Career vs Relationships

TinyBubbles

TinyBubbles

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which is more important to you? of course both are going to be of high importance, but in general which is more a priority on your mind & why?
 
Career because of money, and even if i had a chance to develop a relationship, i'd still go with career because i don't think a relationship (any person) could fill that need to self actualize. If you'd ask me this question 10 years ago, i would've chosen relationships -i thought they were the be all and end all of life. Now, kids are another story.
 
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I see my career in terms of the relationships it involves. So I guess relationships are more important. However, my career relationships are more important to me than personal ones.
 
Actually i am going with love which means relationships. Once you have all type of relationships, that means you have all type of love. Love is everything. It is reason of living my life. Relationships are wonderful gift of society and also from god for which i am so thankful and grateful.

Money is just flow and you can regain back this at any moment of your life. Relationships are tough and heart of life. In real life i give high priority to my relationships and then career comes.
 
I am trying to get a good career so that I can have a prosperous relationship... So relationships for me are more important. I don't want the relationship to crumble over money. =/
 
Anita said:
Career because of money, and even if i had a chance to develop a relationship, i'd still go with career because i don't think a relationship (any person) could fill that need to self actualize. If you'd ask me this question 10 years ago, i would've chosen relationships -i thought they were the be all and end all of life. Now, kids are another story.
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What a difference three months makes. I'd choose relationships over career today. My career has become simply something to pay the bills, and does not contain the personal fulfillment I believed it did when I first entered it. I'd rather spend time having and caring for a family. I think I'd be much more calmer and fulfilled, as long as I had the chance to work on projects if I choose.
 
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What a difference three months makes
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couldn't agree more, my opinion has also changed from career to relationship in about that amount of time. so who knows if it will change again, but for right now direction just isn't as important as it once was for me. not even necessarily relationships in terms of boy meets girl, but relationships with friends, family and the outside world in general feel more fulfilling because i'm allowing them to.
 
you can find personal meaning and continue your quest for self Anita. that is the quest. this might not be the right work for you. you can change careers if you want to. being part of a family is great, but you don't need someone else to provide meaning for you. you're cool, you can do it.
 
invisible said:
you can find personal meaning and continue your quest for self Anita. that is the quest. this might not be the right work for you. you can change careers if you want to. being part of a family is great, but you don't need someone else to provide meaning for you. you're cool, you can do it.
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thx. But i'm not searching for self any longer @invisible. It doesn't matter whether my job is right for me. I'm just at the point where I don't need a career to feel fulfilled anymore. And nothing is wrong with finding meaning in raising a family. Each person has to determine what is valuable and meaningful for themselves. For some it's a career, for others it's friends and relationships, for others it's children. We are all unique in that sense.
 
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i just don't understand, and am interested, why can't someone search for and find themselves, and have a strong sense of independent self, and raise a good family also? why should it be a disadvantage, to bring a secure sense of independent identity and self to a relationship, and to the bringing up of children? is it completely fair to our partner or child, to give them the responsibility of being our sole source of meaning and identity in life?
 
Roger said:
Actually i am going with love which means relationships. Once you have all type of relationships, that means you have all type of love. Love is everything. It is reason of living my life. Relationships are wonderful gift of society and also from god for which i am so thankful and grateful.

Money is just flow and you can regain back this at any moment of your life. Relationships are tough and heart of life. In real life i give high priority to my relationships and then career comes.
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I completely agree! I couldn't give a damn about careers, I'm not and have never been career oriented unlike the majority of people. So long as I can pay the bills of course. Love is everything to me, my child is the greatest gift, there is NOTHING more important to me on this earth than my children and my husband. Does anyone on their deathbed really wish they'd spent more time working?
 
Ethereal said:
I completely agree! I couldn't give a damn about careers, I'm not and have never been career oriented unlike the majority of people. So long as I can pay the bills of course. Love is everything to me, my child is the greatest gift, there is NOTHING more important to me on this earth than my children and my husband. Does anyone on their deathbed really wish they'd spent more time working?
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Perhaps this is why I can't find a satisfying career, even in theory.
 
i'm trying to get my career stuff sorted out now so that whenever i meet this amazing woman - i know she's going to be amazing - my career will be part of the package.

meeting someone and then having a change of heart with your career? that's a tough sell.
 
