What does love mean to you? | INFJ Forum

What does love mean to you?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Meridian, Sep 2, 2010.

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  1. Meridian

    Meridian Newbie

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    Someone people I know don't believe in love as anything more than just a word that's been hyped... and the only time love means anything is when they say they 'f**king love pizza'....

    For others, love is something deeper and more meaningful than other emotions, something they are willing to get their hearts broken over and over for.

    I'm not cynical enough to believe that love doesn't exist but I don't think it's that easy to understand. Sometimes, what might be love could remain unrecognized because it doesn't adhere to the 'normal' standards set by society.

    For me, personally, it's a giving of trust, intensity, passion and the ability to just sit in each other's company and just be happy with a smile, a look or just in the knowledge that you're in close proximity with the one you love. It's knowing the worst thing about someone and till loving them in spite of it.

    It's not one straightforward concept or emotion that can be applied to just anyone and everyone in general - it's a vortex that pulls people in, regardless of who, what, where, when and all that crap. It can be destructive or it can heal. I guess you could say that I think love is a pretty dangerous emotion.

    So what does it mean to you? What do you think entails real love? And, if any of you are feeling up to sharing, how many times have you been in love? How was it?
     
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  2. the

    the Si master race.
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    putting up with shit you hate. that is what love is.
     
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  3. Barnabas

    Barnabas Time Lord

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    1 Corinthians 13

    Love

    1)If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2)If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3)If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
    4)Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5)It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6)Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7)It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8)Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9)For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10)but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11)When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12)Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

    13)And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
     
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  4. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    co-operation .. makes it happen
    co-operation .. workin together (dig it!)
     
  5. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    I think there are multiple types of love, beyond the division between eros, philos, etc.

    Love as an action is dedication.

    Love as a directional feeling is connection.

    I also think we can feel love without it being directed towards anyone or anything, and that is a beautiful state of mind, something like a mellow joy.
     
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  6. magister343

    magister343 Permanent Fixture

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    I prefer the Hebrew terms for various types of love more than the Greek ones.

    The general term for love is Ahava, which can denote the feelings of love and any act meant to express these feelings.

    A much more important term for love is Chesed, often translated loving-kindness, which is really a covenantal love. This is the model of the ideal love between a husband and a wife, it is what God had for his people, and it is what he desires of us. This love is not emotional, but devotional. It is an act of the will--of the entire self, not just the conscious mind--reorienting itself to but the well-being of another above itself. It loves because it chooses to love, not because of any quality that earns love or anything that is could be gained from love. It can outlast any emotion and may even seem strongest when all emotions would say to hate instead of love, but it always seeks to restore the relationship with the other and to be able to show Ahava love. If you wish to delve into Kabbalah, Chesed is the first of the emotive sephirot. It is benevolence acting proactively, without cause. It was for Chesed that the world was created, and through Chesed that we are to play our role in making the world perfect.


    God's love is not all unconditional. Some verses make it clear that He will love those who sin no more, but these always use Avaha, never Chesed. Chesed is His very nature and will always endure, although our behavior may rob us of the blessings of His Ahava. Keeping his commandments, refraining from sin, and performing good deeds may all be thought of as our Ahava for Him, but without Chesed these acts are all empty and even insulting rather than pleasing to the Lord.
     
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    #6 magister343, Sep 2, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
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  7. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I have a simple definition for it: The opposite of hate.
    Concern for the well-being of others, wanting to uphold their dignity... Not reveling in seeing them unhappy or in destitution, and not meaning to cause them harm.
    Simplistic, and by those terms you can love anyone. I can say I love you all without even knowing you, because when it comes down to it, if I was ever in a position to help you or uplift you I would.. and under no circumstances would I purposely set out to do any of you harm. You can love strangers and acquaintances--even enemies. But maybe all this stems from the fact that I was brought up to love other people, and taught to be concerned for them, taught that I as a person was interdependent and interconnection with other people.

    That's the general love. But there are layers and different levels depending upon the closeness of the relationship.
    It all comes down to interdependently ensuring peace and well-being and survival.
    Intimate personal relationships are those you take more responsibility for and also trust that the other has your back more, too.. due to an understanding that people have limited abilities, energy, and resources to provide for and deeply care for scores of people.
     
    #7 acd, Sep 2, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2010
  8. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Love means finding someone you can't live without. Also, that being with that person makes everything better, and you don't really want to be with anyone else. I image for an E they still have their group of friends that they'd like to be with as much as their partner though.

    Not sure why everyone assumes that in love you are able to be happy with what annoys you, it more like those things that could have annoyed you don't exist now. You go "Flaws, what flaws?". Think of the burnt on cajun blackened chicken: to anyone else its a flaw on a nice piece of chicken, but if you love cajun food, it's the source of intense flavour and that chicken would be so much less without it.

