I can be difficult when I don't go along with a group agenda that I'm "supposed to" go along with. My INTP friend -- with an obvious streak of uncooperativeness in himself -- likes to jab at me when I won't go along with some group activity. Usually it's because I don't think it's worth my effort to state my preference and that I don't expect anything to change to accommodate my preference. (This is Fe at work, trying to keep a group's goal intact while not personally participating in the effort itself.)
I am considered "difficult" at times, because people have so many expectations for what I should do and what my obligations are. People see me as someone who usually compromises and goes with the flow while withholding my own ideas. I press the brakes (abruptly when necessary) if I object to a direction of activity or goals or leadership. People are appalled and some begin to use verbal intimidation or pressure... often, they later see why I objected.
I am difficult because I'm an individual human being with an identity, preferences, and opinions - and a great many of these preferences don't make for a lot of group socializing or approval:
1. not speaking when I "should"
2. expressing an opinion that starkly contradicts a dominant person's perspective (usually a difficult thing to pull off for Feelers in group settings, but often rewarding, especially if done confidently, assertively, logically, and calmly)
3. not attending various parties where others might enjoy or feel obligated to attend, etc
4. spending time alone, thus often having less time for family or friends
I am considered "difficult" at times, because people have so many expectations for what I should do and what my obligations are. People see me as someone who usually compromises and goes with the flow while withholding my own ideas. I press the brakes (abruptly when necessary) if I object to a direction of activity or goals or leadership. People are appalled and some begin to use verbal intimidation or pressure... often, they later see why I objected.
I am difficult because I'm an individual human being with an identity, preferences, and opinions - and a great many of these preferences don't make for a lot of group socializing or approval:
1. not speaking when I "should"
2. expressing an opinion that starkly contradicts a dominant person's perspective (usually a difficult thing to pull off for Feelers in group settings, but often rewarding, especially if done confidently, assertively, logically, and calmly)
3. not attending various parties where others might enjoy or feel obligated to attend, etc
4. spending time alone, thus often having less time for family or friends