Corona / Wuhan virus

slant said:
I'm pretty sure it's fine.

I think it's upsetting to me because I can't retreat into my inner world so I feel alone. Abandoned. Not in the forum only but just in general. It's too dangerous and self destructive for me to do that, so I'm here trapped in reality unable to cope.
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Its not always great, sometimes you want to retreat there and never come back. So instead of being trapped in reality unable to cope its trapped in an internal reality unable to deal with the outside.

Being unable to cope with reality is bad regardless if you have a space to retreat to because in the end we all have to deal with reality even if try to compatmentalise it. Only works for so long.
 
slant said:
Thank you for your empathy.

That is definitely what I'm struggling with right now is having empathy for others. Perhaps because I have overextended myself in caring for my inner circle and now have nothing left to give, so I feel annoyed and angry.

And I'm like, mentally, everyone is feeling the same thing. Trying to kindle that empathy. Trying!

Probably my lack of willingness to resort to escapism is my biggest problem. I think people are retreating into video games and movies and I refuse to do that, I just keep cycling through social stuff that's making it worse, but I can't seem to disconnect from the social thing. I don't want to become isolated.

Hmmmmmm.

I'm not trying to rain on y'alls parades. Theres enough crap to deal with!! If I don't like the thread don't read it. Very true!

But what else is going on?

The world is just looping over and over again.
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I'm positive you're too young for recalling what 9/11 was like online.
The feeling here is akin to when the towers were on fire and we just sat and watched, helpless. Wanting to dare to hope, but knowing it might be pointless.
Screaming inside at the news crews who dared to show us the events, but unable to tear eyes from the screen. Wishing the world could slow down to allow escape for those trying...

The same feeling is going on here. Except we had that slowed down time we wished for and it infuriated many of us knowing politicians were (and still are) turning people's lives into games.

Back during 9/11 the online talk all but stopped. My company lost hundreds of employees in tower 1. I lost a good family friend who piloted a plane. Not a single person was talking about it.

We need to talk and discuss what is happening.

Take it slow, but don't entirely turn your back on it. Look for ways to help.
 
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slant said:
You and me are very different kinds of people, I think. I would definitely fit your definition of flakey new age type and I'm proud of it. Not apologetic for who I am at all no matter how I'm labeled
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Not learning emotional endurance means someone else has to shoulder the burden and in times like this it is selfish as the other person is already going through a difficult time but then has handle twice as much while the other person is in lala land as if everything is still normal. I am not apologetic being a truth teller even when it is not well received.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
Can't meditate??? How is the imagination and going within?
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I have been meditating and doing yoga. I can't go too within... That is escapism which is unhealthy for me. I get that you're mocking me but I also happen to dislike you so I'm not offended. Maybe if I respected you it would hurt but you seem like a pretty.... Not a person I like much.
 
slant said:
I'm pretty sure it's fine.

I think it's upsetting to me because I can't retreat into my inner world so I feel alone. Abandoned. Not in the forum only but just in general. It's too dangerous and self destructive for me to do that, so I'm here trapped in reality unable to cope.
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Well, actually, my life-story really involves me retreating to inner world to avoid pain. But most of my pain came with bullying and some bad people, not a virus, so I guess its a different case. I was a quite extraverted child and today I am quite introverted, but I did learn to be just ok while being alone and retreating to my own inner world. I can adapt and make great use of time alone, and it doenst destroy me at all. It was painful in the beginning but I adapted. But one thing is that I still cannot ignore is my 8 or 80 relationship with attachment to reality. Many news make me a lot angry still today.

But about this forum, remember that this is a INFJ forum, and retreating to inner world is something usuall for introverts, at least in Jung sense. Carl Jung predicted that this retreatment to inner world would imply in lacking of empathy and more selfshiness, but that pattern never showed up. Using Big 5 here, there is no correlation between Agreebleness and Extraversion. So, this idea that people are being selfish while retreating to their own world (you didnt directly said that but I do think that is likely that that idea is hitting your head) is just an illusion.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
Not learning emotional endurance means someone else has to shoulder the burden and in times like this it is selfish as the other person is already going through a difficult time but then has handle twice as much while the other person is in lala land as if everything is still normal. I am not apologetic being a truth teller even when it is not well received.
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I think we have different positions on this. I've been consistently offering support to others and giving it and though it does take a toll it is also immensely rewarding.

