Prefer being alone than being with mediocre company..When that happens, I feel more alone than EVER!
This exactly, give me alone time over poor company anytime. I don't see anything wrong with wanting good company.
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Do most INFJs prefer being alone?
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This exactly, give me alone time over poor company anytime. I don't see anything wrong with wanting good company.
Let me ask you guys another question. Let's say you do have good company. Are you "able" to spend time with that company for the majority of your day or do you need an escape? I have a roommate whom I love being around (for the most part), but I have to tell him that I need my "alone time" once in a while. Which is basically like 4+ hrs every day.
Nothing against him, I just need a long time of uninterrupted thinking. He makes fun of me for it, haha. He's an ESTP, so go figure.
Nothing against him, I just need a long time of uninterrupted thinking. He makes fun of me for it, haha. He's an ESTP, so go figure.
Yeah, I can spend the majority of my time with that person. It's as if I do have my alone time when I am around them.
Relating to the OP. I sometimes prefer to be alone. There is something magical about being with myself and listening to my thoughts that arise. It's my time to literally be in my own world...The feelings I have had from simple being alone are almost indescribable. It's when I have most of my epiphanys and realisations so it is a very special time to me. If I didn't have my alone time I'd probably feel really weird and uncontent with my life and myself. Irritations and negative emotions are more likely to arise if I am not alone a lot. So I do try to be alone as much as possible for all these reasons.
I prefer to be alone unless it is a very intimate setting.
And by intimate I do mean sexual.
Every once in awhile I don't mind spending time with
friends but I'd rather be physically alone. People just
really bother me. I am unreasonable. I hate any noise
that others make. You breathe too loudly? I will give
you pointed looks with every exhale or sit rigid completely
ignoring you. If you speak at me I will turn and stare
at you not blinking with a displeased look until you turn
away.
I don't really know why I am so irritable.
And by intimate I do mean sexual.
Every once in awhile I don't mind spending time with
friends but I'd rather be physically alone. People just
really bother me. I am unreasonable. I hate any noise
that others make. You breathe too loudly? I will give
you pointed looks with every exhale or sit rigid completely
ignoring you. If you speak at me I will turn and stare
at you not blinking with a displeased look until you turn
away.
I don't really know why I am so irritable.
I can be this way also. My husband and I were on a walk a while ago and there were children walking behind us dragging along a wagon and it was making the most obnoxious scraping noise on the road and I sped up to get away from them. He said "I can't believe something like that bothers you, they are just playing!" and got all pissy at me about it. I just don't like noise sometimes, period.
I don't like being completely alone. I feel the best when I'm alone in a room but if I know that there is someone else there in the house (or even the same room) as long as they're not talking to me (interrupting me..). I like to socialize with close friends if I'm bored (or anytime), but with random people it's really heavy cause I never know what to talk about and I don't know how to stop them when they start talking about some uninteresting stuff
My point here was "extreme" alone time, and almost always preferring it over random socializing. I see people liking their alone time in general, but I seem to need more than most others? I don't know.
Well, you might be surrounded by extroverts. I understand what you mean though, I have no roommate now so I have unofficially boarded up my room and never leave. I like people but most of them usually have very little to say that is worthwhile and they kinda piss me off.
So, I just don't talk to them
- Nov 12, 2008
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I believe that this is mostly and introvert thing, and is not specefic to type. Further this could be an individual thing for you, and a few others who have posted here.
I think in general most introverted folk like to spend time away from humanity.
I think when you get right down to it. This is the simple answer. INFJs are invertoes so of course we need alone time. And people and stupid problems (noise, small talk, superficial activities) piss us off.
Although I like being alone fairly often, I greatly enjoy the company of people that are close to me. That being said, when there are others around I have found that putting my ear buds in and turning on Pandora or Groove Shark allows me to disconnect from the world around me. This is good for when I need a break from others.
I hate being alone. I fear it too. If i'm alone for too long I get really depressed.
But usually once a week I like to have at least 5-6 hours of pure alone time. It's only once a week tho.
But usually once a week I like to have at least 5-6 hours of pure alone time. It's only once a week tho.
I've always felt very similar, OP. Part of the reason that when I was first typed as INFJ, I really resonated with that.
