Younger Men with Older Women
- Thread starter InvisibleJim
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I used to like men who were younger than me by a couple years. I went through a few crushes on men who were at least three years younger than I was. I mean, that's not a huge age difference but when you are in your early 20's I feel like the gap shows. I don't know what it was. I think I was trying to recapture some of my youth by associating with people younger than me. I feel like I missed out on my teen years and I wanted to re-live them while it was still relatively appropriate to do so. Nothing ever came of it. I tend to have better connections with men who are at least a year or two older than me and have been known to fancy men as much as 10 years my senior.
when i was first divorced and back in the dating scene i got more attention from (much) younger men than men in my age group.
i dated a few guys that were ten years younger (i was in my early forties then) and although it was kind of an ego boost it wasn't all that great in the long run. there was too big of a gap in our life experiences to make for a good match.
i dated a few guys that were ten years younger (i was in my early forties then) and although it was kind of an ego boost it wasn't all that great in the long run. there was too big of a gap in our life experiences to make for a good match.
I have never dated anyone significantly younger than me. All my long-term bf's have been within a year or two of my age.
I don't know if I could honestly date someone who was in their 20's. I just don't think that there would be a great connection. I am willing to be wrong though if I find someone who interests me. I would think though that if I was with a man in his 20's it would be more about sex and companionship than looking for a lifelong mate.
I could see myself with someone in their 30's more easily but, again, I would have to think hard. I am not the happy homemaker and have made my decision to not have a family. I wouldn't want to be with someone who hadn't really made that decision for themselves first. I think men at this age are looking toward their future and wanting to settle down and choose a wifey. I wouldn't want the heartache of being with someone who yearned for something I couldn't give him.
One of the funniest things I've heard in awhile was a female comedian who said she was dating a younger man. She said that she heard the term cougar was used to describe an older woman who was dating a younger man. She said that they should call her what she really is....sore.
I don't know if I could honestly date someone who was in their 20's. I just don't think that there would be a great connection. I am willing to be wrong though if I find someone who interests me. I would think though that if I was with a man in his 20's it would be more about sex and companionship than looking for a lifelong mate.
I could see myself with someone in their 30's more easily but, again, I would have to think hard. I am not the happy homemaker and have made my decision to not have a family. I wouldn't want to be with someone who hadn't really made that decision for themselves first. I think men at this age are looking toward their future and wanting to settle down and choose a wifey. I wouldn't want the heartache of being with someone who yearned for something I couldn't give him.
One of the funniest things I've heard in awhile was a female comedian who said she was dating a younger man. She said that she heard the term cougar was used to describe an older woman who was dating a younger man. She said that they should call her what she really is....sore.
This Year has apparently been the Year of the Cougar for me. At the beginning of the year, I hooked up with a guy on his twenty-third birthday. It was just a vacation fling, so it was difficult to say anything about relationship dynamics but we had a great connection. He was quite the gentleman and rather sweet.
The second younger guy I was with was also a gentleman and a sweetheart. Or, at least he appeared to be at first. To be honest, I wouldn't have given him a chance if it weren't for that fling in Mexico. We had classes together and he had been pursuing me for a year, so at the end of February, I agreed to go out with him. Two weeks later, turned out he had been seeing another classmate of ours who was in the middle of a messy divorce with her husband... for over six months and didn't tell her or me that before he started pursuing me. I don't think that had anything to do with his age, so much as it had to do with his personality. Sweet on the outside, rotten two-timer on the inside.
In conclusion, my (relationship) experiences with younger men so far have been limited. I'm still open to the idea of dating someone younger than myself (not too much younger, maybe two or three years?) to give myself a better picture of what its like to be with someone younger, but as of right now, I haven't seen enough to say that there's a difference between men who are younger than me or my age.
Maturity-wise, anyway.
The second younger guy I was with was also a gentleman and a sweetheart. Or, at least he appeared to be at first. To be honest, I wouldn't have given him a chance if it weren't for that fling in Mexico. We had classes together and he had been pursuing me for a year, so at the end of February, I agreed to go out with him. Two weeks later, turned out he had been seeing another classmate of ours who was in the middle of a messy divorce with her husband... for over six months and didn't tell her or me that before he started pursuing me. I don't think that had anything to do with his age, so much as it had to do with his personality. Sweet on the outside, rotten two-timer on the inside.
In conclusion, my (relationship) experiences with younger men so far have been limited. I'm still open to the idea of dating someone younger than myself (not too much younger, maybe two or three years?) to give myself a better picture of what its like to be with someone younger, but as of right now, I haven't seen enough to say that there's a difference between men who are younger than me or my age.
Maturity-wise, anyway.
I say if it works, go for it, and it can go both ways. I had a male friend who dated a women 20 years his senior and it was the best relationship he ever had; she was stable and had her life figured out which is exactly what he needed. Unfortunately they broke up because he wants to be able to have kids some day, and she's done with that part of her life. So, I suppose it can work but relationships with such a huge age gap can have a lot more obsticals than that of a relationship with two people of similar age.
A few years younger wouldn't matter (-5 years). But I think generational and cultural differences have more of an impact. Younger men usually look for a particular type of older woman. Older women are considered more mature and stable. I think life experience matters more though. Two people can be the same age but their maturity and life experience is quite different. Two people can be years apart but yet be in the same frame of mind, or place in their lives. I know someone who is two years younger, but has been married twice and has two kids. Although he is younger, his life experience and perspective is years beyond mine. Although he is still relatively young (early 30s), he is more a good 7-10 years older emotionally. He had to deal with things I'll probably never experience. So, age alone isn't enough to judge.