Humans are social creatures who need a sense of community to survive, and faced with complete physical isolation from other human beings that's going to take a psychological toll on everyone. The only way humans get through crisis is by loving and supporting one another during said crisis.
 
Vendrah said:
Well, actually, my life-story really involves me retreating to inner world to avoid pain. But most of my pain came with bullying and some bad people, not a virus, so I guess its a different case. I was a quite extraverted child and today I am quite introverted, but I did learn to be just ok while being alone and retreating to my own inner world. I can adapt and make great use of time alone, and it doenst destroy me at all. It was painful in the beginning but I adapted. But one thing is that I still cannot ignore is my 8 or 80 relationship with attachment to reality. Many news make me a lot angry still today.

But about this forum, remember that this is a INFJ forum, and retreating to inner world is something usuall for introverts, at least in Jung sense. Carl Jung predicted that this retreatment to inner world would imply in lacking of empathy and more selfshiness, but that pattern never showed up. Using Big 5 here, there is no correlation between Agreebleness and Extraversion. So, this idea that people are being selfish while retreating to their own world (you didnt directly said that but I do think that is likely that that idea is hitting your head) is just an illusion.
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I don't think people are being selfish.

I'm just unable to do it myself so I don't know what to do.

I lived in my inner world for 25 years of my life until last year when I began to come out of it.

I had completely destroyed myself in my escapism. I was over 100 lbs overweight, and am still trying to reverse that damage. I was addicted to video games and movies and basically doing anything but living my life

Now I'm facing a situation where escapism of this sort is almost the only option and I'm realizing if I follow that path I might as well have just committed mental suicide. That's where it lead me before. All it did was immense damage.
 
slant said:
I have been meditating and doing yoga. I can't go too within... That is escapism which is unhealthy for me. I get that you're mocking me but I also happen to dislike you so I'm not offended. Maybe if I respected you it would hurt but you seem like a pretty.... Not a person I like much.
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Refusing to go with in does goes against what many consider essential, as for disliking I dislike people like yourself as they dump their problems on others when things get difficult and the empathy is a joke as it is conditional. Those that advertise only do so make themselves look better than they actually are.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
Refusing to go with in does goes against what many consider essential, as for disliking I dislike people like yourself as they dump their problems on others when things get difficult and the empathy is a joke as it is conditional. Those that advertise only do so make themselves look better than they actually are.
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Fair enough. I'm sorry that you have to endure dealing with people you don't like.
 
slant said:
I think we have different positions on this. I've been consistently offering support to others and giving it and though it does take a toll it is also immensely rewarding.

Humans are social creatures who need a sense of community to survive, and faced with complete physical isolation from other human beings that's going to take a psychological toll on everyone. The only way humans get through crisis is by loving and supporting one another during said crisis.
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Not everyone desires to go through all the emotional and mental gymnastics to be human as it is ever increasingly complicated to the point of being needless like modern banking and finance. Being human the way the socials expect it is a toxic job and entirely different from how it was generations ago when people actually used to care for each other. This is why I dislike extroverts because they make people jump through all these hoops and loops just to be accepted as sociable.
 
slant said:
I don't think people are being selfish.

I'm just unable to do it myself so I don't know what to do.

I lived in my inner world for 25 years of my life until last year when I began to come out of it.

I had completely destroyed myself in my escapism. I was over 100 lbs overweight, and am still trying to reverse that damage. I was addicted to video games and movies and basically doing anything but living my life

Now I'm facing a situation where escapism of this sort is almost the only option and I'm realizing if I follow that path I might as well have just committed mental suicide. That's where it lead me before. All it did was immense damage.
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Im sorry, but I dont find playing videogames, watching movies and having some fun as a bad things at all, I find these good things and these things are healthy to the mind. I dont know about watching movies, but playing videogames, by studies, is healthy to mind stability and help bringing some negativity, like anxiety, down.

