Your story of the attraction that wasn't . . . | INFJ Forum

Your story of the attraction that wasn't . . .

Gaze

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Sep 5, 2009
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So, many here seem to have stories of "unrequited" affection or love (not the ones involving stalking or obsessive attractions), just simple, yet meaningful interactions you've had with someone briefly.

It could be that person you met who, to use a dorky cliche, made your heart skip a beat, from a brief interaction with them which stuck with you for a long time, but which never lead to anything beyond that brief encounter.

So, here's the question: What's your experience of that attraction or crush that wasn't?

Nothing racy or elicit PLEASE (although :m083: that could possibly make it more interesting). Hmm.
 
Unrequited love?

Now thats a painful subject, :m028:
 
Unrequited love?

Now thats a painful subject

This thread will be a whole lotta hurt.

If I summarised what you've asked for, from the past 4 months of my life, into one post, it would make me and everyone on this forum want to slit their wrists.
 
no comment.......................................one thing that really gets me wound up!
 
I'll bite. I hope this post is what the op meant:

There was a guy I met right before my husband (also a Pisces, I loves my fish). He was into all kinds of music I wasn't into, he introduced me to a film I really liked, we talked for hours. We hung out and did a whole lot of nothing one night. He was totally not into me sexually.
 
this is soooooo emo! :m136:
 
I'll bite. I hope this post is what the op meant:

There was a guy I met right before my husband (also a Pisces, I loves my fish). He was into all kinds of music I wasn't into, he introduced me to a film I really liked, we talked for hours. We hung out and did a whole lot of nothing one night. He was totally not into me sexually.

Yeah, something like that.
 
A painful subject for me and the people who seems to fall for me.

Or at least flock to me.

Don't get involved with Lucy I am a man killer.
:m071:
 
Aww. You'all are so cute, being so protective because you don't want to talk about those special someones. But, I'm not talking about long lost loves, just a brief encounter with someone where there was a mutual attraction, but for whatever reason, it never went anywhere. These are not love affairs, but moments of connection, or intense attraction which didn't go further for whatever reason.
 
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Aww. You'all are so cute, being so protective because you do want to talk about those special someones. But, I'm not talking about long lost loves, just a brief encounter with someone where there was a mutual attraction, but for whatever reason, it never went anywhere. These are not love affairs, but moments of connection, or intense attraction which didn't go further for whatever reason.

How bout, you start?
 
This thread makes me laugh.

Mums the word isn't it.
 
I had a crush on a close friend in high school for two years. She was extremely smart and kind and had a beautiful smile. When she smiled at me it always made my heart beat a mile a minute. She was such a dork. Her intense love for marine biology was one of her most endearing characteristics. I loved when she went off on an excited tangent about reef fish. She was on the girl's water polo team and it was awesome watching her kick ass during tournaments.

She'd always give me amazing warm and fuzzy hugs every time I saw her and quietly listened when I played guitar. She was one of the few people I sang to (I was shy). It was wonderful. I eventually told her how I felt and she let me down gently. It was the nicest rejection I've ever (probably will ever) receive. Nevertheless, I was still heart broken.

But I'm happy to say that we're still friends today. She'll always be one of my favorite people. How's that was unrequited love story? Bitter sweet, eh?
 
I had a crush on a close friend in high school for two years. She was extremely smart and kind and had a beautiful smile. When she smiled at me it always made my heart beat a mile a minute. She was such a dork. Her intense love for marine biology was one of her most endearing characteristics. I loved when she went off on an excited tangent about reef fish. She was on the girl's water polo team and it was awesome watching her kick ass during tournaments.

She'd always give me amazing warm and fuzzy hugs every time I saw her and quietly listened when I played guitar. She was one of the few people I sang to (I was shy). It was wonderful. I eventually told her how I felt and she let me down gently. It was the nicest rejection I've ever (probably will ever) receive. Nevertheless, I was still heart broken.

But I'm happy to say that we're still friends today. She'll always be one of my favorite people. How's that was unrequited love story? Bitter sweet, eh?

Wow, great story.
 
