Your ISTJ experience! | INFJ Forum

Your ISTJ experience!

Hinsoog

Hinsoog

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Jun 9, 2009
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So, here is the ISTJ version of a line of threads that focus on our thoughts, feelings, and experiences dealing with a single type! What may be terribly interesting to hear is everyone's experience with ISTJs specifically! Being general is a given around here I suspect, but don't be afraid to be specific either!

So the person I'm probably closest to in my life is my ISTJ friend. I cannot stress just how much respect I have for this person. ISTJs are amazing people. He is a loud and clear version of ISTJ type. Everything about him is measured and weighted. He is the most THOROUGHLY safe and responsible person I have ever met. Sometimes you hear on here about various NFs needing a "grounding" sort of person in their life, and in talking to my ISTJ, you have absolutely no choice but to maintain at least some view of a foothold on the ground. You might even call it wastefully careful, but that doesnt sound like a flaw to me! We love going on and on about our opinions even when they are so different often, knowing that we are unshakably close, even with so much different territory that we are interested in. He is one of the most private people I have ever met, which, is eventually provoked out in a satisfying way due to the Fe self-disclosing bent of my INFJ-hood and the loyal and strong nature of our relationship.

It's great to be close to an ISTJ, because that depth of cooperation is thorough. So ISTJs will often condemn a lot of people as unsafe, as though associating with them and their ideas was poison, and that many areas of life and our culture were poisonous and not worth tolerating. Well, I know that in some capacity, I share that intolerance, but am also willing to approach those poisonous ideas and people in order to figure them out, so it spawns some rich discussion factoring in the perfect way that ISTJs measure and weight things soooo logically, but without risk of the ISTJ being suspicious of me for exploring them. If he was ever in the least concerned about me and how close I was to get to something risky or "poisonous", he would not spare the opporunity to discuss it with me with very close concern.

ISTJs are beautiful, and all in spite of the risk they face of seeming like robots. Being an NF of course, and one that he trusts and is close to, I am able to bring about that hilarious and "off-color" side of the ISTJ. ISTJs have an absolutly hilarious dry humor side, and "off-color" speech becomes a hilariously perfect way to describe the feisty tongue of an ISTJ in a comfortable space.

ISTJs are also amazing for their perfect preparedness and their vision of their straight and dependable line to reach their safe goal. My ISTJ works sooo hard to put himself into the position of advantage that he knows will keep him safe. It's really intimidating even. He gets fantastic grades, and knows just what series of scholoarships and merits he needs to be equipped with to land the engineering job that he is after(engineering is a classicaly SJ career).

In fact, it's people like ISTJs that I think makes it really hard for many of us to be sure that we are an INFJ instead of an INFP or vice versa. And it's because the sort of structure that ISTJs represent ends up being the de facto and quintessential "structure". For the ISTJ it's pure structure. It's about laying down plans, it's about punctuality, it's about making decisions comfortably and confidently. It's a sort of stuctured that not even other SJs can compete with let alone an INFJ that appears floaty in comparison!

So yeah, I am a big fan of my ISTJ! I would love to hear everyone's ISTJ experiences, thoughts, and feelings BOTH positive and negative!
 
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Spock?
 
My partner is an ISTJ.

And I'm afraid to talk because he lurks these forums! xD

Nah, lets be fair. He's a brilliant person.
Kind, caring, strong willed, strong headed, very set on his ideals and convictions, with high morals and beliefs that, however, don't discriminate anyone else's. He's got a very understanding, accepting and warm personality, utterly loyal to those he cares about. However, to those that tick him off, he'll be the coldest, meanest-glaring bastard you'll ever meet. (Yes, you are!)

The only downside of his personality regarding mine is that he's, well... a very strong ST, while I'm a very strong NF. As such, being the extremely rational and non-abstract thinker he is, he doesn't understand it very well when my feelings overflow. He can't seem to catch onto my moods unless they're trully obvious and, for how I used to do things (of waiting until people noticed I wasn't ok rather than saying it outloud) I had to change, because it never worked on him and I always ended blowing up in an overwhelming way.

However, this is about the only downside, and even then, it's actually helped me to be a little bit more open and realize flaws in myself. (ie, expecting people to notice me or my feelings and getting utterly annoyed when they didn't) It's also given us the chance to create real communication: we talk about everything, from idle banter to intelligent chats, to actually talking about how our relationship is going. We never keep anything quiet or to ourselves, which trully satisfies both our T and F sides. We've learnt a lot of each other this way.

There's so much I could say about him and his type, but I don't want his ego to burst (which I've noticed ISTJ's to have quite a lot of. They just don't say or show it often, but you can see their feathers puffing up when they do xD). All in all, I really feel like ISTJ's and INFJ's complement each other pretty well. What one lacks, the other has and if you know how to balance it, it really does work out well.
 
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Only know one.

One of my bestest friends, uberrogo is ISTJ!
There are definitely moments when he keeps me grounded by slapping me down to reality with his cutting sarcastic and insightful wit.