There is a guy 11 years younger than me with whom I've had a flirtatious friendship for about 4 years. Recently we have started wondering if maybe we might want something more than that. I think the trap that a lot of "older women with younger men" fall into is that they end up with a needy child. YUCK! The gentleman I'm interested in is attractive to me precisely because he is independent, and NOT some kind of adult child. I raised my two kids. I'm all done with children.
I don't think age should be a factor when choosing one's partner as long
as they are mature and healthy enough to make decisions for themselves
and you're compatible. If you're looking for a fling I also don't think age
should matter, as long as they are old enough to consent to sex without
fear of having their parents press charges, just use protection and precaution.
as they are mature and healthy enough to make decisions for themselves
and you're compatible. If you're looking for a fling I also don't think age
should matter, as long as they are old enough to consent to sex without
fear of having their parents press charges, just use protection and precaution.
As usual, I agree with bird! Mostly...
Small age differences are irrelevant — more irrelevant the older you get. But larger ones, despite all the anecdotes and exceptions to the rule that do exist — I can’t help but wonder, with a large (10+) year age difference in a long-term romantic relationship…. Why? What on earth would the man in that couple see in that? And eventually, what man would want to deal with things like hip replacements, hearing aids, menopause, gray hair…. Sexy, right? Maybe if it was an exceptionally good-looking or maybe wealthy older woman/younger man combo, well, that might make both parties happy, and more power to them if that’s the case. That's their business and I would just be happy for them. But for your average older woman/younger man in a serious relationship that is more than a fling, and although I would not judge such a couple, I would wonder why a little?? Probably because I am shallow. If I was single and all of a sudden got hit on by someone that much younger I would die of shock first so the relationship would automatically be doomed.
For my part, I’m with Gracie Ruth on the whole man vs. boy thing. I much prefer men (of any age!) than boys (also of any age) who can be a little bratty sometimes, and frankly, I have my hands full taking care of various children, not that I don’t love them, I do! But for a relationship someone with some maturity is much preferable to me.
Small age differences are irrelevant — more irrelevant the older you get. But larger ones, despite all the anecdotes and exceptions to the rule that do exist — I can’t help but wonder, with a large (10+) year age difference in a long-term romantic relationship…. Why? What on earth would the man in that couple see in that? And eventually, what man would want to deal with things like hip replacements, hearing aids, menopause, gray hair…. Sexy, right? Maybe if it was an exceptionally good-looking or maybe wealthy older woman/younger man combo, well, that might make both parties happy, and more power to them if that’s the case. That's their business and I would just be happy for them. But for your average older woman/younger man in a serious relationship that is more than a fling, and although I would not judge such a couple, I would wonder why a little?? Probably because I am shallow. If I was single and all of a sudden got hit on by someone that much younger I would die of shock first so the relationship would automatically be doomed.
For my part, I’m with Gracie Ruth on the whole man vs. boy thing. I much prefer men (of any age!) than boys (also of any age) who can be a little bratty sometimes, and frankly, I have my hands full taking care of various children, not that I don’t love them, I do! But for a relationship someone with some maturity is much preferable to me.
^^ This. I think it is especially b/c as you age, you will always feel a certain age inside ... and you won't know it or fully understand it until you have passed it. I will be 37 forever. I know 50 year olds that feel like 20 year olds ... men and women alike.
For some if not most, 5 years younger is still considered in the same age or peer group or range especially as you get older. But it's when someone is 8-10 years younger that I think there's going to be a significant difference. For me, someone who is 10 years younger would be too large a difference in perspective, etc. And other factors such as social differences and attractiveness of course matters. For two people of the same age, one can appear quite youthful in personality or appearance, but the other may appear much older in appearance or perspective as well. So, a younger man may be very attracted to the first, but not the second because they give very different impressions.
I seem about 5-7 years younger in appearance appearance wise, based on what I've been told, so someone in their mid to late twenties would seem to fall in the same age range. But I'm closer to mid thirties than twenties, so there is likely more of a difference than someone expects. So appearance has a lot to do with how people view age. I doubt I'd be a good fit for someone in their twenties. I think someone in their twenties has also different things they are looking for. Probably better fit with someone just a few years older rather than younger.
I used to be very interested in older but feels a bit ridiculous now. Someone in my age range is fine.
I seem about 5-7 years younger in appearance appearance wise, based on what I've been told, so someone in their mid to late twenties would seem to fall in the same age range. But I'm closer to mid thirties than twenties, so there is likely more of a difference than someone expects. So appearance has a lot to do with how people view age. I doubt I'd be a good fit for someone in their twenties. I think someone in their twenties has also different things they are looking for. Probably better fit with someone just a few years older rather than younger.
I used to be very interested in older but feels a bit ridiculous now. Someone in my age range is fine.
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I think that significant age differences have to be factored into the equation. I personally dislike the whole "age is a just a number" argument. Piffle I say, Piffle. Our experiences shape who we are and there is a big difference between 43 and 23. I hate to give absolute statements because the gods love to make you eat your words but, I seriously doubt that I would find someone a good fit who was significantly younger or older than myself. I would be comfortable with maybe 10 years max and that would be pushing it. I agree with [MENTION=1669]Ame[/MENTION] for about 5 to 7 being a good fit.
