Why do I do this? | INFJ Forum

Why do I do this?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by jessvj, Sep 19, 2010.

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  1. jessvj

    jessvj Newbie

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    I have a lot of friends that are a big part of my life, but every once in awhile a girl comes along who wants to get close to me, but why when I get close to someone, I begin to alienate myself. I get really quiet, almost shy, I act weird in public around them, I even get clumsy with simple tasks, why would I get like this when that's not me at all? I have lost a lot of friends because I assume they think I'm ignoring them, how can I stop this, it has been happening since I was little. There's a girl in my life I really care about, please I know I'm young, so I'm taking it slow, but I don't want to lose her. :m107:
     
  2. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    relax man. I've been there. was stuck in that mode myself till recently. and you actually sound like me HAHAHA

    well, firstly, how are you with her? are you like this when you're with your friends and shes there or when shes not there or all the time?

    for me, it was just when she was there. I'd literally shut up and just hide in the smallest possible corner. I forced myself to talk to my friends a little to help reduce the awkwadness and reduce the tension of why I am not talking to them. I'd talk to the friends closest to me of course. closest as in both physically and relationship wise. I'd also talk to her online like on msn or sms or other shit so that I have interaction with both. after awhile it should not get so awkward and things would improve :) just my 2 cents and personal shit that i went through haha . oh yeah be sure to notice her actions when shes around you. she could be showing signs that she likes you too just that you cant see it ;) that was the case for me :/
     
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    jessvj

    jessvj Newbie

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    Definitely when I'm around her, I'm quiet, around friends I am quite social and different, but with her I just sit there, yet she still spends time with me, one time we stood up till 2 am listening to music off her ipod, sometimes we watch bollywood movies and she would lay against me as if I was a pillow. By taking it slow, we have become great friends over the years. Yet I can't stop thinking about her, she gave me a kiss on her graduation day, but it was on the cheek and was crying after telling her something, I've yet to tell her how I feel, but I'm waiting till graduation day for me.
     
  4. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    HAHAHA was in a similar situation man. or rather still is somewhat. no harm just askin her out :)
     
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    jessvj

    jessvj Newbie

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    lol, yea, only problem is that she's in college and I'm a senior, I'll be of age soon enough lol
     
  6. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    I'm assuming shes one year older by that? sorry man school system heres a little different aha

    honestly I think one or two years doesnt matter. especially when you move it out into the working world. the girl I like is also a year older and i suppose is in what could be called college while I too I think could be called a senior but we honestly dont feel the age difference and I dont the the 2 of u do too right? ;) I'm not sure though
     
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    jessvj

    jessvj Newbie

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    damn you hit the head right on the nail!!!!!! How old are you by the way, if you don't mind me asking?
     
    #7 jessvj, Sep 19, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2010
  8. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    HAHAHAHA I'm 19 this year hahah. btw, I'm not sure for your case, but for me, I should have asked a lottttt earlier. she liked me a lot more back then but I was too blind to read the signs. or rather, thought that i was seeing things. then I just let it hang there and when i eventually told her, it was too late. she still had feelings but they were slowly becoming the friends feeling :/ so she decided not to do anything and stay friends. which was horrible cos the next few months were hell. first 1 I went crazy and she graduated and moved on to college so we had even less contact which i suppose in a way was good. but eventually, I recently asked her out. like last week. I'm meeting her later ;) though I'm curious of her motives as I'm going overseas for an intership for 2 months soon and she could be going out with me only 'cos I'm going away for so long. or she could be serious. planning to ask her later haha
     
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    jessvj

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    What I would give to be 19, good for you man, same here, everytime she goes away I lose myself, I get crazy and do things that are incredible, that had I never met her I would never achieve, for example my gpa when I was a freshman was prob like 2.0, yet when she left for college I was entering my junior year, by the end of second semester I had a gpa of 4.5, now that I look back at it, shes the reason I want to go to college, and she always asks me which one I want to go to and she really wants me to go to her's, her mom even talked to her about me splitting an apartment with her, which I hope she goes for, but still, she left Sunday and I can't stop thinking about her, I think I'm in love.
     
  10. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    hey man, just go for it. I waited too long. I just came back from watching a movie with her. turns out my friend was right ;) she was going out with me cos i was going overseas. i'm ok though. honestly, feels like a great big loads been lifted off me. this has been dying and sparking back for the past few months I nearly went crazy. finally a closure which is nice. dont wait man. I dont wanna see another me. sometimes making mistakes is essential to learn. like me. sometimes those mistakes should also be shared so that others dont make the same ones ;) just go for it man :)
     
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    jessvj

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    shes 200 miles away, shes coming back in December for break, I'll ask her then
     
    #11 jessvj, Sep 21, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2010
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    jessvj

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    Hey, Gray Wolf?
     
  13. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    [​IMG]

    Etymology

    twitter + pated, i.e., having one's pate (head) in a twitter (confused). First seen in the Disney movie Bambi.
    [edit] Adjective

    twitterpated (comparative more twitterpated, superlative most twitterpated)

    1. Smitten or love-struck.
     
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    Gloaming and bagelriffic like this.
  14. Gloaming

    Gloaming Regular Poster

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    For me, I have almost the opposite problem. When someone has really made an impression on me, I start worrying too much if what I'm saying "sounds cool" and I end up just saying a bunch of stupid cliches and being afraid to voice strong opinions. For me, it's all about not knowing my boundaries with girls I don't know too well (and maybe a bunch of imprinting of many unrequited loves, boooo!); if I like a girl but I don't know how she sees me, I have a real hard time initiating conversation about feelings or anything else. Is this the near-autism type of sheeeit we INFJ's have to deal with?! ;)~ I'm getting better at it, but just in theory I guess, haha. I guess I just feel more comfortable in my own skin, but I'm still not assertive enough to catch anyones attention whom I'd like to be with. Oh well, I'll get it..
     
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    #14 Gloaming, Sep 30, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2010
  15. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    yeah? whassup? haha sorry havent been round much
     
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    jessvj

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    What's the best way to maintain someone's attention, preferably for hours. Srry haven't been on in awhile.
     
  17. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    HAHA that one you should ask the older members in here man haha I also seem to be only able to maintain such attention with someone i'm close with. to constantly talk for hours would have to mean we also are that close and that most topics are ok to talk about. myself I have only been able to do with with no more than 5 people so I'm not able to help much :/

    how about just being yourself and just says what comes into your mind?
     
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    jessvj

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    yhea, I do tend to hide a majority of myself and for some reason I seem to develop a random version of Asperger's Syndrome when I talk to her, where I get really clumsy, quiet, and lack empathy (when I really do feel it, I never say anything, it pisses me off, lol) I don't want to come off as rude, I just can't stop it......
     
  19. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    u have to relax man hahahah it will help :) I too hide most of myself haha I probe the person i wanna be at least a friend with, see where the boundaries are, see their values etc. once i decide its more or less ok, i can feel comfortable :) then again i always probe my friends haha ok sounds wrong..
     
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    jessvj

    jessvj Newbie

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    lol
     

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