So at my College, I grew some interest on a cute girl I would randomly see around. One day I decided to break the ice and get to know her. Everything looked great, and I thought we hit off our first day of conversation really well. I really felt an interesting connection with her. We talked and texted, and the infatuation grew stronger.
All seemed well and promising until I found out she was still a teenager just taking courses at the College. She had me fooled. Me being a 21 year old, I knew for an instant that I'd have to let this one go, despite the heart-aching disappointment. It was saddening, because I felt a connection with her that I haven't felt with anyone else in a while, and she felt perfect to me. But trying to get over her, aiming for friendship, I would still naturally find myself hanging out with her at the college library and cafe. My brain and heart were in conflict. Somewhere in between, I would often have irrational thoughts such as "What if her parents could be lenient based on my very youthful appearance?" I'm often told I look like I'm still in high school, and many are surprised when they find out about my age and being a short thin guy also adds to it. But I had to accept the fact that is my age. I also thought to myself, "Considering we're both good Christians & Catholics, maybe I could get us Purity/Promise rings" as I'd be willing to do it, and it would truly test our respect for one another and our religious faith. But still the risks, factors, and the high possibility of society, friends, and family looking down/shaming us severely outweighed the effort or possibility of having a romantic relationship with her.
Then, I finally accepted the fact that I just can't date her yet.
Now, I want to somehow tell her that "I like you, but we should wait a little while". I keep tangling myself in finding the perfect scenario or situation for it, how and when to say it. I want her to remember me for years to come, to reserve me in her heart, wait for me as I hope to wait for her. It's really difficult trying to get over her, but I know I would be a true gentleman by waiting for her, as it would also test true love.
So how should I go about this? Tell her directly or do it subtly/gradually so she gets the idea without hurting her feelings? What else should I do?
It's summer break, and I still chat with her online/text a few times a week.
Thanks,
A stressed, frustrated INFJ.
All seemed well and promising until I found out she was still a teenager just taking courses at the College. She had me fooled. Me being a 21 year old, I knew for an instant that I'd have to let this one go, despite the heart-aching disappointment. It was saddening, because I felt a connection with her that I haven't felt with anyone else in a while, and she felt perfect to me. But trying to get over her, aiming for friendship, I would still naturally find myself hanging out with her at the college library and cafe. My brain and heart were in conflict. Somewhere in between, I would often have irrational thoughts such as "What if her parents could be lenient based on my very youthful appearance?" I'm often told I look like I'm still in high school, and many are surprised when they find out about my age and being a short thin guy also adds to it. But I had to accept the fact that is my age. I also thought to myself, "Considering we're both good Christians & Catholics, maybe I could get us Purity/Promise rings" as I'd be willing to do it, and it would truly test our respect for one another and our religious faith. But still the risks, factors, and the high possibility of society, friends, and family looking down/shaming us severely outweighed the effort or possibility of having a romantic relationship with her.
Then, I finally accepted the fact that I just can't date her yet.
Now, I want to somehow tell her that "I like you, but we should wait a little while". I keep tangling myself in finding the perfect scenario or situation for it, how and when to say it. I want her to remember me for years to come, to reserve me in her heart, wait for me as I hope to wait for her. It's really difficult trying to get over her, but I know I would be a true gentleman by waiting for her, as it would also test true love.
So how should I go about this? Tell her directly or do it subtly/gradually so she gets the idea without hurting her feelings? What else should I do?
It's summer break, and I still chat with her online/text a few times a week.
Thanks,
A stressed, frustrated INFJ.