Compatibility: What does this mean?

[Gaze]

Compatibility . . . it's one of those words we throw around and we idealize but i'm not sure if we can really know what it means unless you experience it in some way.

I was talking with a friend today about that sense of comfort you can feel with a person, which you don't get with most people, and how difficult it is to find that anywhere; that sense of complete peace, where you don't have to try or work at being with them, where nothing is forced, no pretense, it's just natural, you can be playful, etc. We talked about the fact that when you do get a little taste of this kind of compatibility how addictive it can be.

So, my question is, how do you define compatibility?

 

[Norton]

When two people are compatible they don't have to expend much energy to keep their relationship on track and comfortable.

 

[Tremolo]

I consider romantic compatibility to be a multi-part sort of thing. There's mental/emotional compatibility, mutual mental/emotional attraction, mutual physical attraction, and situational compatibility.

The most important element of mental/emotional compatibility is being able to tolerate each other fairly happily for long periods of time.

Attraction is fairly self-explanatory, what's important about it when it comes to compatibility is that it be mutual.

Situational compatibility is, I think, desperately important. This includes things like: living within a reasonable distance to each other; having friends that get along alright; having compatible plans for the future; not having crippling religious differences; both being in a correct mental state to enter a relationship; etc.

And since I'm so picky about such things... Yeah, only ever been in one relationship, and it failed (as I expected it to) because I broke one of my rules. I just didn't expect us to be as compatible as we were...


EDIT: And just for the record, in my opinion a relationship WILL ALWAYS require effort on the part of both parties to stay healthy and improve. Compatibility decides whether or not it's worth it to you to make the effort

 

[TinyBubbles]

When two people are compatible they don't have to expend much energy to keep their relationship on track and comfortable.

hehe i love that you defined it in terms of energy, so intp of you I agree with you, but i'll add that when you're really compatible with someone you trust them enough to have disagreements with them, and can show all aspects of your personality to them.

 

[dark_angel]

that sense of comfort you can feel with a person, which you don't get with most people, and how difficult it is to find that anywhere; that sense of complete peace, where you don't have to try or work at being with them, where nothing is forced, no pretense, it's just natural, you can be playful, etc.

this is how I would describe it as well as bringing out the best in each other.

 

[Gaze]

. . . i'll add that when you're really compatible with someone you trust them enough to have disagreements with them, and can show all aspects of your personality to them.

Agree. It's nice when you don't have to censor yourself for someone or hold back how you feel when you're with them. It's a blessing.

 

[Nixie]

You can stand me at my worst and I can stand you at your worst. It shows an ability to forgive and adapt which to me are key to a good relationship.

 

[yepunsarang]

It means not having to compromise. It means everything feeling so natural, so necessary, balanced, NO drama (yet still really intriguing and attractive). It means that no matter how close you get to a person, your chances of being hurt big time lessen significantly. I see it in this way (especially romantic relationships)---the closer you are to a person spiritually, mentally, physically, the higher your chances of you getting hurt because you expose your tender side to that person you love. They can technically (even by "mistake") jab you a bit...but because you are so proximally close, that jab hurts like heck.

But when you're compatible, it feels like you're with yourself sometimes when you're with them. There is no sense of space between you and that person and that's not suffocating. It's comforting, it means finding peace in someone, a kind of wholesome happy feeling.

 

[Altruistic Muse]

When the little things about yourself that you keep hidden, are to this person the things that make you beautiful.

 

[Questingpoet]

“We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” --anon.

 

[Matariki]

When you can restrain yourself from ripping each other heads off.