Any attention is/isn't good attention...?

arbygil

arbygil

Passing through
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INFJ
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9w1
I dunno. Sometimes I think people are on absolute crack, I really do. I understand when folks have legitimate issues, but when folks act like pissants because they can, I have to wonder about 'em.

I'm seeing it more, that certain people crave attention so much, that they'll create drama where it's not needed just so they can have all the attention on them. I guess you could call it trolling on the internet, but I see it in real life as well and I just don't understand its foolish appeal. Maybe I'm just old, is all, but I don't get it. I really don't. It smacks of 14 year old girls to me for some reason. :P

Meh. Well, I guess it's time to get some perspective. What about you? Do you feel any attention is good attention, even if it's for something seen as negative? Do you see it as a mental cry for help, where they just want someone to care about them at all? Or is it tiresome drivel of crybaby drama kings and queens?

What do you think?
 
could you cite some examples to be more clear please?
 
I think our current society has become too focused on negative attention.
For example: someone can act like a total idiot on a reality show, become notorious, attracting nothing but negative attention. And what does this bad behavior get you? Fame, success and even fortune. Jersey Shore is the highest rated show on MTV ever. This fact illustrates my point. In this day and age, acting out in a negative way for attention is not only encouraged, it is rewarded.
Personally that whole mentality makes me sick.

I hate negative attention. I try my damnedest to avoid it.
But I do know people that believe that any attention is good attention.
I've also noticed on forums in general that squeaky wheels get the grease. It seems the people who whine and moan and hate themselves the most in forums get the most attentive caring from the other members. I don't mean this forum in particular but internet communities in general.
 
corndogman said:
could you cite some examples to be more clear please?
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Um...I life does a pretty good job at this, as far as I've seen. But if you're concerned I'm talking about the forums or a particular member on the forums, I'm not. :)

I'm talking about general folks who have temper tantrums because they want all the attention on them, rather than being realistically upset. I can't really specifically use an example, but it's the example of someone say...going on an atheistic website and declaring, JESUS IS LORD! In big bold letters, or - in my friends' case - shouting, JESUS WAS A ZOMBIE on a Christian website. It's obvious they didn't want to discuss anything; they just wanted to hit and run.

I don't see the purpose in that kind of mess. It's like leaving flaming dog poo on someone's front porch.

ETA: And Whiskey, oh, so true. I absolutely cannot STAND Snooki or her crew. I never watched the show before, but I hate that I know her name. Mostly due to all the negative press.
 
Seems like a matter of perspective. The person doing the behavior probably sees it as good since it gets them attention (or maybe just a laugh).

I naturally see all things I don't like as evil and wrong./sarcasm
 
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corndogman said:
Seems like a matter of perspective. The person doing the behavior probably sees it as good since it gets them attention (or maybe just a laugh).

I naturally see all things I don't like as evil and wrong.
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You must see a lot of evil and wrong things in everyday life then.


As for my opinion, I think it is wrong to get attention for the wrong reasons, and right for the right reasons. Seems a bit simple, but it's also right. Can be hard to see right from wrong from so many different perspectives, but I bet out of all those, 1 is more right than all the others.
 
Yes, I think it backfires on overt attention seekers. Ultimately they succeed only in making themselves irrelevant.
 
Because of technology, we're more cut off from each other socially than ever before. Sitting down and talking to people has been vastly replaced by posting quick 1-line responses on facebook. We don't have much time to make an impression, so what we do really has to make an impression. Instead of relaxing and having time to communicate, we've become salespeople for ourselves. There's the subtle inclination that communication doesn't matter nearly as much as winning does. Put the other person down, elevate yourself. That's a lot of stress! And what happens when it doesn't go too well? People get desperate and act out.

I think that most of the actions done and things said today are ingenuine. People go through motions that aren't themselves in order to seem like an individual, or to seem normal. They act mad instead of getting mad. They act loving instead of being loving. They act like they care instead of caring. Why? Because we're supposed to. We should be angry at times, loving at other specific times, and care about specific things at specific times determined by a general concensus. You can't force it though - you can't force yourself to feel something you simply don't feel.

So I say that acting out in positive AND negative ways is bad. They're both fake and dishonest. Breaking something of someone else's so that you're "at least noticed" is awful, and so is joining an organization to build homes for the poor because you think it's what you're supposed to do - that you'll win over other people by forcing yourself to be charitable. The most honest and respectable thing that one can do is to truly express themselves. True expression is self-generated, self-sufficient, and self-fulfilling. Awkwardly, when we try to express ourselves we never do because we're "trying". True expression comes from that part in each of us that isn't encouraged or discouraged, but simply is. But that's a hard thing to find because when you don't see your true self... you just don't see it. You can only see the large, looming figures called "Appropriate" and "Inappropriate", "Good" and "Bad", "Should" and "Shouldn't", "Winner" and "Loser"... and it can take the realization of what's true, what's not segregated by these fickle terms, a while to come back.
 
Free Mind said:
As for my opinion, I think it is wrong to get attention for the wrong reasons, and right for the right reasons.
Click to expand...

If someone receives attention it is probably because the ones giving hir attention deem hir worthy of their attention. How is this a wrong reason? Are there any cases in which this isn't the reason for the attention?
 
It is narcissism and the celebrity complex that people have.
 
Yes! People now-a-days have this "Living their life like they are on TV" complex.
It's really annoying and what's most saddening are shows like "Hannah Montana" and other shows on the Disney Channel that encourage young kids and teens to act out and sass to their parents, friends, and peers. What happened to respect?
 
i wrote a whole essay on this, but i deleted it.

i think it boils down to: people sometimes need attention. when people are desperate for attention they act out. i think we should either try to help these people or ignore them. complaining about them doesn't help. i usually ignore that kind of behavior unless i can see a way to help. i feel badly about doing that, but any help i can offer has to be reserved for those i know i can personally reach.
 
like corndogman there is a manner in which this can amuse me, and especially on an internet forum, add to the general variety of opinion and lawlz. but at other times especially away from the internet i think it can amount to a personal security issue. as i work on my confidence i increasingly prefer not to bother others by cosying up to them, performing amateur theatrics in front of them, or seeking their emotional attention in other and similar ways. i think it's generally more respectful to avoid attracting this sort of attention-for-its-own-sake. life is challenging enough, there's already not enough time to get anything done, without scrambling the frequencies - i sometimes just want to ask people to cut it out!
 
I am quite the opposite. I feel that any attention is bad the majority of the time. When I personally feel that I need attention I usually try to fight with myself and not allow myself to receive it. My sense of what is good and bad attention though is skewed too far to the bad end of the spectrum though so I know I need to try and take understanding with it. The way I generally try to look at it, is the intention behind the person who is asking for the attention. Do they understand it? Have they thought about the cause and need for them desiring attention? Thus is it called for? Do they have any ideas of (at the very least) how to fix the situation that will no longer require them to desire attention? I am mostly speaking here of negative attention that is called on when someone is in some kind of pain. For me, I see it as alright as long as the person has a solid reason and understanding behind what's ailing them. Further, that they have some kind of game plan on how to fix it, and the will to do something about it. If people don't do those things then I usually think "well, that sucks for you then don't waste my time".
 
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