What makes you "relate" to other people?

[Gaze]

I've been noticing how randomly I notice and relate to people.

I click with people I have nothing in common with. I feel connected to people I don't have any relationship with, and I understand things about people I shouldn't be able to understand.

Do you notice any patterns in what connects you to other people or what allows you to relate to other people whether friends, family, strangers, etc.?

 

[aerosol]

this is about me, isn't it?

 

[Gaze]

this is about me, isn't it?

 

[This]

Yes, It's inconsistent though. Some people I will notice significantly more than others.

 

[Radiantshadow]

Mutuality.
We all share the same existence,
endure loss and a plethora of other experiences.
There is a kinship there that not everyone recognizes.
There is a society of People, and a society of I - not much difference between the two.

 

[Gaze]

Yes, It's inconsistent though. Some people I will notice significantly more than others.

But why do you think you notice them? [MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION]

 

[not sure]

Shared ideals, dreams, experiences and difficulties usually provide grounds to relate to others.

 

[Diana]

ah... the great threadstarter has returned

 

[This]

But why do you think you notice them? [MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION]

Hmmmm, there are really two types of people I notice. The first is the powerful commanding presence person. It's not necessarily anything they are doing it's the way they automatically assume authority when in a room. (That's not to say bossy, truly bossy people actually tend not to have this presence.)

The other is the person in the corner with their head down, I mean this metaphorically but the image is the type of presence I mean. a shy person, a little bit of an odd person.

 

[Gaze]

The other is the person in the corner with their head down, I mean this metaphorically but the image is the type of presence I mean. a shy person, a little bit of an odd person.

Yeah, quiet people get my attention. The ones who're in the shadows, who try to hide but who have a light peaking through you really can't ignore.

 

[donkeybals]

I noticed I relate the best with intuitives. I don't really feel a connection with sensors that much. Sensors remind me of robots.

 

[not sure]

Oh are we talking about people who make me take notice? People who make me angry definitely get my attention. There is a part of me that wants to understand them, another part wants to fix them and another part wants to congratulate them for not boring me.

 

[randomsomeone]

I relate to people with a degree of humility and/or lack of pretense...if they have a sense of humor it's even better. The rest I tolerate to one degree or another. I do this a lot.

 

[Resonance]

There's always something. Just imagine what life is like for them. It's not hard, especially once you get a bit of emotive data from smalltalk.

 

[Edith]

I can't relate to people who judge purely based on type. Like, "I don't like P types" or "I hate all introverts." I just cannot understand closing yourself off to a huge group of people (who will all be so different from each other, as well as to other types)... it just seems ridiculous. Regardless of the types that divide and unify us, we are still individuals and for me, like or dislike is figured out on a one-to-one basis, not an automatic shunning if they're a ESFJ for example.

I feel I relate to people who are kind, generous and helpful, but who can have a laugh and joke around at the same time. But then again, I find myself put off by people who are -only- out to have a laugh. So it's complicated.

 

[AUM]

Usually mysterious people. There's nothing more rewarding than being able to figure out a complicated personality. It's even more rewarding when you realize that they keep surprising you after thinking you had figured them out.

 

[jyrffw54]

People who have mental disorders or depression.

I don't know how exactly or what it is, but I am a magnet for those kind of people. I know the feelings associated with them, even though I have never been diagnosed with it. For some reason, I feel that they understand me the best, I feel most secure around them.

 

[bickelz]

Seems to be shared experiences with me but I also feel like I listen a lot better than I can relate.

 

[Jana]

There is no only one pattern. And sometimes there is no rules. With one group it is some sort of similarity. We understand eachother well. With other group it is some sort of "attraction" (in wider sense). I like them because I find them interseting from different reasons. They might me funny, clever, affectionate...whatever makes me happy. And third group are people with whom I relate on "gut feelings" - I simply relate to them, at first (does not happen often).

 

[VH]

There's always something. Just imagine what life is like for them. It's not hard, especially once you get a bit of emotive data from smalltalk.

I was going to post pretty much this exact sentiment, but as usual you already said what I was thinking.

I guess to get technical... Ni sees patterns. Fe focuses on people and how they feel. This creates an ability for INFJs to key in on what people are about and what makes them tick, and at the same time compels us to care about them and want to harmonize with it to a degree. Honestly, I think this is one of the standard INFJ traits. We can get along with anyone who isn't inherently hostile to us for some reason, and even then we can still get along with them to whatever degree they will let us.

As for some people standing out... as flakey as it sounds, I can tell when I meet someone if they're going to have a significant role in my life. So far, I haven't been wrong about the degree of significance (though I have made assumptions about the timeframes here and there).