Why do I do this?

[Claridon]

I'm a newbie but am about twice your age jessvj (which doesn't make me an expert, but just made more mistakes over a longer period of time)
but the thing I discovered is to relax and be yourself. That sounds cliched, but it is true. When things worked out, it was when I was being who I am, eccentric and normal and honest. If she likes you when you aren't trying, then when you feel yourself start to clench up...unclench.

 

[jessvj]

I'm a newbie but am about twice your age jessvj (which doesn't make me an expert, but just made more mistakes over a longer period of time)
but the thing I discovered is to relax and be yourself. That sounds cliched, but it is true. When things worked out, it was when I was being who I am, eccentric and normal and honest. If she likes you when you aren't trying, then when you feel yourself start to clench up...unclench.

thx, over the last three years that I've known her, we have gotten a lot close, and in those three years I noticed I have changed alot because of her. I used to be at an 1.8 GPA average when I met her, she for some reason coerced me into taking AP and honors courses, and just this last year, my previous GPA for Junior year, was a 4.5......
How does that dedication lead to that, what happens to me if she somehow, and I hope not, leaves my life? Will I sink back into my old self, it scares me to think that I'm now in too deep, but have made it a point to focus my motivation towards doing what I feel what's best for me, it's not an easy thing to do when you're in love, but it is for the best. I hope to see her very soon, we need to have a talk and by then I will not be afraid to tell her how I feel. It's not going to be easy the next few months....

 

[Claridon]

thx, over the last three years that I've known her, we have gotten a lot close, and in those three years I noticed I have changed alot because of her. I used to be at an 1.8 GPA average when I met her, she for some reason coerced me into taking AP and honors courses, and just this last year, my previous GPA for Junior year, was a 4.5......
How does that dedication lead to that, what happens to me if she somehow, and I hope not, leaves my life? Will I sink back into my old self, it scares me to think that I'm now in too deep, but have made it a point to focus my motivation towards doing what I feel what's best for me, it's not an easy thing to do when you're in love, but it is for the best. I hope to see her very soon, we need to have a talk and by then I will not be afraid to tell her how I feel. It's not going to be easy the next few months....

I don't think you will sink back into your old self, because of what you said a bit later, "but have made it a point to focus my motivations towards doing what I feel what's best for me," whatever the outcome, you are making a positive move. Doing what is best for you wouldn't be regressing back into your old self. YOU have changed, she was helpful, but it was you doing the work, she was simply, gratefully, the encourager.

 

[jessvj]

I don't think you will sink back into your old self, because of what you said a bit later, "but have made it a point to focus my motivations towards doing what I feel what's best for me," whatever the outcome, you are making a positive move. Doing what is best for you wouldn't be regressing back into your old self. YOU have changed, she was helpful, but it was you doing the work, she was simply, gratefully, the encourager.

Exactly, I have been trying to go about my day not thinking about her, taking small steps so that I can get my mind off of her, but I also have another problem.....when she does come back from school, I usually hang out at her house, but there are moments(that happen frequently) when her dad just comes home in a bad mood, he owns a hotel which I would understand to be stressful, but when she messes up something small, he yells at her and even one time threatened to hit her, while I was there. How am I supposed to treat these situations, threatening her dad is not really an option, and he can be very irrational pretty much everyday.