    Closer-to-subject example: You may have found spontaneity to be grating if that person was just another person, but when you love them, its what makes them a more interesting and complete -- also compelling -- person and you end up enjoying the fun surprises that comes from being with them.
     
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  9. cosmicdesire

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    Love is a terrible drug i cannot seem to shake no matter how many times it drops me from suffocating heights....That goes for love of friends and family too not just those I engulf in mah deranged little world.
     
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  10. Fallen_Adalia

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    “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” -Elie Wiesel


    I think out of all explanations, this one makes the most sense to me. Most problems in the world are cause by a whole lot of folk not giving a damn cause those them who suffer aren't suffering before their eyes. There is a lack of love for your fellow man and what not.

    When you love someone you care about them so much, you put them before yourself. Its our animal instinct to survive and look out for ourselves.. Love is to care so much you change your instincts, sometimes with out even noticing you've changed.

    When you care you become more patient, more forgiving, understanding. Its just a deep level of caring.. deep enough to want to give the best parts of yourself to what ever it is you love.

    so maybe you love a sport, you love it so much you train really hard, its about dedication.

    so you love your girl, suddenly you find yourself willing to do things you wouldn't before and not expect anything in return aside from knowing you're made their day. Anything from reading up on their personality type, to participating in their hobbies or walking several miles just so you can give them a flower and make them feel special. It's all about caring about them enough to investigate their needs and then to meet them.

    Its about being mature enough to realize its your job, and you should be the best at it.

    Of course no one is perfect and sometimes you miss, love is also about being there for each other, even when you mess up a little. yet another sacrifice.

    oh and if you love someone, sometimes it doesn't even feel like a sacrifice or a job, it just feels good to be there.
     
  11. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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  12. deadred

    deadred Community Member

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    I agree with Barnabas' Biblical description of love. There are certainly many degrees and levels of love, but I strive for unconditional love. Is it really love if you put conditions on it? I don't see this in a legal or even semantic sense because there is no quid pro quo in unconditional love. How can it be love when you tell yourself internally, "if I do this, you should do that", or vice versa? Do we do something for the reason we expect the same in return, as in The Golden Rule, or do we do for others because we feel it is the right thing to do and because we want to for unselfish reasons? Why do we feel the need to change people from what they are to what we want them to be? Expectations are a true sticky wicket because they can get us in big trouble whichever way we go. Unconditional love allows us to consciously let others be who they are without putting value judgements upon them.
     
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  13. DoveAlexa

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    The problem with that is when you believe that unconditional love is the only valid love, then the very moment you feel your perfectly natural feelings come through and think you should get something, no matter what or how small, for an act or dedication within love, you will never be able to be happy, because your goal is now impossible.
    Believing there are rules which validates and unvalidates you love will lead you to never begin satisfied and thus always out of love and unhappy. In other words, take it easy, don't be too serious about it.
     
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  14. basic

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    Something that you want to keep and grow attached to, but is nonetheless impermanent whether you like it or not.
     
  15. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    No opinion.
     
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  16. Odyne

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    Hmm, I have yet to back up my opinion with experience, but when I think about it, it comes down to understanding, support, and growth for me.
     
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  17. just me

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    Thinking love and fear to be the two biggest motivators, love has to be so much more we feel yet cannot explain.
     
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  18. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    for relationships i think there's two kinds. the first kind i've heard called romantic love so i'll go with this. this could be compared with being drunk or as fergie so eloquantly phrased it love-drunk. great stuff this romantic love, it's like we put on the blinders and just enjoy ourselves, after we've gotten all the formalities out of the way of course. if put into musical context i can think of no other song that best describes this feeling than "thats amore," but only if sung by a natural italian speaking musician, none of that dean martin crap.
    eventually (a few months to a year or so) this wears off.

    phase two i will call "sustainable love" as romantic love isn't. this is kind of like saying; i have an emotional bond with you, and thast great, but you're gonna have to work with me here, its time to negotiate. and thus comes co-operation, compromise, and also working on the relationship itself to keep things hip and interesting bc it is not as self-replenishing as it was before. i've never been here so this is all speculation on this one, though i'd be willing to bet it's the more gratifying of the two as with most things that take hard work and dedication often are.
     
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  19. BlinkandThink

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    Partnership. Growing together. Mutual admiration, support, and encouragement. Bringing out the best version of the other person. Us vs. The world.

    And lots of this: [​IMG]
     
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  20. Gaze

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    Well, love is one of those things that we have to experience to truly know what it is. So, for me to define or describe it is to talk about something that doesn't currently exist. But if and when it happens, then i'll be able to say "this" is what it is. Until then, i can only imagine . . .
     
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    #20 Gaze, Sep 3, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
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