This is rough reliving this so if you don't want your night ruined try not to read further. Some folks might not like the emotions or mental images it brings forth, I don't.
My sister and brother in law's rottie was impregnated by another dog, I still do not know what sort of dog it was. A little back story, my brother in law P got this dog as a puppy from a roommate. Marlie was what he named her, she was a runt and suffered from scabies I think it is called. I played with her even though she looked so rough, the poor little darling was suffering but just ate up every bit of attention she could get. She eventually made it through the scabies and grew up to be a very healthy girl, I can remember so many wonderful days playing with Marley...she'd stink to high heaven some days but I'd still roll around in the dirt with her.
Anyways she got pregnant and had a litter of puppies. The puppies seemed healthy enough at first, she cared for them as best as she could. After a few days she just left them alone, all I can figure is that she sensed something was wrong with them and knew there wasn't anything she could do. I was sleeping over at their place one night and my sister woke me up and asked me to take care of them, but I asked her what was wrong? She showed me the puppies, they were still alive but they smelled horrible...rotten, maggots were in one of them crawling out of where the little guy's backbone should be. I have no clue to this day what was wrong with them, they couldn't afford a vet trip, I couldn't afford to help them out like that. So my sister was asking me to do what had to be done, the humane thing. Now P is older than me but younger than my sister, he's got a pretty big heart like me but I guess maybe my sister didn't think he could handle it emotionally...I didn't handle it very well emotionally. I'm not going to go through the whole act on here, it is way too macabre..but I didn't use poison, I took care of it manually. This is the only time I've ever taken a life and in this case it was a litter of innocent souls that should have had a better opportunity than what they got. I killed em and buried em, asked god to help them find a better life the next time around and apologized that I couldn't do more to help em live or make it easier for them to pass on. That was the hardest thing I've ever done and I think about it fairly often.
The second hardest was when my sister and brother in law moved to Alaska. They couldn't take Marley with them, she was suffering from hip dysplasia and advanced arthritis and they knew she'd just suffer even more in that cold climate. Plus they couldn't afford to ship her and I nor my parents had anyplace to keep the dog. Sadly she didn't do well with people outside this small group that she trusted, so we couldn't ask anyone to take her in for the last years of her life. So my sister decided to have her put to sleep. The hard part was sitting in the floor with Marley's head in my lap, stroking her fur and scratching her behind the ears as her soul passed on. She wasn't in any pain at that point but I damn well wished I was in a better situation to have some way to have cared for her so it wouldn't have come to this. My sister was very upset, so upset she wouldn't think of taking Marley somewhere to bury her...I offered, I thought it was the least I could do for such a wonderful companion. I'm still angry and sad over her body being treated like some piece of meat, likely burned but still...should have had some sort of ceremony.