I appreciate his bluntness.
I don't think there's anything robotic about rogo. Sure, he may speak in a monotone voice and communicate through sarcasm.. But that's not robotic.
 
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I don't think I'm good friends with any ISTJs -- mostly because I don't know many-- but I suspect that I've known a few briefly in the past, and they always bring out this sort of bubbly happiness in me. INTJs too. Something about that no-nonsense atmosphere turns on a very childish switch -- it kind of confuses and annoys them, but they also tolerate it, and I think most of them actually like it but don't really know how to react.

I dunno. ISTJs make me want to hug them and make them smile when they don't want to.
 
I'm friends with an ISTJ, though she doesn't know that I know she is ISTJ (I read a paper she did about it), she doesn't know that I'm INFJ, and I don't think she cares at all about MBTI.

I can definitely see the down-to-earth-ness in her. When we talk, we tend to talk about very depressing things. I was expecting her to be irrational, but instead she seems to have a very realistic view of things, which makes me think she is covering her problems up or doesn't have them.

I know most people perceive her to be a robot, but yes, she can be very sarcastic. I don't have much to say about her except that I was surprised when I started talking to her.
 
In an instance where there is a solid and long lasting INFJ and ISTJ relationship, one of the two are likely mistyped, which is not uncommon considering how frequently the MBTI mistypes people on the J and P axis, especially introverts.

INFJs and ISTPs get along famously, because they are Ni, Fe, Ti, Se, and Ti, Se, Ni, Fe respectively. They have the same i, e, i, e order, as well as the same functions in different orders which are complimentary. They come to the same conclusions from opposite angles, having strong functions where the other is weak, garnering mutual respect.

INFPs and ISTJs also get along just as well, because they are Fi, Ne, Si, Te, and Si, Te, Fi, Ne respectively. They have the same i, e, i, e order, as well as the same functions in different orders which are complimentary. They come to the same conclusions from opposite angles, having strong functions where the other is weak, garnering mutual respect.

INFJs and ISTJs frequently have clashes due to the fact that they have opposing functions in every instance, creating a situation where each stage of thought process is antagonistic to one another. They do not share any functions, and are constantly in a state of considering the other is 'doing it wrong' and wondering how the other can come up with those notions.

Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
Si, Te, Fi, Ne

ISTPs are commonly mistyped as ISTJs, and INFPs are commonly mistyped as INFJs. I would suggest exploring type further if you suspect you are in an INFJ / ISTJ relationship that is not strenuous. One of you is likely a P type, or perhaps mistyped entirely, unless you're both extremely tolerant or your contact is not very frequent or of long duration.
 
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My step dad is an ISTJ. I like him for most things as he is caring and generally means well. He's terrible at knowing how he comes across to others though, or picking up on anyone's emotions.

Give us both a problem to solve though and we'll probably argue over which way to do it. We had plenty of problems when we lived together. Definitely functions clashes. Usually because once he gets in his mind that he wants to do something, it's going to be done right away no questions asked. And if it was something I objected to, it was like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Neither of us budging an inch.

We're still on good terms though. I think he eventually finally realized that I didn't think like he did and left well enough alone.
 
I really don't get along with ISTJ males very well. I wish I did, but I just don't get them and their dogmatic personality (stereotyping, here). I don't think I know any ISTJ females - wait, I take that back. One of my bosses might've been. But I didn't get along with her, either.

I think I have problems with the absolutes, and the black and white thinking. Every time I've had a run in with bad customer service it's been with an ISTJ who refused to budge on an issue that I saw had all kinds of answers other than THAT one.
 
If you're right Von Hase, then I wonder if its more likely that she is ISTP or that I'm INFP.
 
Von Hase said:
In an instance where there is a solid and long lasting INFJ and ISTJ relationship, one of the two are likely mistyped, which is not uncommon considering how frequently the MBTI mistypes people on the J and P axis, especially introverts.

INFJs and ISTPs get along famously, because they are Ni, Fe, Ti, Se, and Ti, Se, Ni, Fe respectively. They have the same i, e, i, e order, as well as the same functions in different orders which are complimentary. They come to the same conclusions from opposite angles, having strong functions where the other is weak, garnering mutual respect.

INFPs and ISTJs also get along just as well, because they are Fi, Ne, Si, Te, and Si, Te, Fi, Ne respectively. They have the same i, e, i, e order, as well as the same functions in different orders which are complimentary. They come to the same conclusions from opposite angles, having strong functions where the other is weak, garnering mutual respect.

INFJs and ISTJs frequently have clashes due to the fact that they have opposing functions in every instance, creating a situation where each stage of thought process is antagonistic to one another. They do not share any functions, and are constantly in a state of considering the other is 'doing it wrong' and wondering how the other can come up with those notions.

