When does a girl become a woman (or a boy become a man?) | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

When does a girl become a woman (or a boy become a man?)

What if it's not your parent's money, but your own? Supposed you worked in media as a actor/celeb and you've earned beaucoup bucks? Do you then not have the right to take full responsibility for yourself even if you are still quite young?

Society says no.
 
Well the traditional idea without 1 size fits all metrics is that you become a man or woman when you are able to make informed and educated decisions about what is best for you.

Anyone can be deceived but there is a certain point where the adolescent doesn't have the capacity to understand what is best, such as an older man taking advantage of a woman that is in emotional turmoil in her mid teens and doesn't have a chance in hell of understanding what is best for her because she simply seeks repreive from this crazy state she is in.

Eventually, most of us pass that barrier and start to get a better idea about what is best in terms of personal decisions. However, outside of hindsight it seems nearly impossible to determine when that point actually occurs for that individual.

The US has determined that 18 is perhaps not the correct age for everyone but the safest; the majority of people at that point in their life have at least the capacity to make a robust decision involving multiple factors.
 
The ability to be self-sufficient, to be able to negotiate working and keeping a place to live. Also, the ability to be a source of support for others.
 
So, if a 12-year old is self sufficient and self sustaining should he be considered a man and be allowed to live on his own. etc.?
I don't think that the definition of manhood ought to be refined simply because it's hard to enforce as a law.

I agree with NeverAmI.
 
My ultimate point was that being self sufficient is not enough to deem someone a man or woman, because if it was the sole criteria for determining whether someone is mature enough and should be considered a man or woman, then a child of 12 who could financially support themselves should technically have the right to be called a man and treated as such.
 
My ultimate point was that being self sufficient is not enough to deem someone a man or woman, because if it was the sole criteria for determining whether someone is mature enough and should be considered a man or woman, then a child of 12 who could financially support themselves should technically have the right to be called a man and treated as such.


Well, if they were mentally mature enough to be self-sufficient in all aspects of the term then I would say that is fine, but puberty has not yet come and that throws everything out of whack so it throws that sort of impending unknown variable into the equation and it is generally assumed that no one is quite well-enough prepared for those physical and emotional changes.
 
I believe a person is a woman/man when they have reached puberty.I believe they have reached adulthood when they pay their own bills, have their own pad; etc. Even if you were thirteen and you paid ALL of your bills and were no longer financially dependent upon anyone, I would say that makes you an adult. Since, it's highly unlikely that at that age anyone is going to be capable of that, I would say on average 15+ is when people begin to be capable of developing their adulthood to it's full potential.
 
When THEY pay the bills, or are contributing a significant amount of help to the household.
 
I don't think it's BAM manhood or womanhood like a brick wall. People change differently and at different paces, and nobody wakes up the next morning with responsibility and a deeper voice.

It happens slowly over time, with small steps along the way that show outside what we try to measure inside.

It's also all in the mind, I think. You can have someone who is self-sufficient, been through puberty, and well over any age limit but still acts and thinks like a 16 year old.

For some, this is a good thing. I hope I'll always remain a child at heart, in the ways that matter.
 
A girl becomes a woman when she learns to cook. And... I can't think of any good standards for when boys become men, so I guess a boy becomes a man when he learns to cook too.
 
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My family pretty much believes that a girl becomes a woman only when she gets married, and that single women must stay in their father's home, but they also believe in arranged marriages. :/

I wouldn't go to that extreme, but to me the average undergrad age person is not an adult. There are, of course, exceptions, based often on how well their parents prepared them to be an adult.

While US society often has a cut-and-dry age of 18 as the age where one gains adult responsibility, I believe our culture would be much better off if the voting age was back to its original age of 21, and if teenagers were given the responsibilities they had even two generations ago.

In short, while I see adulthood as something that you grow into, I believe that parents should lessen the rules and restrictions they would have when the child was a teenager on grown children at home, so the person can grow in trustworthiness, but that they aren't really adults unless they have moved out of the home, unless they're paying the going rate for rent on their bedroom and their portion of the food, and are otherwise self sufficient.

I understand that from time to time even if money had been carefully used, that there might not be enough to cover needs, and I believe that parents should, in that case, help out if absolutely needed (and if they had seen that they didn't waste money on a Nintendo Wii or whatever if they had to buy groceries), but in general should let the young person live with their own choices if their money was not well managed.
 
The answer is blowing in the wind somewhere.

In all honesty, I don't know. I like to see myself as a man in some regards, but it also sounds weird to me. I don't feel like an adult, what ever that is supposed to feel like. I don't think there is one point where someone is an adult, but rather it's a thing to be grown into. I don't think one day you wake up and realize you're an adult. I think it's different for everyone. I'd say it falls somewhere between the age of graduation from high school (even though you still have a lot of growing to do) to death (I'm convinced some people never become functioning adults) All I know is I never want to grow up completely. Sounds boring.

I believe our culture would be much better off if the voting age was back to its original age of 21
I'll bite. Why do you say this?
 
I say this because it gives people three more years to mature and discover what being an adult in society is about. After they have been given time to see how the current society and its laws really work, the better they will be able to make informed decisions about what is best for their society.

I won't call myself "conservative" but I will say that often times, the majority of 18 year olds vote for who is most POPULAR or sometimes even who is better looking. Many don't take the time to really explore the candidate's background or viewpoints, and just vote for that person because everyone else they know (usually people their age) is.

Again, I will say that I consider myself neither conservative nor liberal... I honestly didn't care for either major presidential candidate in the last US election.
 
I won't call myself "conservative" but I will say that often times, the majority of 18 year olds vote for who is most POPULAR or sometimes even who is better looking. Many don't take the time to really explore the candidate's background or viewpoints, and just vote for that person because everyone else they know (usually people their age) is.
I'd say this can and does go for any age group, and the younger voters have the lowest turn out. However, I don't want to derail this thread. I might make a new one on this subject. Thanks!
 
They become adults when they are capable of: begetting and raising their own children well.

This requires physical maturity/development and emotional maturity/development.
 
When the economic conditions are right.
See: Industrial Revolution.
 
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I would say it is maturity...when someone begins making good decisions beyond their years.
In earlier years, America had an 8 yr old ambassador. I also read stories about frontier boys and girls that had to raise and care for families after their parent/s died.
 
Well, there's only one answer to this question.
The age the culture you're in has set as a limit.
Since the stages of (wo)manhood are all cultural definitions.
 
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