There is a part of me that will feel I haven't lived up to my full potential if I don't have a "successful" career..that being said I'd gladly be a stay at home mom if I could.

When I think about my career, its really more of a vehicle to get me to where I want to be with my family. I'm currently torn between going in a direction that would let me spent more time at home after I have kids, or another direction that will hopefully enable me to pay for their college.
 
April said:
which is more important to you? of course both are going to be of high importance, but in general which is more a priority on your mind & why?
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Generally, I'd say my career, because if all goes well:

- I'll be able to help people without bonding.
- I'll have a secure job, which could support me and increase my luxury (I'm talking about being able to experience more).
- I can make shallow friendships with collegues, people who I can forget about when I get home.

While on the other hand, relationships:

- You need to emotionally invest in.
- You can get hurt.
- I hate the thought of needing someone to be 'complete'.


BUT, then there's that special person which makes your belly fill with tickles when you think about her.
In that situation, I'd let my heart overpower my mind, because she'd give you love and affection.

Alas, my inconsistent self me and I are doomed!

FightClub.gif


For those who have not seen fight club, I'm implying that I'm a shiz.
 
Relationships, my career only exists to provide me with a means to live, living = building relationships.
 
Billy said:
Relationships, my career only exists to provide me with a means to live, living = building relationships.
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:m177: I agree with Billy over here. A good relationship is priceless, family above all else.
 
Hmm. I would choose relationships. I am not career ambitious really. Well, I am, but I feel like I can balance the two should I choose to further my career where I am at. For my age and my education I actually have a decent job that pays a livable wage (I am just not wise with spending...sigh!)

I had the opportunity to have a relationship with a man who was a very close friend of mine for years. Apparently he had wanted me the whole time, but by the time we both were at the same place in terms of being together, he was at a point where he was just out of university and starting a new career and he wanted to focus on that. His thing was that he wanted to provide for his wife and his children so that they could have everything they needed and more. I admire him for wanting to build that life for himself. But in the process he lost the chance to be with me after having waited for so long.

Sometimes career is extremely important because having independence and financial stability can be a make or break situation. But to me going without love... I don't know. It doesn't make sense. But the chips will always fall as they may.
 
i would never choose either and i don't see why i should have to choose one over the other. on the one hand, my relationships with my loved ones are very important to me. i care for them deeply. but on the other hand, they're separate people from me, with separate identities and needs for their own independent selves, and i couldn't stand the thought of living entirely for them. i think that is the definition of poor boundaries. even if i was a stay at home parent, what would i do with all those hours when my child went to school, and started to develop their own identity, and needed to be separate from me so they could make and be responsible for their own decisions, and learn to function independently and capably in the world? would i be anxious, agonising over their nutrition, calling up their teachers and demanding interviews, scrutinising the minute distinctions of their development? it's not as if i wouldn't be there for them in a flash if something went wrong, but that should hardly be every hour of every day. teenagers simply do not need twenty-four hour love and attention. what about when they left home, and my partner was still working? what would i do with the remaining decades of my life? spend a week here scrubbing the bathroom grouting with a wire toothbrush, and a week there obsessively eliminating clover from the lawn? grow flawless roses or sew quilt after quilt? bake gorgeous cakes that nobody would eat? i'd rather do these things with my retirement.

in addition to my loved ones, and contributing to their welfare if i can, i want to have a part in the way society works. i want to realise all of my potentials and use them to their fullest. i want to have a role in the bigger decisions of humanity and contribute to society through my own work and my unique skills. i want to read lots of books and learn things so i can think. i want to write, or be a journalist. vacuuming the carpets three times a week would not be enough for me.

it's ok for me to need a self. it doesn't mean i'm neglecting my loved ones.
 
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