Ni, Fe, Ti, Se
Si, Te, Fi, Ne

ISTPs are commonly mistyped as ISTJs, and INFPs are commonly mistyped as INFJs. I would suggest exploring type further if you suspect you are in an INFJ / ISTJ relationship that is not strenuous. One of you is likely a P type, or perhaps mistyped entirely, unless you're both extremely tolerant or your contact is not very frequent or of long duration.
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Von Hase, I have to say, while I am pretty confident that I am indeed an INFJ, I can think of arguments for myself being an INFP, and it would thrill me if you would ever present your own for my type, but I think me and this ISTJ have just found a sort of good "setup", and have very similar hobbies. We simply just have a great routine for functioning well together. It's true that I cannot tolerate the idea of our interactions being too long or too frequent, but honestly, that's how I am with anyone, so it's hard to discen if it's fatigue from functions... It's also true that we are both very tolerant of each other, and have sort of grown to enjoy and make light of just how different we are...

On the topic of ISTPs, I am close to three ISTPs, and they are good relationships, though admittedly, I'm just not as close to them as the one ISTJ. The ISTJ has admitted that the only way to really account for the strength of our relationship is "history", and of course similar hobbies(music is a big source of hilarious contention here though). I'll save my ISTP rants for another time. One thing is for sure though, and I say this without pride, ISTPs generally really like me. This person is definately an ISTJ though. I've been meaning to start a thread about my own girth of ideas about distinguishing INFPs and INFJs and some problems therein, but suffice to say that I think INFJs can sort of force the qualities of Ne for various reasons, and that "structure" and "directing" is just a different animal for INFJs.
 
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gloomy-optimist said:
I don't think I'm good friends with any ISTJs -- mostly because I don't know many-- but I suspect that I've known a few briefly in the past, and they always bring out this sort of bubbly happiness in me. INTJs too. Something about that no-nonsense atmosphere turns on a very childish switch -- it kind of confuses and annoys them, but they also tolerate it, and I think most of them actually like it but don't really know how to react.

I dunno. ISTJs make me want to hug them and make them smile when they don't want to.
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Hahahaha! This is fantastic! I too sometimes feel the need to sort of become so much more crazy and mouthy around my ISTJ friend, maybe in part to match his dry wit, and perhaps partly to sort of tease past his sometimes initially formal and rigid demeanor. It's hilarious.
 
The ISTJ's that I have met (at least, I guess their type), I did not get along with at all. There was no line of fluid clear comunication in any way shape or form, and when there was communication, it was highly abbrasive.

As a general rule, I don't get along with the SJ variants, the worst being ESTJ.

Although, one of my best friends is an ESFJ. This is because though we have a very similar world outlook on things, and she is pretty open minded to the world (she doesn't use Fe in a typical "old world" way like most SFJ's do). We are both incredibly strange unique people, but in totally different ways. Hence there is an attraction one another.
 
Hinsoog said:
...I think me and this ISTJ have just found a sort of good "setup", and have very similar hobbies...
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I certainly am not claiming that INFJ / ISTJ relationships are not possible, just that they are going to be more difficult than most. They can certainly work, especially once the differences are overcome. Similar hobbies are a great reason to overcome them. I'm glad you have a good friend. They are more valuable than gold, especially ones who can bring things to the friendship we lack.
 
Being an ISTJ is probably the best thing ever. In fact, my personality is so good, that I would never want to trade it for anything. Sometimes I like to think about all the ways in which I rule, (which obviously is a long time!).

Sometimes I think that I am really a border line with some other profile because I can see Ctrl Alt Del's POV's and not think she is rediculous... where as I think many other people with her personality I would think was an ass wipe. Or maybe I used to be a different personality type and the Army made me an ISTJ through brainwashing? Perhaps I just like her and not like the other people. I can't really say I fit into the previous descriptions of ISTJ but maybe I dont see it from your point of view. Well I have things to plan out today, cant spend all my time here writing about myself.

Most people who meet me thing I am the bees knees so I dont understand why you are all being problematic for all my ISTJ brothers and sisters. It is too bad cause you are missing out on the number one best people in the world.
 
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my mother is ISTJ. I love her to death but many of the things she does really irritates me. And our senses of humour are just completely different!
Plus she always thinks I'm mad at her, which I'm not.
The main problem I have with her is her DO IT NOW mantality. I'm more of it...well it will get done...person. I know I'm in control but for some reason she doesn't seem to get that.
She can be fairly affectionate though...which is good b/c my dad isn't at all (it hurts me but he doesn't know it) <<---- that right there was a lot of opening up

although she likes to do these "love stares". I know she means well but I can't take all that staring.
 
i dated an istj and she was really mean to me and we cant get along, she tries to argue and is really cold to me. however sometimes it can be helpful.
 
Von Hase said:
I certainly am not claiming that INFJ / ISTJ relationships are not possible, just that they are going to be more difficult than most. They can certainly work, especially once the differences are overcome. Similar hobbies are a great reason to overcome them. I'm glad you have a good friend. They are more valuable than gold, especially ones who can bring things to the friendship we lack.
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they are VERY difficult, especially when you date someone who was suffering depression
 
-He was the sweetest caring individual until he decided he would leave me and disredared my threats of suicide! after I got upset and whatnot
-she is an awful friend who can never see the whole picture and manipulates and disregards my emotions and tries molding me into her
 
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