What makes you, you?

[jimtaylor]

I do not post a lot on the forums but I do read a lot of what is posted here. I noticed something interesting though and I am sure it is something that has been talked about on here; the concept of how personality is created. I see on here people who can point to certain events as huge impacts on their personality and others who just have always felt the way they do; they can't really point to any certain event that changed them, it's just a culmination of everything. I find myself being both; I can point to certain major events as having impacted who I am in a major way but at the same time I have always felt pretty much the same. I have never really changed drastically because of those things. Basically the core of who I am has remained constant, just adding layers to it. This brings me to my question; for those who are willing to share, what do you point to being the biggest impact on who you are?

At the same time I want to bring something else up because I have also noticed other patterns and that is just simply how each person on here interacts to certain events like death. Some on here act in very similar ways and if not that, they at least have a pretty similar point of view. Of course I am not suggesting we are all one in the same, just that there are similarities. It just raises the question of; how is it that so many people, raised in such different ways, come to similar conclusions without ever having met each other? Like MBTI suggests that we have preferences to how we interact in the world, are we in fact born with those?

For anyone who has been around a baby or a very young child, you can see these preferences. You have babies who cry a lot, you have babies who don

 

[Gaze]

what do you point to being the biggest impact on who you are?
- nurture - family and societal impressions and expectations more than anything else. Can't point to a "real" self outside of this.

 

[Saru Inc]

FYI people with the forums on black can't see what you're writing.


What makes me me, is my genetic make up. Same for anyone else here.

 

[jimtaylor]

FYI people with the forums on black can't see what you're writing.


What makes me me, is my genetic make up. Same for anyone else here.

That is the second time somebody has said that. I use the forum defaults????

 

[arbygil]

That is the second time somebody has said that. I use the forum defaults????

I'd say this: Try typing without changing any of the font structure or colors. Changing font structure/colors usually changes how your information posts.

People using "Black Earth" or "Dark Inferno" are seeing black-on-black, so they aren't seeing your words.

ETA: Or, maybe you're typing somewhere else, and copying/pasting the post?

 

[NuthatchXi]

Primarily nature. Nurture, too, but my sister and I have been treated the same, and have responded differently in countless circumstances, even as young children.

 

[jimtaylor]

I'd say this: Try typing without changing any of the font structure or colors. Changing font structure/colors usually changes how your information posts.

People using "Black Earth" or "Dark Inferno" are seeing black-on-black, so they aren't seeing your words.

ETA: Or, maybe you're typing somewhere else, and copying/pasting the post?

Yeah sometimes I do it in word because I am at work and then I finish the post when I get back. Is there anyway to fix it?

 

[jimtaylor]

Primarily nature. Nurture, too, but my sister and I have been treated the same, and have responded differently in countless circumstances, even as young children.

I have dealt with the same thing with many siblings and friends. Many raised in almost the same exact way but having completely different solutions. Heck looking at my family we have all different personalities;

Dad - xNTJ - very hard to decide if he is E or I
Mom - ISFJ
Oldest Sister - ESFP
Oldest brother - ENxP - again hard to decide if he is F or T
brother - ENTJ
Me - INFJ
brother - INTJ
sister - ESTP
sister - ESFJ

My older siblings and I were pretty much raised the same and my younger siblings were pretty much raised the same. What would influence so much difference between us all? I understand that once each of us started going to school we would come into contact with different things which would help shape our personalities but even before that I could tell just how different each of my younger siblings where from each other. My two youngest sisters are barely over a year apart yet are complete opposites at time. My one sister is manipulative, social, harsh, fun, and a great sales person but also in a way lacks the concept of ethics. My youngest sister is a shy girl but just loves people and doing anything for them. She would give her arm to somebody if they asked. She is completely oblivious to the evil in people. What makes them so different if not born that way?

 

[TinyBubbles]

Two prisoners look out their cell window. One sees the dirt on the window sill, the other, stars... your question is a good one Jim Taylor and it has no simple answers. Why would people in similar circumstances perceive things in such radically different ways? What makes one person different from another, if - from an outsider's point of view - they are physically experiencing the same kinds of things? One would assume that they would have the same thoughts, the same desires and fears and hopes, but like the prisoner analogy demonstrates, people really only focus on a small part of reality, and are coming to different conclusions based on this differing focus.
Perhaps genetically we're predispositioned to being more sensitive to certain stimuli than others, and are being effectively conditioned through our experiences to become more of one type of person than another - to be *aware* of and attuned to only certain things. I think the mind can't consciously grasp everything that is happening at any given moment, and so it must filter out a lot of junk, and that filtering process is basically what makes one person different from another, and not specifically (or directly) what is happening externally to either one of them. You could argue though that these sensitivities themselves originally derive from variations in the environment, which would mean who we are is *completely* environmentally dependent, but I think that's not entirely correct either.. since, in a sense, we *are* the environment.

Anyway, going back to the original idea, it would seem that people are both genetically and environmentally shaped, with the former being more fundamentally influential than the latter. I think the environment has a greater effect on us in the long term though. And as a side note, I think we as a general populace have as much effect overall on the environment as the environment has on us; we're changing it's personality too It wouldn't be what it is if we weren't who we are. I think both sides are constantly changing - in constant flux.

 

[arbygil]

Yeah sometimes I do it in word because I am at work and then I finish the post when I get back. Is there anyway to fix it?

Hmm...maybe after you complete it in Word, save as a text document rather than .doc (or under anything non-formatted). That should work. Either that, or when you paste your document, go back in and edit out all the "COLOR" formatting.

