Love is an emotion. The decision you make to commit from that emotion is an entirely different principle. But you're right in saying that a felling of physicality is not what love is. My connotation of those three words involves a feeling of physicality, which is why I don't view those three words as an acurate portrayal of such a deep emotion when they are sooutrageously over-used.
Define "being in love" . . .
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
Being in a relationship can be an emotional roller coaster. Wanting something you don't have can be an emotional roller coaster. Conflicting interests can be a... " ". Love, itself? It usually leaves me feeling at peace.
Trust is more accurately the willingness to let go. I would call it attachment, although I would use the word connection, the distinction being that a connection doesn't have the connotation of being tied to something. Letting go is exactly that: you let go of your desire to control, attach yourself to, exercise your will over... and you let the other be free. Love requires freedom. You cannot be forced or force yourself to love.
Joy is another aspect of letting go. It has nothing to do with happiness, which is circumstantial. It isn't a state, either. A constant state of anything is boring. Joy can become the essence of something. It is associated with a sense of fulfillment, peace etc. This essence can result in quite a few states and the nature of the states that it will effect are not likely describable as negative, but joy isn't any of these states. It is the essence that brought them into being. This essence can only be found when one has let go.
Yes, language is arbitrary. Its symbols are arbitrarily associated with concepts, which are carried over from generation to generation with some modifications over time. Sometimes the same symbol elicits a different concept to different people in the same moment. Is this question a linguistic one or does it seek to understand how different people experience a concept that it assumes everyone has, yet which it lacks the means to describe without a simple linguistic symbol?
I will go with the latter. Being in love. Hmm. The expression is used differently as a person ages. At first, it is used to describe infatuation, or a major crush. Later on, a crush can turn into a relationship and the couple may use the term 2 days before they have a violent breakup. Irony. Misuse of language? Arguably. Mostly, I call it naive. The more one seeks to understand love, the more they can try to overcome their naiveness or perhaps they become hurt and believe that it is impossible.
As for the emotions experienced through love, there are too many to name. Love, itself, isn't an emotion. If one ever reaches it, it is likely that they will learn that, to exist, it must become the essence of one's being.
Agapooka
assimilating the relationship with the beloved as a more or less permanent aspect of the self. deep feelings of devotion, connection, rightness, respect, and belonging. even transcendence.
My opinion.
No I am not.
I use to have a crush on my best friend. I felt protective, a longing to be around him a lot, and I deeply understood him (he was me best friend after all). I was always quite positive around him too--and yeah the fluctuation was there.
To me, "being in love" goes mch more deeper than just trust and joy.
Emotions can go on forever, they are descriptive and can be present in various situations. I dont believe there are any that are exclusive to "being in love"
A distinction I would make between "being in love" and just having a crush is that "being in love" involves a lot of serious thinking. Suddenly you become more aware of your current being and that someone else--your future together. You begin to question everything too and become so much more flexible. You feel completely comfortable with that person, and you strive to get to know them more and more. Suddenly you dont even need words to communicate with them, just a look into their eyes.
who knows if I made any sense....
No I am not.
I use to have a crush on my best friend. I felt protective, a longing to be around him a lot, and I deeply understood him (he was me best friend after all). I was always quite positive around him too--and yeah the fluctuation was there.
To me, "being in love" goes mch more deeper than just trust and joy.
Emotions can go on forever, they are descriptive and can be present in various situations. I dont believe there are any that are exclusive to "being in love"
A distinction I would make between "being in love" and just having a crush is that "being in love" involves a lot of serious thinking. Suddenly you become more aware of your current being and that someone else--your future together. You begin to question everything too and become so much more flexible. You feel completely comfortable with that person, and you strive to get to know them more and more. Suddenly you dont even need words to communicate with them, just a look into their eyes.
who knows if I made any sense....
How do you define "being in love" if it's an idea you believe is real?
Being in love is a feeling of utter, deep connection---(true love) is seeing potential flaws, imperfections, but loving even that. In fact, you love so much, that all you want to do is give..and give in a sense that you give to help fill in those flaws for them. Being in love is wanting to share every moment, every beautiful thing you see with that person. It's a feeling that you and the person you are in love with, can do anything, can go through anything, because you have each other. It's a sense of limitlessness to the love you can possibly give.
Do you think your sense of it is the same, somewhat the same, or very different from the stereotypical emotions or feelings associated with it?
As has been mentioned a billion times over, by many people (and is true), love and being in love is confused so much of the time. This is what terrifies me, because I have been born lucky with the consciousness of whether it is love I feel or not. So when someone tells you they love you, you need to trust. My sense of love, is one that some people seem to learn over time, while others (people like INFxs seem to validify). I believe true love, is one where even after you "fall out of love", you cannot help but still be "in love (may be not together but within your own feelings) " because you were in love while loving every single part of that person.
