What is love? | INFJ Forum

What is love?

One man told that love is not only what we feel, but what we would to for someone. Banal answer? Maybe...though true, I think...
 
Love, true blue, honest love is unconditional and never ending. Which means you know somebody, care about them and regardless of what they do, who they're with, and despite all of their flaws you continue to care what happens to them. It is unselfish and subject to personal expression, meaning we all show love differently.
 
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Jana said:
One man told that love is not only what we feel, but what we would to for someone. Banal answer? Maybe...though true, I think...
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Well, love is definitely more than an emotion. Emotions are like water, ever changing form. They are not stable and not completely dependable. I think a good way to measure love is one's actions towards another in times when they are not ecstatic or intoxicated by infatuation.
 
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I know once I feel love, I like to have it create a zest for every other emotion I may experience through-out the day.
It's a healthy way to cope for me at this age, I avoid heartache this way since I so easily 'fall in love' and not so easily have it returned, lol.
But what it is? All in my head, usually.
 
I think love is also a state of mind as much as it is an emotion. Being in love has been called a type of madness (I'm sure we can all say we've done things when in love that we would never have done before).
 
merrytrees said:
Can you explain that a little more?
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I feel a little childish admitting this but I feel like i've fallen 'in love' with a number of people, friends and boys. But i've gradually learned rather than floating about my day on that feeling (usually matched with high expectations) not to put all my eggs in one basket... or invest all my time and energy into one emotion because if disappointment occurs, I can take it so personally.

It took me awhile to stop focusing on the outcome, quit the comparison game in my head and start to embrace the periods where I just feel 'love', making it about my own and not JUST the other person's feelings (which I was making up in my head most of the time, anyway.)

What I was describing is being able to use the intensity of love I feel to enhance my other emotions on a day-to-day basis. Suddenly I'm just feeling more all together, love isn't on such a pedestal and if it doesn't work in my favor, i'm in a lot better shape because relations and motivations were kept upbeat with that 'zest' I mentioned -- not just this hope for requited love.

This is a toughie to even write about, definitely a moment I want to just telepathy my thoughts over to you. Ultimately, I have a hard time approaching love in the way most people do because I seem to end up with the ones who suddenly change their minds about half way down the road, offering me no reasons for the rhyme ...or ones who are just not interested but I can't shake MY feelings.

And you can bet that in whatever instance, I've long learned to keep all the above feelings private. I'm not that girl. It's a bit of a mystery, but I also keep going for goof-off dudes younger than me but if an older guy hits on me at a bar/club, I'm put-off and I even feel a little sorry for him. I've been considering volunteering and book clubs next.

I have a long time to figure this out though, thats the difference between my thinking last year and now. I hope there was some clarity to my babbling. :mhula:
 
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anomaly said:
I feel a little childish admitting this but I feel like i've fallen 'in love' with a number of people, friends and boys. But i've gradually learned rather than floating about my day on that feeling (usually matched with high expectations) not to put all my eggs in one basket... or invest all my time and energy into one emotion because if disappointment occurs, I can take it so personally.

It took me awhile to stop focusing on the outcome, quit the comparison game in my head and start to embrace the periods where I just feel 'love', making it about my own and not JUST the other person's feelings (which I was making up in my head most of the time, anyway.)

What I was describing is being able to use the intensity of love I feel to enhance my other emotions on a day-to-day basis. Suddenly I'm just feeling more all together, love isn't on such a pedestal and if it doesn't work in my favor, i'm in a lot better shape because relations and motivations were kept upbeat with that 'zest' I mentioned -- not just this hope for requited love.

This is a toughie to even write about, definitely a moment I want to just telepathy my thoughts over to you. Ultimately, I have a hard time approaching love in the way most people do because I seem to end up with the ones who suddenly change their minds about half way down the road, offering me no reasons for the rhyme ...or ones who are just not interested but I can't shake MY feelings.

And you can bet that in whatever instance, I've long learned to keep all the above feelings private. I'm not that girl. It's a bit of a mystery, but I also keep going for goof-off dudes younger than me but if an older guy hits on me at a bar/club, I'm put-off and I even feel a little sorry for him. I've been considering volunteering and book clubs next.

I have a long time to figure this out though, thats the difference between my thinking last year and now. I hope there was some clarity to my babbling. :mhula:
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No, I understand. I'm impressed. You seem very self-aware. I'm glad you clarified!

I know the whole "eggs in the basket" and the ensuing dilemma that follows...

