Are you honest with yourself? | INFJ Forum

Are you honest with yourself?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Sep 20, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Are you usually honest with yourself?




    It is easy for you to do so? If yes why, if no, why not?


    Do you think it's important to be honest with yourself?


    Is honesty with self always a good thing?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Sep 20, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2010
  2. NeverAmI

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    Are you usually honest with yourself?

    Oh hell no! I know I lie to myself a lot. I deceive myself a lot. Only through routine and constant reflection do I realize things like that.

    It is easy for you to do so? If yes why, if no, why not?

    It is not easy for me to be honest with myself. By honest I mean digging for the real motivations and causes for what I do. For me to be honest with myself, I have to take the results of previous reflections and determine if they apply to my current state of mind. This requires active attention which can be difficult.


    Do you think it's important to be honest with yourself?

    I think it is very important, possibly the most important thing I can ever do in my life is to be honest with myself.

    Is honesty with self always a good thing?

    I think the concept of honesty with the self, and manipulation of that concept, is much more dangerous than true honesty. A lot of people think they are honest, or rationalize 'honesty,' when they are still actually deceiving themselves, which I am no exception to.
     
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  3. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    i try very hard to be. I used to be not very honest with myself. But with God's help, i've been working on that a lot.

    now, yeah, pretty easy.

    oh, definitely important


    yes
     
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  4. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Are you usually honest with yourself?

    There was a time when I wasn't. The worst part of it was that I didn't realize I wasn't being honest with myself. Or, maybe, I didn't have the capacity to be aware of what I was (or that I was) denying and rationalizing, or the capacity to deal with why I was doing it.

    It is easy for you to do so? If yes why, if no, why not?

    It is VERY easy for me to deny things within myself/to myself. I realized it a while ago and now I put a lot of effort in remaining vigilant about my thought processes. Why? I think there are several reasons for it, including what I mentioned above. I grew up in a space where I learned I couldn't be honest if I wanted to preserve other needs, which I guess were stronger. I also couldn't give voice to my reality and sometimes didn't have the skills for expressing myself without assistance - I needed to engage with others (which, at the time, gave truth to my reality) a lot more than was possible. But also, other people's realities seemed to scream so loudly that mine eventually faded away.

    Do you think it's important to be honest with yourself?

    Like NAI said, being honest with ourselves really might be one of the most important things we can ever do. Speaking for myself, I don't see how I can become self-actualized and achieve what I desire in life without being honest with myself. I do think it takes a lot of strength to admit what is and be willing to face it. I also don't think honesty (both with oneself and others) is an all or nothing affair. It's a lifetime commitment and, at least for myself, a case of constantly climbing the mountain.

    Is honesty with self always a good thing?


    Sometimes we may not be honest with ourselves because the truth might be more than we can handle. We might suppress or repress things (and thus, deny them) as a means of coping and in attempt to continue to function. So in that sense, I do think denial has its place and purpose. Unfortunately, things have to eventually be dealt with and a habit of being dishonest with ourselves can make this process (and life in general) significantly more difficult.
     
    #4 Soulful, Sep 20, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2010
  5. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    I don't know, what are some examples of not being honest with yourself?
     
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  6. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

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    Are you usually honest with yourself?
    Yes.

    It is easy for you to do so? If yes why, if no, why not?
    Is it easy? Would it coming naturally fall under the category of 'easy'?
    Why? I can't really lie to other people. If I can't even lie to other people (very well), then why would I even bother lying to myself? It's kind of pointless when eventually I'm going to have to face that same issue again sooner or later.

    Do you think it's important to be honest with yourself?
    Yes.

    Is honesty with self always a good thing?
    Not always, no. There are other reasons such as self-preservation.
    But I do think it's ideal to be honest with oneself.
     
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  7. tine

    tine Regular Poster

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    I do try to be honest, but I find it hard to see what's real and what isn't <-- ever have a dream and think it actually happened? It confuses you so much! I had one about my friend telling me something and thought it happened and asked him what he'd told me! I also had one about a forest and thought it was real.
    So I guess I try but sometimes it gets messed up because of things like that. What exactly is real? It's all down to perspective my friends!
     
  8. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    Honest? Sometimes brutally and sometimes not at all. It has always depended on whether I was at a point to make changes in my life or was mature enough to realize that there was a problem. I contantly question which leads to honesty but I don't think we are honest with ourselves naturally. Being honest with yourself and your motives is a learned process. I think strong Ni makes this process easier though. We are programmed to avoid pain and will go to great lengths to avoid painful things--some people will even split their personality to compartmentalize pain.
     
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  9. ~jet

    ~jet Director of Space Exploration

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    Nothing I ever say is the truth ... wait ... o_O
     
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  10. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    i try to be honest with myself, thats about as much as i'll say. why? because who really knows how far back motives go?

    ex; girl1 is angry with girl2, doesnt say anything, goes home and gets in fight with bf. girl1 realizes this is bc of girl2 not her bf which is the truth, its honest but does it stop there? i dont think so, perhaps this argument spawned from girl1's inability to communicate her feelings, which could lead back further to a stifled and oppressive home environment, which could branch back further to her resentment towards her mother, father, family who knows?

    we could stop at any one of these possibilities or explanations and call it honesty with ourselves and it would be right, but my question is not only how far back does each action/reaction go, but how far can we follow it even if we wanted to?
     
  11. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Yes.

    Yes. It is easy for me to be honest with myself because I find that if you're not honest with yourself and you're not actively trying to improve yourself, it is likely that you are stagnating in life. No one is perfect and no one will ever be but that doesn't exactly mean that you should call it quits and say "I'm the best version of me, right now". It's just my method of thought really, I tend to think about improving things and that includes myself.
    Yes. No one else can tell you you are a good person and that you're legitimately trying.
    I believe so.
     
  12. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    I try to be as honest with myself as I possibly can. I do realize in hindsight that I can overlook things and or deny myself of the truth to a degree, but this is not very often. It is usually when I am in so much pain that "facing the truth" is simply not a possiblity at that time. It usually isn't hard for me to be honest with myself as I have had a lot of practice with being honest with myself. At times I can be in a "limbo" state with being honest where I am only semi conscious of it. I do realize thought that it gets placed there for the purpose of allowing me to ease into it. If I am too bluntly honest with myself, I run the risk of ignoring my honesty and causing problems. As such the real problem with self honesty isn't so much realizing things, but actually listening to the honesty.
     
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  13. Saru Inc

    Saru Inc Schrödinger's Pussy
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    I'm brutually honest with myself 24/7, and acutely aware of the facts and consequences of my actions. Kind of why I'm always depressed.
     
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  14. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

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    If I'm not honest with myself why would anyone else bother to respect me either?
     
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  15. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Most of the time. Even if I do lie with myself, it's usually in a direct manner. "Hey, maybe it's not like this. Maybe it's like that!"
    The challenge is to accept reality and not bend it in anyway. :| And to let it sunk. Because I have moments when I registered the reality but it didn't sunk any bit..until later in time. And then I went >A<
    yeah. :| I can see the argument against, but I believe it's important.You have to know your flaws so you can fix them,
    Good thing? Yes. Harmless thing? Not always.
     
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