Career vs Relationships | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Career vs Relationships

Definitely definitely relationships. I have never had particular ambition with regards to a career. However, if I ever to manage to make a big change, and get a job involving caring for people, such as nursing, teaching or similar, I may be more fulfilled and more likely to put effort into the career. Then who knows. But, I suppose this is a result of being able to use my job to cultivate relationships.....
 
At this point in my life I'm trying to not even think about relationships. If I happen to fall into one, awesome, but from what I know about myself I just might not be relationship material. I'm working at advancing my teaching career. I should be less than two years away from my certification, but I've wasted a lot of credit hours so it's sitting about 2.5 years out right now. I'm seriously considering joining the Peace Corps and going to teach oversees for a couple years so I can come back with some experiences to share in the classroom.

I plan on making my career the central part of my life. I don't want to be a teacher, I want to live to teach. For me, ultimately, my job won't be a "job" but a lifestyle. I am intensely passionate about things, and to have a career that just provides for the rest of my every-day life stuff would feel empty to me. This world is messed up and it scares the shit out of me.

I'm young, I'm naive, and I'm angry. I want to apply this to my life, to make a change. I need my idealism to be the central part of my life, so I basically need my job to feel fulfilling and not like a ways of time. If a romantic relationship meshes with that, then that's peachy.
 
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In general, I'd say relationships. Eventually, I'd like to meet a decent guy with whom I connect and share same of the future, and hopefully form a family of our own. That's on a personal level; on a more general level, every decision I have made so far seems to be geared towards forming some sort of relationships with others, even my career choices. I seek opportunities to work with people rather than alone, I enjoy group or team or group work, because I get to meet new people. Right now, my volunteer work has to do with people in a way too.

Currently, I'd say career. For me to be able to sustain a family, and provide for my loved ones and achieve what I mentioned above, I need a financially secure job. So at the moment, career and education comes first.
 
i would never choose either and i don't see why i should have to choose one over the other. on the one hand, my relationships with my loved ones are very important to me. i care for them deeply. but on the other hand, they're separate people from me, with separate identities and needs for their own independent selves, and i couldn't stand the thought of living entirely for them. i think that is the definition of poor boundaries. even if i was a stay at home parent, what would i do with all those hours when my child went to school, and started to develop their own identity, and needed to be separate from me so they could make and be responsible for their own decisions, and learn to function independently and capably in the world? would i be anxious, agonising over their nutrition, calling up their teachers and demanding interviews, scrutinising the minute distinctions of their development? it's not as if i wouldn't be there for them in a flash if something went wrong, but that should hardly be every hour of every day. teenagers simply do not need twenty-four hour love and attention. what about when they left home, and my partner was still working? what would i do with the remaining decades of my life? spend a week here scrubbing the bathroom grouting with a wire toothbrush, and a week there obsessively eliminating clover from the lawn? grow flawless roses or sew quilt after quilt? bake gorgeous cakes that nobody would eat? i'd rather do these things with my retirement.

in addition to my loved ones, and contributing to their welfare if i can, i want to have a part in the way society works. i want to realise all of my potentials and use them to their fullest. i want to have a role in the bigger decisions of humanity and contribute to society through my own work and my unique skills. i want to read lots of books and learn things so i can think. i want to write, or be a journalist. vacuuming the carpets three times a week would not be enough for me.

it's ok for me to need a self. it doesn't mean i'm neglecting my loved ones.
You are reminding me of this awesome girl I met today. She was telling me she hit a turning point in her life when she had this thought: I don't have to live for my children, I live with them.. Meaning she was entitled to her own identity and she decided to go back to school instead of just being a stay at home mom. Yes. You can do both, and I told her: "I think you are setting an excellent example for your kids."

I agree with everything you've said so far, invisible.. Your post is making my heart burst with pride for some reason. Hehe..

I also would never choose to live my life based on chosing one or the other..
A life should be lived fully.
 
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