Career vs Relationships | INFJ Forum

Career vs Relationships

Discussion in 'Education and Careers' started by TinyBubbles, Jun 12, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by TinyBubbles
  1. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Threads:
    245
    Messages:
    9,346
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2,229
    Trophy Points:
    966
    MBTI:
    ^.^
    Enneagram:
    .
    which is more important to you? of course both are going to be of high importance, but in general which is more a priority on your mind & why?


     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,388
    Messages:
    28,151
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,900
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Career because of money, and even if i had a chance to develop a relationship, i'd still go with career because i don't think a relationship (any person) could fill that need to self actualize. If you'd ask me this question 10 years ago, i would've chosen relationships -i thought they were the be all and end all of life. Now, kids are another story.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #2 Gaze, Jun 12, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  3. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
    Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Threads:
    323
    Messages:
    10,047
    Featured Threads:
    49
    Likes Received:
    5,634
    Trophy Points:
    1,102
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    MBTI:
    INTJ - A
    Enneagram:
    10000
    I see my career in terms of the relationships it involves. So I guess relationships are more important. However, my career relationships are more important to me than personal ones.
     
  4. Roger

    Roger ...

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2009
    Threads:
    80
    Messages:
    2,203
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    205
    MBTI:
    ENFP
    Enneagram:
    -
    Actually i am going with love which means relationships. Once you have all type of relationships, that means you have all type of love. Love is everything. It is reason of living my life. Relationships are wonderful gift of society and also from god for which i am so thankful and grateful.

    Money is just flow and you can regain back this at any moment of your life. Relationships are tough and heart of life. In real life i give high priority to my relationships and then career comes.
     
    894tt3h9 and Gaze like this.
  5. Phage

    Phage Community Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2010
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    560
    Likes Received:
    189
    Trophy Points:
    612
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I am trying to get a good career so that I can have a prosperous relationship... So relationships for me are more important. I don't want the relationship to crumble over money. =/
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,388
    Messages:
    28,151
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,900
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    What a difference three months makes. I'd choose relationships over career today. My career has become simply something to pay the bills, and does not contain the personal fulfillment I believed it did when I first entered it. I'd rather spend time having and caring for a family. I think I'd be much more calmer and fulfilled, as long as I had the chance to work on projects if I choose.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #6 Gaze, Sep 8, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2010
    Soulful likes this.
  7. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    146
    Trophy Points:
    43
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    5 sx
    couldn't agree more, my opinion has also changed from career to relationship in about that amount of time. so who knows if it will change again, but for right now direction just isn't as important as it once was for me. not even necessarily relationships in terms of boy meets girl, but relationships with friends, family and the outside world in general feel more fulfilling because i'm allowing them to.
     
  8. invisible

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    225
    Messages:
    9,023
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    9,933
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Avalon Archipelago
    MBTI:
    none
    you can find personal meaning and continue your quest for self Anita. that is the quest. this might not be the right work for you. you can change careers if you want to. being part of a family is great, but you don't need someone else to provide meaning for you. you're cool, you can do it.
     
  9. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,388
    Messages:
    28,151
    Featured Threads:
    99
    Likes Received:
    21,900
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    thx. But i'm not searching for self any longer @invisible. It doesn't matter whether my job is right for me. I'm just at the point where I don't need a career to feel fulfilled anymore. And nothing is wrong with finding meaning in raising a family. Each person has to determine what is valuable and meaningful for themselves. For some it's a career, for others it's friends and relationships, for others it's children. We are all unique in that sense.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #9 Gaze, Sep 8, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2010
  10. invisible

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    225
    Messages:
    9,023
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    9,933
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Avalon Archipelago
    MBTI:
    none
  11. invisible

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    225
    Messages:
    9,023
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    9,933
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Avalon Archipelago
    MBTI:
    none
    i just don't understand, and am interested, why can't someone search for and find themselves, and have a strong sense of independent self, and raise a good family also? why should it be a disadvantage, to bring a secure sense of independent identity and self to a relationship, and to the bringing up of children? is it completely fair to our partner or child, to give them the responsibility of being our sole source of meaning and identity in life?
     
    acd and Bird like this.
  12. Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I completely agree! I couldn't give a damn about careers, I'm not and have never been career oriented unlike the majority of people. So long as I can pay the bills of course. Love is everything to me, my child is the greatest gift, there is NOTHING more important to me on this earth than my children and my husband. Does anyone on their deathbed really wish they'd spent more time working?
     
