Looking has never really worked for me although I tried to remain open to possibilities. Pursuing someone of course, has never worked or was ever a good idea. Living your life and enjoying it rather than waiting for someone to come along works much better. But for me, it only works if I don't allow myself to hope or if I don't consciously approach it psychologically as actively looking. But not looking or pretending that I am not interested does not work either. Trying to convince myself that being single is an ideal state, and not to care or worry about finding someone makes me more likely to think about it rather than not. In other words, telling myself not to look does not work. So, it's more about finding a balance.