Why it sucks to be an INFJ

[Jonah Caan]

The thing that comes to my mind instantly is that I think as an INFJ male I always feel like I'm too emotional for a man. Most of why I think this was due to toxic societal norms but even now I think I'm too sensitive for a guy sometimes and a lot of this goes back to so many factors that make up my personality.

But more importantly, as INFJs because we love (I think) deeper than any other type, it also cuts the deepest when those loved hurt us. I think this might be the ultimate reason for why it sucks to be an INFJ for me.

p.s. Boundaries are the key to manage the latter (I've found) in ALL relationships, even with 'the love of your life'.

 

[InTRovErT34]

The thing that comes to my mind instantly is that I think as an INFJ male I always feel like I'm too emotional for a man. Most of why I think this was due to toxic societal norms but even now I think I'm too sensitive for a guy sometimes and a lot of this goes back to so many factors that make up my personality.

But more importantly, as INFJs because we love (I think) deeper than any other type, it also cuts the deepest when those loved hurt us. I think this might be the ultimate reason for why it sucks to be an INFJ for me.

p.s. Boundaries are the key to manage the latter (I've found) in ALL relationships, even with 'the love of your life'.

It's ok bro for a man to be in touch with his emotions shows more maturity and and truly manliness for having the balls to let it show and not hide it like a tough guy . Your good let it flow . Wish you well man .
See ya around..

 

[Jonah Caan]

It's ok bro for a man to be in touch with his emotions shows more maturity and and truly manliness for having the balls to let it show and not hide it like a tough guy . Your good let it flow . Wish you well man .
See ya around..

Absolutely man; thanks for the reminder, I really needed it

You too mate; take care.

 

[InTRovErT34]

I might say more for the topic sake, such as that now I am 30, single and maybe loved, maybe from an ENFP who knows I will find out, and that I currently with a job, which I don't totally like, I wouldn't marry this job I mean, and so on... so I am normal sane person, average in most things I mean not really normal but among us yes I am neither such a healthy INFJ nor a complete junky, but maybe in the midway(if not more on the unhealthy point)... But I must admit it, I have been in the deep shit bottom of the well and suffering, maybe I would have lost completely my self if it wasn't for some spiritual guidance I "casually" found on my way...
But I realize that it doesn't necessarily mean anything for anybody else... I mean each one is a different guy and we need different guidance... but I can totally be sure of losing my mind, I would have had madness episodes to cool down very very promptly and maybe antidepressives and stuff... money to spend for mental sanity and those kind of stuff which I don't criticize but I would never recommend, and I luckily never ever needed in the end...
so yeah looking at my back, effffing yeah that mostly infj life sucks...

be

Absolutely man; thanks for the reminder, I really needed it

You too mate; take care.

Your welcome I'm sure you already knew what I stated. But it is always nice to hear it..

 

[Roses In The Vineyard]

The thing that comes to my mind instantly is that I think as an INFJ male I always feel like I'm too emotional for a man. Most of why I think this was due to toxic societal norms but even now I think I'm too sensitive for a guy sometimes and a lot of this goes back to so many factors that make up my personality.

But more importantly, as INFJs because we love (I think) deeper than any other type, it also cuts the deepest when those loved hurt us. I think this might be the ultimate reason for why it sucks to be an INFJ for me.

p.s. Boundaries are the key to manage the latter (I've found) in ALL relationships, even with 'the love of your life'.

The whole situation of being between a rock and a hard place when it comes to societal norms let alone gender norms is brutal and it doesn't help that there can be a lot of pressure from both sides to conform. Personally I deeply despise being treated like office or line equipment as if I don't have emotions ect by both men and women especially when I am not feeling well be it from back pain or just having another day. I am irked that it is pretty common for there to be so many men out there (like the majority) that don't put much if any value at all when it comes to emotions and women having the attitude that men don't have emotions at all aside from the usual rage, frustration, and anger ect. The "positive" people are pretty annoying themselves where depth of feeling isn't allowed so everything has to be cotton candy or it all goes to hell for which of course they have ALL the support while everyone else is left to themselves to cope.

 

[InTRovErT34]

The whole situation of being between a rock and a hard place when it comes to societal norms let alone gender norms is brutal and it doesn't help that there can be a lot of pressure from both sides to conform. Personally I deeply despise being treated like office or line equipment as if I don't have emotions ect by both men and women especially when I am not feeling well be it from back pain or just having another day. I am irked that it is pretty common for there to be so many men out there (like the majority) that don't put much if any value at all when it comes to emotions and women having the attitude that men don't have emotions at all aside from the usual rage, frustration, and anger ect. The "positive" people are pretty annoying themselves where depth of feeling isn't allowed so everything has to be cotton candy or it all goes to hell for which of course they have ALL the support while everyone else is left to themselves to cope.

Yeah there's a lot of that stuff out there . Men like us are minority in numbers. But glad we're here though .
Keep on keepin on..