 

[MindYourHead]

FYI people with the forums on black can't see what you're writing..

When I come across it, I just highlight the text as if I am going to do a copy & paste. Then it's visible.
No biggie. I work around it. I'm the one that chose to use Black Earth after all.

 

[Milon]

This sounds like a nature/nurture discussion. I think it's both. Since I'm lazy, Google!

Yeah sometimes I do it in word because I am at work and then I finish the post when I get back. Is there anyway to fix it?

Type in Notepad. It doesn't allow formatting, so when you copy/paste it's going to be straight text.

 

[arbygil]

As to the question:

....This brings me to my question; for those who are willing to share, what do you point to being the biggest impact on who you are?

It's trite, but I'd say life has impacted who I am. From environment, to parents, to scary/unfortunate situations to joy-filled ones...they all make up "me."

At the same time I want to bring something else up because I have also noticed other patterns and that is just simply how each person on here interacts to certain events like death. Some on here act in very similar ways and if not that, they at least have a pretty similar point of view. Of course I am not suggesting we are all one in the same, just that there are similarities. It just raises the question of; how is it that so many people, raised in such different ways, come to similar conclusions without ever having met each other? Like MBTI suggests that we have preferences to how we interact in the world, are we in fact born with those?

I'd say yes; we're born with a certain set of skillsets. It's how we deal with life that makes us who we are, and similar personalities will handle life and stress similarly. No matter how stressed we are or how joyful we are, we'll tend to react similarly...it doesn't mean we'll act the exact same way, but we all have the same basic skills to either become the worst of ourselves, or the best. Or we can transcend from where we were.

For anyone who has been around a baby or a very young child, you can see these preferences. You have babies who cry a lot, you have babies who don’t cry much at all. You have babies who sleep a lot and those who don’t. You have babies that are very energetic and smile a lot; you have others that reserved and quiet. Are these all signs of the development or the beginning of personality?

I think so, yes. I think you can probably tell if a baby has preferences for things. Some babies are okay with loud noises, others are not. Some babies smile a lot, others are "thinking" babies. Some babies are giggly and personable, others hold back and watch serenely. So yes, I think we are known from our mother's womb, so to speak. I think we have the set up for personality as soon as we're born.

 

[Barnabas]

I'm a fan of the diamond theory, are personality is split into multiple facets distinct and unique depending on the situation were in and the people were around, while the sum total of these facets equal our "true" personality.

 

[MindYourHead]

I'm a fan of the diamond theory, are personality is split into multiple facets distinct and unique depending on the situation were in and the people were around, while the sum total of these facets equal our "true" personality.

I like that theory.

 

[jimtaylor]

I'm a fan of the diamond theory, are personality is split into multiple facets distinct and unique depending on the situation were in and the people were around, while the sum total of these facets equal our "true" personality.

I like that a lot too. That's really interesting.

 

[jimtaylor]

Just trying to make it so people using black earth can read my posts:


"I do not post a lot on the forums but I do read a lot of what is posted here. I noticed something interesting though and I am sure it is something that has been talked about on here; the concept of how personality is created. I see on here people who can point to certain events as huge impacts on their personality and others who just have always felt the way they do; they can't really point to any certain event that changed them, it's just a culmination of everything. I find myself being both; I can point to certain major events as having impacted who I am in a major way but at the same time I have always felt pretty much the same. I have never really changed drastically because of those things. Basically the core of who I am has remained constant, just adding layers to it. This brings me to my question; for those who are willing to share, what do you point to being the biggest impact on who you are?
At the same time I want to bring something else up because I have also noticed other patterns and that is just simply how each person on here interacts to certain events like death. Some on here act in very similar ways and if not that, they at least have a pretty similar point of view. Of course I am not suggesting we are all one in the same, just that there are similarities. It just raises the question of; how is it that so many people, raised in such different ways, come to similar conclusions without ever having met each other? Like MBTI suggests that we have preferences to how we interact in the world, are we in fact born with those?
For anyone who has been around a baby or a very young child, you can see these preferences. You have babies who cry a lot, you have babies who don

 

[Nixie]

I'm a big fan of life being a circle. Everything is inter-related. I see people composed of 4 aspects of being, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Everything in our life (what we see, what happens to us) has a component attached to these aspects. Things affect our physcial state and our physical state affects who we are. Things have impacted our intellectual aspect and our intellectual aspect impacts how we deal with the world. I hope you get the picture. It is all inter-related. Circular, not in a heirarchy. So what makes me, me is the sum total of those 4 aspects and my understanding of how those aspects work within me.

Additionally there is the idea that the inner circle represents self, I am only aware that I exist. Eventually I understand that I have parents who care for me. Then I realize that I have a family. Then I realize that I am part of a community, part of a country, part of a world. Your understanding of the 4 aspects of being is also directly related to how far your sense of identity is from your center. Think of rings in a tree--as your understanding of how truly big our circle of influcence is depends on how far out your outer ring of self is.

 

[Saru Inc]

When I come across it, I just highlight the text as if I am going to do a copy & paste. Then it's visible.
No biggie. I work around it. I'm the one that chose to use Black Earth after all.

WATCH YOUR TONE BOI BEFORE I WHIP U.


I am kidding.



But when I read your post, it came across as condescending, which I don't really appreciate. I wasn't upset at Op whatsoever, I was just simply letting him know, because highlighting colors can aggravate certain people.


I think what makes me me, is my INFP/INFJ ness. I'm ike 90% infp 5% infj, and 5% ESTJ.