Overweight is a problem although and Im terrible at giving advice for that. I am overweight as well, but Im actually losing a little bit of weight on this quarantine because I am eating less (so that means less travels to the supermarket).

High degrees of escapism is unhealthy, but "controlable" escapism and phantasy stuff isnt unhealthy at all.
 
@slant I get what you're saying here. And most of us are dealing with things in our own ways and at our own pace. I was checking out your project thread and you have some amazing ideas, especially the stories you are writing! So keep at it! I appreciate the effort you're putting in to put people at ease or connect in a more positive way by starting those threads, too.
 
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Roses In The Vineyard said:
Not everyone desires to go through all the emotional and mental gymnastics to be human as it is ever increasingly complicated to the point of being needless like modern banking and finance. Being human the way the socials expect it is a toxic job and entirely different from how it was generations ago when people actually used to care for each other. This is why I dislike extroverts because they make people jump through all these hoops and loops just to be accepted as sociable.
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... You're going to die.

Why would you refuse to live life when that's the whole point? I genuinely don't understand. Wouldn't ending it all be easier?

I'm not suggesting you do- it just seems to be a huge logical fallacy over your pain of suffering. I'm not an extrovert, by the way. I'm dangerously introverted to the point of losing touch with reality which is why I'm so insistent on remaining in touch socially. Most of my life I've been extremely introverted and socially isolated and only when I began to join the world again did I realize how harmful it was for me.
 
Roses In The Vineyard said:
Not everyone desires to go through all the emotional and mental gymnastics to be human as it is ever increasingly complicated to the point of being needless like modern banking and finance. Being human the way the socials expect it is a toxic job and entirely different from how it was generations ago when people actually used to care for each other. This is why I dislike extroverts because they make people jump through all these hoops and loops just to be accepted as sociable.
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Yes^ this.
 
Vendrah said:
Im sorry, but I dont find playing videogames, watching movies and having some fun as a bad things at all, I find these good things and these things are healthy to the mind. I dont know about watching movies, but playing videogames, by studies, is healthy to mind stability and help bringing some negativity, like anxiety, down.

Overweight is a problem although and Im terrible at giving advice for that. I am overweight as well, but Im actually losing a little bit of weight on this quarantine because I am eating less (so that means less travels to the supermarket).

High degrees of escapism is unhealthy, but "controlable" escapism and phantasy stuff isnt unhealthy at all.
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I don't think you guys understand what I'm saying.

I'm sure escapism is fine for most people.

I am incapable of playing video games or watching television or doing anything extremely mentally stimulating like that without slipping into addiction to that activity.

I have tried to reintroduce gaming and television back into my life multiple times this past year. Each time, slowly but surely, I realize that these activities are way more rewarding than my real life and I lose all motivation to do anything but the highly stimulating low effort activity.

I don't know why this is the way it is with me, but it is.
 
slant said:
... You're going to die.

Why would you refuse to live life when that's the whole point? I genuinely don't understand. Wouldn't ending it all be easier?

I'm not suggesting you do- it just seems to be a huge logical fallacy over your pain of suffering. I'm not an extrovert, by the way. I'm dangerously introverted to the point of losing touch with reality which is why I'm so insistent on remaining in touch socially. Most of my life I've been extremely introverted and socially isolated and only when I began to join the world again did I realize how harmful it was for me.
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I agree that for those who wish for this type of social connection, not just with a few or one special person close to them, but for more then that is what is healthy for them or you to seek, ofc. But for people who feel forced to socialize in order to be normal' or healthy - then this forced socialization is not healthy or living- for them.

Two different people entirely with different needs
 
acd said:
@slant I get what you're saying here. And most of us are dealing with things in our own ways and at our own pace. We should be patient with ourselves and each other. Especially now. I was checking out your project thread and you have some amazing ideas, especially the stories you are writing! So keep at it! I appreciate the effort you're putting in to put people at ease or connect in a more positive way by starting those threads.
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I agree. I am trying to be more tolerant and understanding of others. I guess it is an underused muscle of mine.
 
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