 

[sammy90]

yeah... "why it sucks to be an infj" huh? but what about being a jerk? someone or anyone who just asks question about your social status, or what you dream, what you will do, what's your job etc... like you get chosen by boxes to fill and so you aren't really human, just a tinder match, just a thing, an object...
actually, people's trust for negotiating intimacy is based on so very small reasons...
I get it, I am not a jerk my self, I mean people's trust is mostly based on their personal experience...
but that isn't all...

 

[Sidis Coruscatis]

When you are right you don't get credit the way an NT type does-actually being right makes you an "asshole". People say "ah ...don't be a sorry sport". I realize it's ok to be right and leave the judgments for others to busy themselves with... ;P

Why do you think NTs get better credit? In my experience we can be extremely abrasive about being right (especially the younger ones who still have that perfect combination of ignorance and arrogance), which is a particularly bad approach when you're trying to undermine someone's belief.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

I see it all the time, even on this site.
But what I'm also saying is that it doesn't matter.

What, really?

I don't recall any INFJs being right.

 

[Sidis Coruscatis]

I see it all the time, even on this site.
But what I'm also saying is that it doesn't matter.

It's your confirmation bias against mine. lol
I know that in MBTI communities people tend to take Ts more seriously just because "thinking" about stuff must produce better results than "feeling" it. I see this being less of an issue in real life though.

@Deleted member 16771 lmao

 

[Sidis Coruscatis]

Who said it was an "issue"?

People who see it as an issue. If you don't mind, more power to you.
I see your edit now.

 

[Wyote]

It's your confirmation bias against mine.

 

[Jopetzki]

1. Not understanding my emotionally and situationally/socially universal affective empathy made my life difficult in the past, when I would have mania one moment and murderous rage the next, after which I might feel intoxicated for no reason (I used to hang around with quite the bunch).

2. Seeing my brother and sister not understanding themselves and suffering for no reason is unfortunate to watch, and so is watching any other unhealthy INFJ. They have such a potential for awareness, but they've been blinded to it, and act like they're not separated from the common problems of the common man. INFJs are much stronger than many of them realize - powerful leader personalities, to be certain. My two cents to any unhealthy INFJ: go to nature for a few hours every day, and see if you'll realize how "your problems" were actually all affective empathy.

3. As an INFJ, I am prone to being a complaining bitch. F*ck this life !!1 (seriously, so many of us are irrational as hell, letting their empathetically attained feelings seep into their thoughts, as if they can't just watch comedy for a few minutes and feel like going for an interview)

 

[biwaly]

It only sucks to be an INFJ when you suck as a person.

 

[Jopetzki]

It only sucks to be an INFJ when you suck as a person.

Not sure what you mean by that, but I see truth in that. INFJs should never be assholes, and it's kinda pathetic to see that happen sometimes. I was a cynical dick as a kid, when I honestly didn't realize I was so empathetic that I hurt myself by hurting others. However, being accepting and loving towards others makes my life amazing.

 

[Jexocuha]

Why it sucks to be an INFJ

It can suck to be an INFJ in those times when you have to constantly work against your intuitions and instincts in order to survive, get along, learn, or get something done[and usually there's no reward or personal gain from this. To me it feels more like I just prevented a complete disaster or avoided a total catastrophe.] On the flip side, it's very nice being an INFJ when you are in an environment or around people who you can go with the flow with.

 

[Wyote]

To me it feels more like I just prevented a complete disaster or avoided a total catastrophe

Real infjs will understand this

On the flip side, it's very nice being an INFJ when you are in an environment or around people who you can go with the flow with.

 

[Matty]

Not INFJ, but this is what I think would suck about being one:

Extroverted feeling and introverted thinking. Your emotional life is dependent on others, and your interior life is a bunch of sterile insights.

I think that would suck, because in me it's reversed, and I love extroverted thinking and introverted feeling. My emotional life is dependent on me, and something as simple as a nap, or looking at trees makes me feel fulfilled, happy, and as though everything is right with the world. Extroverted thinking makes it easy to have a profound sense of accomplishment; I don't have to change people to feel accomplished (like Fe users need), I just have to make a practical/logical contribution, like making a process more efficient, or building/making something. Even polishing then waxing tarnished brass and getting it shiny makes me sigh with contentment at having improved something, and made it resistant to tarnishing again.

 

[LezKitty]

1. It sucks that we are able to confuse ourself unbelievably just because our gut and our thought just wont get along.

2. its very very hard to find someone that actually understands us for just once!

3. its frustrating to learn, that our visions are too good to be true and to survive in this cruel world.

 

[Vendrah]

It can suck to be an INFJ in those times when you have to constantly work against your intuitions and instincts in order to survive, get along, learn, or get something done[and usually there's no reward or personal gain from this. To me it feels more like I just prevented a complete disaster or avoided a total catastrophe.] On the flip side, it's very nice being an INFJ when you are in an environment or around people who you can go with the flow with.

I think this is much more beyond being INFJ...Should be a thing for a lot of other types as well.