just for fun". That was the nail on the coffin for me. I can see how they'd see me in the end as "difficult" and sarcastic, but I also saw most of them in less flattering terms. And unfair. During my "I'm shutting the curtains, don't bother me" sojourn I accidentally got to reading about personality types more and firstly was exhilarated to find that I'm a of a "type" and how my preferred way of working is valid. It also made me understand how others truly find other ways of working THE way for best results. It IS...for them. But not for me. Problem is I can come to understand their view (because I'm interested in it and it puzzles me) however I also think the proverbial hell will freeze over before they'd waste an ounce of thought to what mine might be. It's just not their way I suppose. So for my own good I just have to be more selective of who I work with from now on and in what capacity. It's much better to find people roles they feel happy in and respect their ways, and I can now also better explain my preference.
"Too sensitive"
"Not doing the creating in an interactive group situation"
"Too inflexible when it came to the creative product"
"Too much of a perfectionist"
"Too intense"
"Too serious about things"
My colleagues wanted the creative process to be people sitting in a room deciding communally about everything and taking a vote and wanted me to be more "happy" about doing repetitive mechanical always the same kill you with boredom are you sleeping already kind of trainig drills. When asked about the meaning behind our work by a journalist one of us (chosen to represent by a communal vote) said "Oh there is none. It's just for fun". That was the nail on the coffin for me. I can see how they'd see me in the end as "difficult" and sarcastic, but I also saw most of them in less flattering terms. And unfair. During my "I'm shutting the curtains, don't bother me" sojourn I accidentally got to reading about personality types more and firstly was exhilarated to find that I'm a of a "type" and how my preferred way of working is valid. It also made me understand how others truly find other ways of working THE way for best results. It IS...for them. But not for me. Problem is I can come to understand their view (because I'm interested in it and it puzzles me) however I also think the proverbial hell will freeze over before they'd waste an ounce of thought to what mine might be. It's just not their way I suppose. So for my own good I just have to be more selective of who I work with from now on and in what capacity. It's much better to find people roles they feel happy in and respect their ways, and I can now also better explain my preference.
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I'm bad at compromise
I don't know that it's a bad thing to be "stubborn" if that's who you are, even if you want to be less so. I guess it's one thing to find compatible people and to explain yourself, but another thing to have to make people like you.
Might be time to change jobs. I've had similar experiences with hypercritical supervisors. They seem to have a radar out for me.
I think the penchant for being difficult is an internal issue of having an ax to grind or not knowing a graceful way to state your own preferences. I think it really depends how you state your preferences that causes people's reactions to vary. Regardless, I think we should all be willing to state our preferences -- just a healthy psychological trait.