Can an INFJ be a bossy dictator?

Flamethrower

Flamethrower

Regular Poster
MBTI
INTJ
Might sound like a funny question but I was wondering, what are you guys like at directing people to do things? (Particularly a project that is your own vision.) Are you nice and diplomatic with people and like to keep the peace or is it possible for an INFJ to direct by being bossy and taking over?
 
It depends upon the type of group. I see two types of groups. Natural groups are those which just come together such as a group of friends and Formed groups are those which are pulled together by some purpose, such as a group project for a class.

When it comes to natural group leadership positions, I'll only step in if nobody else does. I find I'm usually a very laissez-faire kind of leader and very little gets done when I'm in charge. I'm just not very comfortable directing people on what to do when it comes to natural groups. I'll do my best to meet the needs of everyone in a natural group and I'll be quick to yeild leadership to someone else if they want it. I'm very people focused when it comes to natural groups.

However, give me just a little bit of authority and that all changes. I see authority as responsibility and I have a tendency to feel very uncomfortable when I'm not in charge of a formed group. I'll create deadlines, keep everyone in the loop, and sometimes even become overly involved. I have no problem directing people when I'm in a position of authority and my focus is on the task and getting things done and done well. If other people don't pull their weight, then I'll do it for them and then I'll bitch them out about it.

I think authority really transforms an INFJ into an entirely different person. When I'm in a position of authority then I'll do as much work as I can, but when I'm not, then I'll look for ways to minimize my share of the work and sometimes just put things off.
 
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Three words...

whips...

chains...

tasers...




...and a bit o' black leather.


[...joking :D]
 
Satya said:
It depends upon the type of group. I see two types of groups. Natural groups are those which just come together such as a group of friends and Formed groups are those which are pulled together by some purpose, such as a group project for a class.

When it comes to natural group leadership positions, I'll only step in if nobody else does. I find I'm usually a very laissez-faire kind of leader and very little gets done when I'm in charge. I'm just not very comfortable directing people on what to do when it comes to natural groups. I'll do my best to meet the needs of everyone in a natural group and I'll be quick to yeild leadership to someone else if they want it. I'm very people focused when it comes to natural groups.

However, give me just a little bit of authority and that all changes. I see authority as responsibility and I have a tendency to feel very uncomfortable when I'm not in charge of a formed group. I'll create deadlines, keep everyone in the loop, and sometimes even become overly involved. I have no problem directing people when I'm in a position of authority and my focus is on the task and getting things done and done well. If other people don't pull their weight, then I'll do it for them and then I'll bitch them out about it.

I think authority really transforms an INFJ into an entirely different person. When I'm in a position of authority then I'll do as much work as I can, but when I'm not, then I'll look for ways to minimize my share of the work and sometimes just put things off.
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Hmm really interesting answer. I think I am similar but in the opposite direction concerning the groups. In groups that form naturally where I am also leader (e.g. bands that I put together but where the members were also my friends or the running of my business where the people I deal with tend to be clients or subcontractors that are also people I would have known anyway) I tend to be reasonably bossy and a bit of a dictator. Basically that just means I am really decisive and tend to be quite assertive with my ideas. I guess the key thing here is that these groups revolve around a vision of mine own and I have given myself authority. Also probably if those guys are more like friends I probably expect them to ignore extraneous political rubbish and just get on with the job.

However, in the formed groups I have been in they have always been put together by someone else and if I have been involved in any leadership role (assigned by someone else) then I have been very diplomatic and wanted to keep harmony between people by being aware of people's strengths and weaknesses and being mindful of how to treat people fairly and get them to use their talents, making sure they are happy etc...

Interesting huh?

I am just wondering how different INTJs and INFJs are when it comes to directing.
 
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I have much experience in groups where I am a leader and where I am not. If I am a worker within a group I do my job and I do it well with sometimes too much attention to detail.

I however love being in charge and I often find I am promoted from worker to leader because I do things well. I am very nice about being a leader and I am clear about what I expect.

I think the trick is to be firm with those expectations and also taking into consideration how important the job is. The less important it is I might just let things happen as long as it is done pitching in as needed. If it is important and safety is an issue I am very firm and no room for error is allowed. I have gotten colorful nic-names from these situations.

What is funny is I am seen as a sweet quiet person until I am in charge.
 
Heh.

Yeeeah, what Dutch Cake and Satya said...I've been called bossy before, actually. When I'm actually in charge of a group of people and the sole person in charge, I become miss bossy boots. Never unkindly, but I want things done when they need to be done...and I don't like missed deadlines because they reflect badly on the team and all of us. I kind of like being the sole person in charge though, over being part of a team. I don't like co-leading because I don't feel as if I have the authority to direct the team as well as I'd like.

On the other hand, I have to feel extremely confident in my area to lead. I hate to be second guessed. Not because I feel I'm right, but because I wonder if I'm wrong and I can hamstring the group.
 
Yes, but I always leave a way out.
 
I often find that in project groups, I'm never the leader, but the facilitator. Usually, someone with a little more charisma or experience takes that role. In such cases, I tend to be more of the second-in-command, who has to rally the troops, make sure the lines of communication are always open, and see to it that we move from Point A to Point B as a whole.

Personally, I like to think of myself as more of a guide than a leader. I don't tell people what to do; I simply point the direction they should follow, and leave it up to them.
 
I formed a club when I was 12 years old, and we had our own logo, newsletter, businesses, territory and other things. It was kind of like a crime mob but without the crime. I was the leader and there were times when I was rather iron fisted.
 
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Flavus Aquila said:
Hitler was INFJ

settled

next question
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Hitler was not an INFJ, but Napoleon was and Obama is as well. True INFJ's are Leos and have Enneagram Type 4w3.
INFJ's have the directing style of communication and are stubborn when they think they are right or someone criticizes their views. The answer to your question is yes. They can be bossy and domineering.
 
bryanryan said:
Hitler was not an INFJ, but Napoleon was and Obama is as well. True INFJ's are Leos and have Enneagram Type 4w3.
INFJ's have the directing style of communication and are stubborn when they think they are right or someone criticizes their views. The answer to your question is yes. They can be bossy and domineering.
Click to expand...

I have been convinced that Hitler might have been but I still have doubts.

I do NOT belive though that napoleon or obama are INFJ's either.
 
It depends on the situation and what needs to be accomplished. If we believe it is important, we can be dictators to get the job done. It depends on the person's motivations and goals whether they will do this or not.
 
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