I don't know if this is the experiance that you were after:

One day I went dancing in Antwerp and I met two guys and with one of them I directly fell in love with from the first moment I saw him. But he was with a girl I thought was his girlfriend so I putted him out off my mind. Then somehow me and my girlfriend managed to talk to them and we figured out that my guy didn't had a girlfriend. Anyway I was to shy to ask there telephone number (although the other guy had asked my girlfriend here's and she didn't want to give it, damn you :becky:). So I went home with a lot of butterflies in my stomach (is that an expression in English?) and no hope for meeting him again.

a few weeks later some guy sended me a message on a relationship site that I was on. Surprize, surprize it was the other guy, he just found my profile there :shocked: and he asked to go for a drink, me, my girlfriend, him and my guy :kiss: So we did, and after that we went out for dancing and so on. I tryed to figure out if he was feeling something for me and I thought that he had some interest so I sended him an email to ask to go for a drink together. He answered something very vague like "shore I want to meet you all again". It gave the impression that he wasn't into me but I was not really sure so I asked my girlfriend to figure it out. At that moment she was starting to date that other guy (with who she is loving together right now). But like I thought he wasn't into me at all.

From that point he started to avoid me, didn't spoke to me if he could avoid it. But since my girlfriend was dating his friend, we saw each other very often so it was really painful for me for each time I saw him, I felt the butterflies again, was hurt again because he ignores me and tried to forget hem again afterwards.

Then on an certain point I noticed that he fell for one of my other girlfriends and she, aware of his attention started to feal something for him. For me double painful for not only he turns me down and ignores me, he want to date my girlfriend too. I could imagine them going out with all my other friends, sitting together, holding hands while I ... still alone :Cry: My girlfriend then asked me if I was against it if she would date him. What could I say? No, you can not? I don't own him and if he was the love of her live than who am I to forbid it? (my other girlfriends were against it :kiss:). She said she was sure she was into him so I gave my permission. She met him alone one time and suddenly she realised that he was not such a great fit to her so she didn't want anything to do with him any more, come on after one date??? Stupid chick couldn't you see that before you draged me into al those mixed up feelings? And we all foresaw that and we know that she falls in and out crushes all the time????? But after all, luckily for me that I didn't had to undergo that relationship.

Luckily she had thould him that it was really painfull for me that he kept ignoring me. The stupid bastard thought that ignoring me was the least painful for me. So after realizing his great mistake (guys can be so stupid) he started talking to me to a level that I can accept. And now we still meet from time to time togehter with my girlfriend and his friend (who live together now).

But every time I see him I fall in love again --> become hopefully again --> realize that he still does not want me --> and am hurt again...
 
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*bawls eyes out*
 
Some stories will be nice and some will be sad in this thread. But this thread will say, be careful to choice a partner. Because some people are not good at love understanding.
 
Wish I had a story to tell but I don't. But thanks for those who've shared so far. I'm sure it's not easy to share these experiences. As some of you said, it can be pretty painful to look back and think you've missed an opportunity. Best of luck!
 
An extract from an autobiographical piece I wrote in my early twenties about my teenage years:

As the summer rose in splendour out of the bleak rains of the previous month, and as it passed onwards into autumn, oblivious, I loved a girl called Sarah, madly, as we lay silently beneath the shifting stars. Mick was the one who kissed her.

As a group, we spent the evenings sipping miniature bottles of French beer in lemon scented candlelight, or hanging ape-like from a splintering wooden climbing frame made for kids half our age, or laying back restlessly on prickling tartan rugs, to the braying of sheep and spectacle of shooting stars bursting through the clear night sky. Looking back, those evenings were the best of my life.

I didn’t mind the mosquito bites, my frame close to my beloved Sarah whilst Mick caressed her face with his large, man-like hands. It was a strange love, my heart beating for her, imagining my lips in place when I heard her kiss him back. Numbly, I stood up and stretched, walking away from them to the swarming pond nearby, where a handful of golden carp and slimy tench dreamed away in the depths. On the brim of their murky ocean I wept seawater, and let the diving parasites drain the blood from my skin: blood that seemed to be shed from my heart. They both asked me what was wrong but I never told and instead took her younger sister Lauren for a walk, leaving them to the separateness lovers desire.

Lauren held my hand as we walked that night through lush fields where cows grazed with mellow, accepting eyes. Ours was innocence. The calm before the fall. Her long, cool fingers wrapped around my warm palm, then the laughter and panic as we stumbled across a lone bull and ran together to safety behind the rusting gate. Our eyes met. We smiled, then looked away.

Sometimes I think of my image of Lauren now, of how beautiful she was, with the warming sun glistening on her bathing costume during our long hours by the swimming pool, and those long, full curls of deep auburn hair; those clear green eyes and full lips, awakening to the prospect of being kissed. Then I was scared of admitting that I liked her, even to myself. Now I just twist a smile in acceptance of an opportunity long missed.