What traits are you looking for in a partner? | INFJ Forum

What traits are you looking for in a partner?

TinyBubbles

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Oct 27, 2009
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what qualities attract you in a partner (or potential partner)? inspired by the 'who's your dream guy' thread :p

for me sense of humor is no.1, and open mindedness, and a caring soul. intelligence is up there too, but it's less important. good looks are nice too, but not everything.
 
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1. Intelligence
2. A cute face I can always appreciate
3. A sense of humour (aka laughs with my jokes)
4. Witty
5. Likes to cuddle from time to time ;D
6. Can get emotional, isn't unstable though. Like, does not get all moody all of a sudden. I'd hate that shit.
 
positive attitude, yet openly honest

not looking
 
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Mild unusualness or eccentricity is probably the biggest attention getter: usually along with this comes a lower degree of average societal expectation, and open-mindedness (not always) and these by themselves are highly attractive. Intelligence is good too, but I'm usually more interested in someone who is thoughtful and/or likes discussing or learning concepts. I suppose this is cerebral-ness. All this applies to friendships too, and I put it here because I'd want my partner to be someone I could also consider a good friend.

However, I actually like girls who have a silly sense of humor and are rather playful. This tends to come with an entirely different disposition regarding other aspects of life though, so I'm not so sure I'd seek out someone who was like this. Whether in the long term I would prefer a more serious partner is unclear.

Oh, and of course, attractiveness (particularly in the face) plays a large factor.
 
I'm not actually looking because I'm not ready for a relationship right now, but if I were, I'd say:


  • Playful
  • Creative
  • Optimistic
  • Talented
  • Compassionate
  • Strange
  • Delighted by strangeness

:m168:
 
Someone who is low-key and a great listener, and someone who doesn't mind sitting in all evening doing not but talking about life and love. Intelligence I like, but not the academic kind. Hell, I don't care if you never pick up a book in your life. I just want my partner to have emotional intelligence: to be able to acknowledge and accept everything they feel, and be open about it. Someone who can see the whole picture and new ideas without a cloud of preconceived moral standards or set ways clouding their vision. I'd like someone who I didn't feel the need to impress all the time to keep them interested.

Initial attraction weighs heavily as well, both their appearance and how they carry themselves. I like someone who takes care of themselves, and a nice physical appearance signifies that for me. :tongue:
 
I don't know what I am looking for.

I know what I want from a relationship, but I am not certain on what type of person it takes to ultimately deliver a stable relationship with me in the long-run.

Even discussing relationship stability likely indicates that this person should be past 30, when I am only 26. I'm at this strange place where people are either way more mature than me, or way less mature than me. I exist in this maturity twilight where I can be quite child-like at times in playfulness and humor, but on the other hand, in my beliefs, commitments and convictions I am more mature than people twenty years my senior. It's so extremely difficult to reconcile this in life because it seemingly does not fit at all.
 
Someone I can joke around with, without the fear of insulting him. Honesty, integrity, compassion and intelligence and just... depth (aka, someone who can look past the cover and see what's inside a person). Cute face is very much a bonus - but that's all it is. A bonus. As long as he has a good personality, that's fair.

I hate/loathe/despise, jealous, possessive, over-protective brutes who can't live without knowing where his girlfriend is. Arrrggh.
 
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*Modesty

*Cuteness(not entirely sure how to quantify this)

*Christian

*a mutual need for one another

*not overly emotional but not cold and calculating

*I need some one who will stand behind me, I need reassurance that I'm competent and capable of handling a situation.

*Has to be willing to follow(this is huge, I'll go anywhere and do anything for the ones I love. But I need the same from those who love me)




I feel bad for any one who falls in love with me.
 
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nice pretty forgiving
 
Ni and attractive, but who really knows what cards life will deal me in this department. i like to think i'm flexible but as of right now this is ideal.
 
Confidence without overweening pride. I have a strong personality and don't do well with really laid back kind of guys.
 
Intelligence is good too, but I'm usually more interested in someone who is thoughtful and/or likes discussing or learning concepts.

Yeah, thoughtful and considerate is good.

Someone who is low-key and a great listener, . . . . I'd like someone who I didn't feel the need to impress all the time to keep them interested.

This^^^ and i can't stress it enough.

... depth (aka, someone who can look past the cover and see what's inside a person).

Yeah, but i'd describe it as depth of understanding, rather than a sense of knowing.

*a mutual need for one another

*not overly emotional but not cold and calculating

*I need some one who will stand behind me, I need reassurance that I'm competent and capable of handling a situation.

*Has to be willing to follow(this is huge, I'll go anywhere and do anything for the ones I love. But I need the same from those who love me)

I feel bad for any one who falls in love with me.

Very similar.
 
A MASSIVE penis















;3
 
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I am looking for a human being with unique individual traits that are consistent with two things:

Unique human traits that are compatible with my own unique human traits

and

Time to celebrate eahc others unique human traits together.
 
When I was in teens I formulated that I am looking for someone who has greater degree of self-awareness than most of the people I have met who didn't seem to be self-aware at all. I felt this in myself and was seeking somebody who would resonate on same frequency. Little did I know that it would take another INFJ which would be like 1 out of like 80 guys to meet ;P After which I have fallen in love with a particular author, who is dead now, who was typed as INFP. To this day retained a fascination with INFPs for the depth of emotion that they can phrase and display. So I guess emotional depth was the second criteria.

Then into early-mid 20s I found I have started to react to "i'm awesome, look at what a jerk I am" type of guys. With discovery of MBTI I figured those must be the Ti dom/auxiliary types. Through painful experience I have also learned to judge people by their actions not their words at that point. Words can lie, but actions are a clear physical representation of what is true. So I flirted with these jerk-type guys but kept them at arm's length and went for the guys who with their actions demonstrated their good intent and positive predisposition to me. So I guess service is the third criteria.
 
Human decency.
A good moral standing.
Great oral hygiene.


My list is quite long these are just my top three.
 
Well, okay, not ALL of them are personality traits...
 
Hmm;

  • Creative with a sense of wonder not only about the world, but other worlds (real or imagined) as well
  • Closer to the middle in terms of E vs. I such that they drag me out occasionally, but are just as satisfied just around me and/or close friends... at the very least, won't think something is wrong with my not liking busy places and crowds
  • Tomboyish enough not to be afraid to dig in the dirt for gemstones or fish around in a pond for frogs; loves to get out into the wilderness
  • Sorry, mutual attraction is a must, lest the relationship be based instantly on a certain level of deception.
  • Must love cats