Dating Thinking Types
- Thread starter CoffeeShopDiva
- Start date
Hi! I just joined the forums today. I just wanted to offer some insight into the mind of a INTJ. We choose only a couple of people to really let inside emotionally. If you are not someone that we are dating or in a relationship with, then we will normally come off as cold.
In a relationship, I would consider myself to be very open to being emotional, I am very attentive to my partner and will do anything to make them happy. Now getting to that point with me requires some effort
Not everyone is the same, I have a well developed feeling side. I had to work very hard to develop this side, because I am not naturally in tune with my feelings, or feelings of others.
I think the INTJ and INFJ make a great pair, because we can compliment each other so well.
In a relationship, I would consider myself to be very open to being emotional, I am very attentive to my partner and will do anything to make them happy. Now getting to that point with me requires some effort
Not everyone is the same, I have a well developed feeling side. I had to work very hard to develop this side, because I am not naturally in tune with my feelings, or feelings of others.
I think the INTJ and INFJ make a great pair, because we can compliment each other so well.
Despite the common misconception, not all thinkers are unfeeling or have a low EQ. I've found that in both sexes, the thing that makes the most satisfying relationship is choosing people that are into learning/self development.
Both thinkers and feelers can be notoriously horrible at developing themselves. Feelers that hold on to their symbols and odd outbursts as being "just the way I am" are typically underdeveloped people. Thinkers that hold on to their rigidity and unempathetic attitude as "just the way I am" are also underdeveloped. People like to put themselves in a box...nominalize...when that is extremely unhealthy.
So yes, it is very possible to have a deep emotional connection with a thinker...they just have to develop. Sometimes the connection is there and they just don't want/know how to express it (in Fe lacking types). Sometimes they just think caring will be a hassle, or that they are too busy to care (in Fi lacking types). Both of these obstacles can be overcome with personal development...you just have to find a person willing to develop.
Both thinkers and feelers can be notoriously horrible at developing themselves. Feelers that hold on to their symbols and odd outbursts as being "just the way I am" are typically underdeveloped people. Thinkers that hold on to their rigidity and unempathetic attitude as "just the way I am" are also underdeveloped. People like to put themselves in a box...nominalize...when that is extremely unhealthy.
So yes, it is very possible to have a deep emotional connection with a thinker...they just have to develop. Sometimes the connection is there and they just don't want/know how to express it (in Fe lacking types). Sometimes they just think caring will be a hassle, or that they are too busy to care (in Fi lacking types). Both of these obstacles can be overcome with personal development...you just have to find a person willing to develop.