Biggest myths about love or relationships . . . | INFJ Forum

Biggest myths about love or relationships . . .

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Oct 18, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

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    There are many threads on relationships floating around, but a question I've always wanted to ask is:

    What are some of the biggest myths or misconceptions you or anyone else you know may have about love and/or relationships?
     
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  2. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    that love exists.

    and that relationships are a whole ton of fun. cause they're seriously not.
     
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  3. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    That love doesn't exist.

    That relationships are not a whole lot of fun, because they seriously are.
     
  4. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    That love is simply an emotion.

    Nope!
     
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  5. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Love is a connection
     
  6. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    That sex has nothing to do with love.
     
  7. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    That a person could define love for others.
     
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  8. ]L%;Zwnj

    ]L%;Zwnj Regular Poster

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    That you can quickly forget about/move on from somebody you loved by simply thinking your way out of it.
     
  9. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    About Love:

    That it's not worth fighting for. It's not worth getting hurt for. That it's not worth putting it all on the line for.

    Love comes to those who still hope even though they
     
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  10. efromm

    efromm Hiding In My Shell...
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    Love conquers all.. Well maybe in Disney movies but not in my experience. You can't afford love...
     
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  11. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    I've had it in my hand, and let it slip from my grasp. It's worth all the pain and confusion. I'm 44 and I'm not jaded yet. I'll keep fighting the good fight. I can't afford not to......
     
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  12. testing

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    Well, of course it does exist.

    I've always wondered about the statement "Marriage is a lot of work." because I don't think it is. Granted, there are times when the fun supply runs a bit low, but work? No way. That is the biggest myth about love in my opinion.

    People are just so... hosed up about these things because they call things love that are nothing of the sort...
     
  13. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    I agree. It always seems ridiculous to me when someone makes a universal declaration about what love is/isn't. I also think it is difficult to even know for certain what love is for yourself if you have no experience with it.

    Pretty much everything I was taught about love didn't really fit with what I discovered in reality, but I'm not sure how to put that difference into words.
     
  14. OP
    Gaze

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    Yes, this is true. I'm a little annoyed at the saying, "Oh, you'll just know." It's quite misleading. As if there is a light switch which will come on inside your head, and suddenly all will be revealed. Love is too complicated for such a simplistic explanation.

    Another myth: Love is a feeling, as if feelings are always right and should be trusted implicitly. Feelings are quite misleading. It's the equivalent of seeing blue, but convincing yourself that what you're feeling is red, because you like red and you're enamored with red. Doesn't matter that red is not blue. As long as you can make yourself see red instead of blue, you think you're "feeling" love.

    (I know, overdone analogy)
     
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    #14 Gaze, Oct 18, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2009
  15. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    Well yeah because marriage is a religious institution and the people whom believe in an imaginary deity can make anything seem like less work because of there delusional ideas.
     
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  16. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    *who
    *their

    No, it's generally the religious ones that MAKE it appear to be a lot of work.
    Marriage, if between two compatible partners isn't work at all, it's just a joining of people. However people "Get Married" that aren't compatible, and they're therefore struggling to make it work.
     
  17. Naxx

    Naxx Permanent Fixture

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    I've always preferred love to be about mutual growth.
     
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  18. testing

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    Phbbbtt. Nah, not true. (With all due respect, of course!)

    I've been with the same man (married and not) for 20 years, since we were both 19, and managed to enjoy it thoroughly. It is less work than dating, that's for sure. Dating inolves gobs and gobs of uncertainty and lack of trust, and the necessity (imaginary necessity, perhaps) of doing painful things like waxing certain body parts that were never meant to be waxed, and the discomfort that comes from lack of true intimacy.

    Married (or whatever) is way more fun and enjoyable because you don't have to deal with that kind of nonsense and other kinds of nonsense that people who are dating have to cope with. And it's not work, not really, if you love the other person, it makes everything (including sex) way more fun and less onerous, because you are with someone you love, like and respect.

    Maybe instead of "married" I should've typed "in a loving monogamous relationship". That may have made more sense, and it is certainly not work, at least not in my opinion/experience.
     
    #18 testing, Oct 18, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2009
  19. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    That relationships are filled with only good. Not true, there are good times and bad times.
     
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  20. sassafras

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    Biggest Myth IMO: Once you get into a relationship, everything else is going to be okay. Um, nope, no its not. Don't hide behind the relationship. Just because you're surrounded by love and comfort, doesn't mean your fears and shortcomings are about to take a hike.

    Second Biggest Myth IMO: If you're not in a relationship, or haven't been in a relationship for quite some time, than you're worthless and unlovable, and doomed to a lifetime of loneliness.
     
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