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Discussion in 'History, Travel, and Culture' started by Reason, Sep 2, 2019.
Spoiler: English translation. Don't click if you're easily offended.I am Willem the Silent, although that is a nickname If you mess with my people, I'll break in through your kitchen window And fuck your mother, sniff powder, take her on vacation Catholic or Protestant, bow down to my tolerance Mental molestation of intolerant loungers Spices are so hot, I have to masturbate with oven gloves Swearing with diseases is my tradition, you tuberculosishead I bake them browner than a Zulu with shoe polish on ¡Hola Spanjolen !, I am not done with you yet If I smell paella one more time I will enforce your ass I drown your galleon, now we're rid of that scum If you love Jesus so much, why don't you suck his cross (Have mercy on my soul) I'm the iconic-oclasm, cut your throat, it's an honor Your harvest will fail, I camouflage myself like a mealworm Like an Egyptian plague, preach out in the field, Gigantic collar, reform from Prague to The Hague See the Spaniards shaking, but not because it's colder Piss your pants, stay nice and warm cause Willem is the stadholder Dare to dance the flamenco and I'll fuck your flamingo Larger balls than Lingo, beating you harder than Ringo The Spanish Empire, powerful? Don't make me laugh bitch Anyone can handle Indians if you give them the smallpox Your soldiers are such cowards, I call them the pussycorps You own: two monasteries and one Aztec hut village Philip the second, no idea how recognize you Economy consists of agriculture, animal husbandry and inbreeding Jews are not forbidden here, welcome Huguenots Come in as Nigel de Jong, your legs straight Hey Alva, bull fucker, you've lost your glasses Can you hear me or do I have to drill holes in your ears Bring your mother, sister and daughter, I conquer their hearts Am I in Civilization? Then you better restart Hey, what's going on here? I am Balthasar Gerards, nobody is spared my resentment I've come for you Willem, Philip has declared you an outlaw I have a loaded gun, you have a prize on your head I'll punish you for your betrayal of the Roman faith (Auw) Oh, excuse me, I'm trying to speak here But a frog-licking fagot is trying to interrupt me Dogs like you I put to sleep, just like PETA does I have four women, you're a virgin beta cuck You have such a dull head, I am dying of boredom I will 'rip' you in peace, enjoy your division! Nails under your nails, hot poker in your ass What was that? I can't hear you with your balls in your mouth Bullet holes in the wall, Duytchen blood on the wall, Just a normal day for the Father of the Fatherland If you want me to die, I look twice as alive Mow down all my haters like it's 1572 My beat is so fresh, normies call it a tulip bulb Do you get it? 'Beet as in tuber', I thought it was funny (lol) I will enforce, you'll jerk off on Pornhub Less blood flow to your head than Egmond and Horne Effective as Ebola, you fight against windmills Final result 5-1, and that penalty was stolen My raps are ready-made, that's why I declare I see nothing but a finely dressed barbarian I bury you like in Pompeii, save a bone for pompey Screw the girl with the pearl, without clothes but with clogs We have a new position, the deed of Abjuration Delftblue stroopwafels as my new paving Your lion looks foolish (wow), I tamed him myself (wow) My memes are so moist, people call me a Shamwow For people and country, better show some respect Top kek, connoisseur, Silent Willem checking out
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I do like pineapple in a pizza, but clearly this was a historic moment.
Here's a few I always remember from the First Crusade. The People's Crusade was fucking nuts generally (for instance, they carried out 'the first Holocaust' of Jews in Europe on the way to the damn Crusade), but on one occasion a dispute over the price of a pair of shoes outside the city of Zemun led to a riot, which lead to an assault on the city and the deaths of four thousand Hungarians. I dunno if he bought the shoes. There was also the time where word got around that a particular goose had become possessed by the holy spirit, and a 'crusade' gathered to follow it around Europe. They didn't get very far. EDIT: Oh, here: http://themedievalworld.blogspot.com/2010/05/goose-who-led-crusade-well-sort-of.html I also liked the mad priest who, upon running out of arrows to fire at the Greeks, resorted to pelting them with biscuits instead.
The great amazon fire of 2020, used to do warehouse work myself and not the least bit surprised as Amazon has one of the worst reputations by far for employee health and safety. Soundtrack
Medieval poets used to draw giant monster snails doing battle against knights and men-at-arms. Turns out, everyone hated the Lombards because they were slimy and tricky people, so they began roasting them by giving them slugsonas.
Wait, how do you know this? What's the source?