For a long time, I'd let myself fall in love a little bit, but hold back and all the while prepare myself for the love to end.. Recently, I've just decided to say to hell with it:

"If life is pain, then I'm going to stop giving a damn and live anyway. What's the point of keeping one foot in the grave when my heart's still beating here?"

So I'm making a conscious effort not to dread my love's end, but to fully enjoy it and open myself up to being completely intimate--even if it ends--and then being content with the fact that at least I was brave enough to give it my all no matter what.
 
I don't think I have ever fallen in love before. I have felt kinships to other people, and I've had crushes before, but never anything approaching true love. I just haven't found that one person yet.

That isn't to say that I don't love people: my family and friends and so forth. But I have never found anyone to truly love romantically. I'm certainly open, but I'm not expecting the right someone to just suddenly run up and jump into my arms. It would be really simple and funny if something like that happened lol.
 
Jana said:
One man told that love is not only what we feel, but what we would to for someone. Banal answer? Maybe...though true, I think...
Click to expand...

This is true without a doubt. Sounds banal, but when you think of it, it is I think, probably one of the fundamental things about being in love...when you start to care for someone so much, that we can't help but do things for them, even when we get hurt. If you're ever in doubt of whether or not you're in love, ask yourself that question.
 
For a long time, I'd let myself fall in love a little bit, but hold back and all the while prepare myself for the love to end.. Recently, I've just decided to say to hell with it:

"If life is pain, then I'm going to stop giving a damn and live anyway. What's the point of keeping one foot in the grave when my heart's still beating here?"
Click to expand...

That's a dark path I have to be so careful of going down now, I can sense my desire for it. ...Am I quoting comic books now? Ahaha.

I really appreciate the quote, merrytrees!
 
dneecey said:
Love, true blue, honest love is unconditional and never ending. Which means you know somebody, care about them and regardless of what they do, who they're with, and despite all of their flaws you continue to care what happens to them. It is unselfish and subject to personal expression, meaning we all show love differently.
Click to expand...

I've heard it described like you know somebody is a little bit cracked, but you think they are a good egg anyways!
 
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more
What is love :m133::m144::m055:
 
merrytrees said:
Well, love is definitely more than an emotion. Emotions are like water, ever changing form. They are not stable and not completely dependable. I think a good way to measure love is one's actions towards another in times when they are not ecstatic or intoxicated by infatuation.
Click to expand...
Well said. I agree that it is important to not equate love with emotion. Emotion can serve as a useful motivation to do good things, but if it is the only motivator then it can become somewhat self serving.

In my understanding love is the choices one is willing to make in the best interest of others.
 
There are infinite forms and degrees of Love. I don't feel that Love can be encompassed in any set definition. Also, I don't see Love as a 'thing', more an act, an action, a verb rather than a noun.

As far as the love between two individuals, a Romantic love, is concerned...

Love cannot be grasped,
for there is no such thing as Love.
Love does not exist.

Love is a void,

to be filled by the rhythms
of two hearts,
to be painted in the colours
of shared dreams
born of the sacred breaths
of a thousand whispered kisses.
 
Shadowforce said:
I've heard it described like you know somebody is a little bit cracked, but you think they are a good egg anyways!
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I've never heard that but I like it. :)

I can't speak for everyone, but personally once I have given my complete and honest love to someone, I can never take it back, no matter the hurt or the pain loving a person might cause me. I will always care, always think of them, always hope for them, and always want the best for them, even if we never see each other again.

I've been hurt numerous times by people I love, but I just can not seize to love. That being said, I don't let love be used as an excuse for someone to hurt me. You can only be hurt by someone so much before you have to walk away, no matter how much you love them. It is true, that sometimes love isn't enough.

Love can conquer all inside of an individual person. It can help you see past all flaws and to the core of an individual, but it can only do that for the one loving. I hope this makes sense but I feel like love can change the lover, not the loved. The loved has to let their own love as a lover change them. (And I don't mean lover in a romantic sense)

Did that make sense?
 
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I loved this girl when I was 7-8 years old. She was the first person I ever had romantic feelings for. I remember fantasies about being alone with her. I never told anyone, and it seemed so important to keep my love a secret. When my family moved to the other side of the country I was crushed. It was my ultimate goal to make it back to her someday and marry her. I dreamed about kissing her, having little romantic encounters, and these feelings stayed with me for years.

If we would have been able to grow up together I think we would be together now.

I silently resented my parents for ripping me away from her.

It was a deep, serious passion I had for that girl!

My desire for her set the bar really high for my future expectations of how love should feel.

There is so much more but I feel it's too private. I haven't told anyone this story in real life.
 
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