Why don't INFJs fit into society | Page 5 | INFJ Forum

Why don't INFJs fit into society

SpecialEdition said:
Everyone fits. I imagine most INFJ's who talk about not fitting in are just those who having found meaningful connections with other people. I am willing to bet that most people who know INFJ's would not say they didn't fit in. I know plenty of INFJ's who are fully integrated into day to day society. How they personally feel about it may just be different than how it looks from the outside in.

Most people I know who say they don't "fit in" with society just say that because they don't feel personally aligned with most people's values and how they spend there time. I can see how they might have the perception that there's this whole ocean of people that are operating one way while they are operating on a different frequency. We're all a part of the same fucking ocean.

The way that I think about INFJ's or any other type is that they're all functioning as part of a whole. Each type of person is required and plays a role. They're not born to be outsiders - that's absurd. They bring value in a different way than other people do. It's up to them to find their place in the world instead of pretending to themselves that they somehow innately don't belong.
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INFJs say they don't fit in and means that they often feel out of place in most social settings. I work in a large unit and work well with most people and enjoy being part of the group at work. What I don't do or enjoy is the social norms like small talk and arranged group get together I also will often walk into rooms ( lunchroom) and not say a work to anyone there. I don't feel the need to communicate just because people are in the room. This may seem rude to others and many may see me as not wanting to socialize because I don't go to work outings. This is not the case it is just not my style and not the way I enjoy to be with others. So yes I do feel I don't fit in with respect to what I have just described here. I believe most INFJs are like this too.
 
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Chow said:
INFJs say they don't fit in and means that they often feel out of place in most social settings. I work in a large unit and work well with most people and enjoy being part of the group at work. What I don't do or enjoy is the social norms like small talk and arranged group get together I also will often walk into rooms ( lunchroom) and not say a work to anyone there. I don't feel the need to communicate just because people are in the room. This may seem rude to others and many may see me as not wanting to socialize because I don't go to work outings. This is not the case it is just not my style and not the way I enjoy to be with others. So yes I do feel I don't fit in with respect to what I have just described here. I believe most INFJs are like this too.
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Exactly. During lunch I just want to eat my food and check my phone.. If I am being talked to I will engage in the conversation (but not for too long) but I will not initiate it, since I want to eat and recharge my energy. The last time I had a part-time job I also noticed I was the silent one and the others were talking all the time, about the most insignificant things.. I wish I could have recorded it with my thoughts as the commentary.
 
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Chow said:
INFJs say they don't fit in and means that they often feel out of place in most social settings. I work in a large unit and work well with most people and enjoy being part of the group at work. What I don't do or enjoy is the social norms like small talk and arranged group get together I also will often walk into rooms ( lunchroom) and not say a work to anyone there. I don't feel the need to communicate just because people are in the room. This may seem rude to others and many may see me as not wanting to socialize because I don't go to work outings. This is not the case it is just not my style and not the way I enjoy to be with others. So yes I do feel I don't fit in with respect to what I have just described here. I believe most INFJs are like this too.
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You aced the INFJ profile. Whatever you are, I like you.
If an INFJ is one in a hundred, he/she has zero chance of meeting one in a hundred people because he/she is it.
In a thousand people, there aren't any.
They would never put themselves in a crowd of a thousand people.

Just having fun:)
 
I don’t think fitting into society is the best term, more like blending in to be more exact. Although we are capable of “fitting” in, we tend to be perceived as the “odd” ones or rather interesting due to our unique way of mannerism and thinking. We get so lost and deep into our thoughts, it can be a double edged sword. We don’t mind being alone, nor do we mind interacting with others. We are perfectly in the middle. While we do fit in, some of us prefer not to conform to societal expectations.

Social media is all the rage, but I could care less about it in comparison to my friends who take selfies endlessly on Instagram or post a picture of what they ate an hour ago. I have Facebook but I am not too obsessed with it, I only use it for family purposes.

Most of us INFJs are old souls that ache for deeper connections with others with whom we can share ideas and philosophies. Sometimes we want to have the feeling of being understood because INFJs are just so incredibly rare—another reason why we are viewed as weird because there is literally almost no one like us, and it can be incredibly depressing and lonely.
 
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I get along with others, and work well with others, and I have a lot of acquaintances, but the fact that I am Ni dominant, while the majority of people are Sensors (who are either sensing dominant, or use sensing as a secondary function) means most of the people in a crowd won't "get me". I can tell immediately if people don't get me, even if people are gracious about it, or receptive.

According to any platform that bases personality on dominant cognitive functions, our brains simply work differently. More common types are accustomed to others understanding them because the odds that they share functions with others are higher. The less common types will fail to "fit in". Those who are accustomed to blending in will often react to those who do not blend in, depending on type, maturity, and their own stacks. Some stacks like uniformity and fitting in, so they're less likely to embrace those who don't unless they're "self-aware" and have worked on this. Others appreciate a wide variety of people, even if they don't "understand" everyone.

All humans feel like nobody understands them. It is the human condition. Being rare and misunderstood is romanticized. That is one reason I think the idea of being rare and misunderstood should be omitted from the INFJ "general description". INTJ females are 1% of the population, and they never get classified as "rarest", though they are slightly rarer than INFJs. (So, according to official MBTI testing stats, INFJs are not "rarest".)

My personal experience is that I rarely meet people that get me. I censor myself and avoid opening up. If I make that mistake, it can be awkward, tragic, comedic. It's sort of a drag to have a brain that has a less common stack... not that I want to be different. I don't.
 
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@Asa and also there is a fair amount of hair splitting when you divide up by gender. A lot of types are very rare, essentially the same amount of rarity. It is sort of a moot point as far as individual types, but more practical to talk in terms of general society and feeling those types of pressures of being different. ENFJ men are quite rare. As are INTP women.
 
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Wyote said:
@Asa and also there is a fair amount of hair splitting when you divide up by gender. A lot of types are very rare, essentially the same amount of rarity. It is sort of a moot point as far as individual types, but more practical to talk in terms of general society and feeling those types of pressures of being different. ENFJ men are quite rare. As are INTP women.
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Exactly, @Wyote!

I doubt those small percentages make a difference with how people feel. Nobody goes around saying, "I feel rare, but thankfully, less rare than that other type."
 
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