If you could, would you use a different phrase or word to describe the feeling or would you keep it?
I would keep it. It has a lovely resonance. It sounds right. But it's used wrong---and it would take me a long while, to even mention the word love or being "in love" is the ultimate expression of love. Being "in love" is when two parties share a free-flow of feelings that are equally intense, genuine, and true. It's sacred.
Being in love is a feeling of utter, deep connection---(true love) is seeing potential flaws, imperfections, but loving even that. In fact, you love so much, that all you want to do is give..and give in a sense that you give to help fill in those flaws for them. Being in love is wanting to share every moment, every beautiful thing you see with that person. It's a feeling that you and the person you are in love with, can do anything, can go through anything, because you have each other. It's a sense of limitlessness to the love you can possibly give.
Do you think your sense of it is the same, somewhat the same, or very different from the stereotypical emotions or feelings associated with it?
As has been mentioned a billion times over, by many people (and is true), love and being in love is confused so much of the time. This is what terrifies me, because I have been born lucky with the consciousness of whether it is love I feel or not. So when someone tells you they love you, you need to trust. My sense of love, is one that some people seem to learn over time, while others (people like INFxs seem to validify). I believe true love, is one where even after you "fall out of love", you cannot help but still be "in love (may be not together but within your own feelings) " because you were in love while loving every single part of that person.
If you could, would you use a different phrase or word to describe the feeling or would you keep it?
I would keep it. It has a lovely resonance. It sounds right. But it's used wrong---and it would take me a long while, to even mention the word love or being "in love" is the ultimate expression of love. Being "in love" is when two parties share a free-flow of feelings that are equally intense, genuine, and true. It's sacred.
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality's better than a dream"
-Dr. Seuss.
-Dr. Seuss.
being in love...
when you see the one you are in love with your heart beats a little faster, you may feel like smiling, you could have 23 hours of bad but spending 1 hour with that person can make it all better. You feel like there is no one else in the world you want to spend time with. No matter what idiotic thing the one you are in love with says or believes, you will pause and give it thought, and maybe even change the way you felt about that stupid thing in the first place.
Put simply, being in love feels wonderfully warm in your core with a little tight pang of excitement in your chest.
when you see the one you are in love with your heart beats a little faster, you may feel like smiling, you could have 23 hours of bad but spending 1 hour with that person can make it all better. You feel like there is no one else in the world you want to spend time with. No matter what idiotic thing the one you are in love with says or believes, you will pause and give it thought, and maybe even change the way you felt about that stupid thing in the first place.
Put simply, being in love feels wonderfully warm in your core with a little tight pang of excitement in your chest.
Happy Phantom
Well-known member
I have unbounded love for my children. I love my dog.
As for SO love, I've recently been pondering the subject and I thought I once knew, however I am clueless atm.
The only thing that makes sense to me at this time is what my INTP friend wrote to me last night.
"You asked me what real love is, and I think a major part of it is loving the person as they are and not seeing them as a project. We will all age and lose our looks. We will all encounter hardships that disappoint us and others true love accepts and realizes that that is part of life."
As for SO love, I've recently been pondering the subject and I thought I once knew, however I am clueless atm.
The only thing that makes sense to me at this time is what my INTP friend wrote to me last night.
"You asked me what real love is, and I think a major part of it is loving the person as they are and not seeing them as a project. We will all age and lose our looks. We will all encounter hardships that disappoint us and others true love accepts and realizes that that is part of life."
Last edited:
Yes I think that's a very good description. What's hopefully there, after the honey moon phase is over.
Happy Phantom
Well-known member
Agreed, but when is that phase over? Are certain male "types" prone to knowing if they're truly in love?
Are you distinguishing amongst men 'knowing'/ not knowing that they are in love from them having 'superficial' notions of romance/ sex etc? This can apply to females too I would say...or do you think it's harder for men to recognise they are in love?
I mentioned the 'honeymoon phase' because the description you gave sounded much more 'real', compared to the honeymoon phase. It sounds like 'companionate love' rather than 'romantic' love. But still, an experience that is better, I would say; than the familiarity you get from wearing a pair of old comfy worn slippers- if you know what I mean. Companionate but still treasured. I don't know, I haven't experienced this thing but I believe it is the ideal.
Happy Phantom
Well-known member
How silly of me to leave out all of us lovely ladies. What I should have said was, "Are certain types more aware when they are actually in love?"
Haha. Don't really believe in that anymore.
You want to be close to the people you care about, be kind to them, not harmful to them. Pretty simple.