I used to think I was extroverted but when I really considered the meaning of those words, it made so much sense. Especially the concept of "energy" distribution because I know after a fun social day with my friends (even if we exerted very little physical force), I am pretty exhausted. That fun kind of exhaustion. I love that feeling but it's obviously not realistic all the time. I much prefer to be with my own thoughts, ideas, daydreams and such.
Well, it's more that I can't imagine being ONLY social and hanging out all the time. During my Spring break, I hung out with my best friend almost every day but time was running out for me to have a day all to myself and it was driving me a little nuts, I felt off. (I bet it was the same for her) so I do NEED it, it's not JUST that I like it.
It's also not just about MY thoughts or all about ME. That is something I think a lot of INFJs have to recognize. But on the whole, it's simply not that selfish. Self-introspection can be very important and is a legitimate way to use your time in my opinion. But, definitely in this world, you must think of and deal with others and in that time of deep thought, the more you incorporate others as well, the better.
Introverts always tend to be on the internet a lot, for obvious reasons. Ever since I figured out how to go online, I've been an internet junkie. (Explains very obviously why on MBTI forums the INTP, INFJ, INTJ and INFP people post the most, OVERWHELMINGLY).
As for an extreme preference or need rather than a more slight one, I'd say for me that fluxuates. When I am busy, I tend to want to be alone less because I know I will not get work done (ironically) without a little external stimulation and encouragement, maybe even help with what I need to do.
When things are going good in my life, I tend to be alone more. When things are bad, it can sometimes be dangerous to be inside myself so much. This is a recent development though, in realizing more healthy ways of dealing with depression and pain.
Gladly, I have the right people in my life now (as opposed to when I initially had depression) that I know will support me in my thoughts and make an effort to understand me.
It's hard for a lot of introverts I believe to open up, given the frequency they try to solve their problems within themselves.
I used to think I was extroverted but when I really considered the meaning of those words, it made so much sense. Especially the concept of "energy" distribution because I know after a fun social day with my friends (even if we exerted very little physical force), I am pretty exhausted. That fun kind of exhaustion. I love that feeling but it's obviously not realistic all the time. I much prefer to be with my own thoughts, ideas, daydreams and such.
Well, it's more that I can't imagine being ONLY social and hanging out all the time. During my Spring break, I hung out with my best friend almost every day but time was running out for me to have a day all to myself and it was driving me a little nuts, I felt off. (I bet it was the same for her) so I do NEED it, it's not JUST that I like it.
It's also not just about MY thoughts or all about ME. That is something I think a lot of INFJs have to recognize. But on the whole, it's simply not that selfish. Self-introspection can be very important and is a legitimate way to use your time in my opinion. But, definitely in this world, you must think of and deal with others and in that time of deep thought, the more you incorporate others as well, the better.
Introverts always tend to be on the internet a lot, for obvious reasons. Ever since I figured out how to go online, I've been an internet junkie. (Explains very obviously why on MBTI forums the INTP, INFJ, INTJ and INFP people post the most, OVERWHELMINGLY).
As for an extreme preference or need rather than a more slight one, I'd say for me that fluxuates. When I am busy, I tend to want to be alone less because I know I will not get work done (ironically) without a little external stimulation and encouragement, maybe even help with what I need to do.
When things are going good in my life, I tend to be alone more. When things are bad, it can sometimes be dangerous to be inside myself so much. This is a recent development though, in realizing more healthy ways of dealing with depression and pain.
Gladly, I have the right people in my life now (as opposed to when I initially had depression) that I know will support me in my thoughts and make an effort to understand me.
It's hard for a lot of introverts I believe to open up, given the frequency they try to solve their problems within themselves.
I don't think most INFJ's prefer to be alone all the time no, but I do think most INfJ's like to have some time to themselves during the day, and to have their own space in which they can have it.
However if given the choice to go our with a small group of my friends to have dinner or some drinks or whatever, I'm going to choose to go out with them most of the time. I would hardly ever choose to stay home on my own unless I was sleepy or something.
However if given the choice to go our with a small group of my friends to have dinner or some drinks or whatever, I'm going to choose to go out with them most of the time. I would hardly ever choose to stay home on my own unless I was sleepy or something.