    Blind Bandit and Gaze like this.
  13. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    1,339
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    177
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    IEI
    Enneagram:
    6w5 sp/sx
    Perhaps this is why I can't find a satisfying career, even in theory.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2009
    Threads:
    57
    Messages:
    1,913
    Likes Received:
    234
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    i'm trying to get my career stuff sorted out now so that whenever i meet this amazing woman - i know she's going to be amazing - my career will be part of the package.

    meeting someone and then having a change of heart with your career? that's a tough sell.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. kita

    kita <font color=#990066>Regular Poster</font>

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2010
    Threads:
    17
    Messages:
    511
    Likes Received:
    87
    Trophy Points:
    587
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    There is a part of me that will feel I haven't lived up to my full potential if I don't have a "successful" career..that being said I'd gladly be a stay at home mom if I could.

    When I think about my career, its really more of a vehicle to get me to where I want to be with my family. I'm currently torn between going in a direction that would let me spent more time at home after I have kids, or another direction that will hopefully enable me to pay for their college.
     
  16. The Jester

    Generally, I'd say my career, because if all goes well:

    - I'll be able to help people without bonding.
    - I'll have a secure job, which could support me and increase my luxury (I'm talking about being able to experience more).
    - I can make shallow friendships with collegues, people who I can forget about when I get home.

    While on the other hand, relationships:

    - You need to emotionally invest in.
    - You can get hurt.
    - I hate the thought of needing someone to be 'complete'.


    BUT, then there's that special person which makes your belly fill with tickles when you think about her.
    In that situation, I'd let my heart overpower my mind, because she'd give you love and affection.

    Alas, my inconsistent self me and I are doomed!

    [​IMG]

    For those who have not seen fight club, I'm implying that I'm a shiz.
     
  17. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Threads:
    95
    Messages:
    4,821
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,255
    Trophy Points:
    381
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    CT
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    ....
    Relationships, my career only exists to provide me with a means to live, living = building relationships.
     
  18. Number B

    Number B Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2010
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    Reformer
    :m177: I agree with Billy over here. A good relationship is priceless, family above all else.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. 894tt3h9

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Threads:
    62
    Messages:
    6,560
    Likes Received:
    1,910
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    Beep Boop
    Enneagram:
    Beep Boop
    Hmm. I would choose relationships. I am not career ambitious really. Well, I am, but I feel like I can balance the two should I choose to further my career where I am at. For my age and my education I actually have a decent job that pays a livable wage (I am just not wise with spending...sigh!)

    I had the opportunity to have a relationship with a man who was a very close friend of mine for years. Apparently he had wanted me the whole time, but by the time we both were at the same place in terms of being together, he was at a point where he was just out of university and starting a new career and he wanted to focus on that. His thing was that he wanted to provide for his wife and his children so that they could have everything they needed and more. I admire him for wanting to build that life for himself. But in the process he lost the chance to be with me after having waited for so long.

    Sometimes career is extremely important because having independence and financial stability can be a make or break situation. But to me going without love... I don't know. It doesn't make sense. But the chips will always fall as they may.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
  20. invisible

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    225
    Messages:
    9,023
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    9,933
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Avalon Archipelago
    MBTI:
    none
    i would never choose either and i don't see why i should have to choose one over the other. on the one hand, my relationships with my loved ones are very important to me. i care for them deeply. but on the other hand, they're separate people from me, with separate identities and needs for their own independent selves, and i couldn't stand the thought of living entirely for them. i think that is the definition of poor boundaries. even if i was a stay at home parent, what would i do with all those hours when my child went to school, and started to develop their own identity, and needed to be separate from me so they could make and be responsible for their own decisions, and learn to function independently and capably in the world? would i be anxious, agonising over their nutrition, calling up their teachers and demanding interviews, scrutinising the minute distinctions of their development? it's not as if i wouldn't be there for them in a flash if something went wrong, but that should hardly be every hour of every day. teenagers simply do not need twenty-four hour love and attention. what about when they left home, and my partner was still working? what would i do with the remaining decades of my life? spend a week here scrubbing the bathroom grouting with a wire toothbrush, and a week there obsessively eliminating clover from the lawn? grow flawless roses or sew quilt after quilt? bake gorgeous cakes that nobody would eat? i'd rather do these things with my retirement.

    in addition to my loved ones, and contributing to their welfare if i can, i want to have a part in the way society works. i want to realise all of my potentials and use them to their fullest. i want to have a role in the bigger decisions of humanity and contribute to society through my own work and my unique skills. i want to read lots of books and learn things so i can think. i want to write, or be a journalist. vacuuming the carpets three times a week would not be enough for me.

    it's ok for me to need a self. it doesn't mean i'm neglecting my loved ones.
     
Loading...

Share This Page