Biggest myths about love or relationships . . . | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

Biggest myths about love or relationships . . .

What is Love?

Our favorite description of love is from the movie Captain Corelli's Mandolin:
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine
Myth: That people will change once you get into a relationship with them.
Myth: That people will change once you get into a relationship with them.

Gahhh I hate this.

And that is why you gotta get to know the lovely mister or misses before trying to mack on them.
Biggest myth about love? That love at first sight exists. There is no love at first sight, there is only lust at first sight. Any example that anyone can give of love of first sight is more easily and rationally explained by it being lust at first sight that worked out remarkably well for both parties in the long term.

Too many people nowadays expect some instant "spark" when they meet someone and think that that spark means they're compatible. Maybe physically, but it gaurantees nothing. And you might let a lot of good catches go because you didn't feel some instant and rare "spark".

I understand your point, but i'm not sure if it's fair to say it doesn't exist. I think it exists but the problem is that we too often mistake a simple spark or initial attraction for it. If we're willing to believe that some people are capable of reading others easily, who they are, the type of person they are, just based on an initial impression, then it's not impossible to think that you can love someone at first sight.

The issue maybe more a matter of believing that because you've found this love so easily, that you don't have to work at it to build and sustain the relationship.
That a person could define love for others.


1) That you're either are or you aren't in love. It's that simple.

2) If you're really in love, you'll accept and love everything about the person.

3) Love doesn't exist because one hasn't experienced it.
Last edited: