What do you go for? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

What do you go for?

What I was trying to say was is it asking too much. Someone once told me that I knew what I wanted, and another told me I set the bar too high, I really don't. Is it too much to ask for someone whose on the same grounds as I am? I'm not asking for someone better then me, I'm not even asking for someone as good as me, I just want someone who puts in an honest effort.
 
TK* said:
Hey,we don't know that! She could be brilliant. Don't be so sexist. Having big boobs doesn't automatically make you STUPID!!! LOL!
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Aria Giovanni went to Uni at San Diego for Biochemistry

Silently Honest said:
I wonder if it makes me a bit of a jerk if I go for girls that take care of themselves as much as I do myself, or at least give an effort too. And I don't mean just physically, I mean mentally and emotionally as well. I wonder if that's asking to much, because I haven't met to many single ones that do.
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Penny of Penny and Aggie
 
Silently Honest said:
What I was trying to say was is it asking too much. Someone once told me that I knew what I wanted, and another told me I set the bar too high, I really don't. Is it too much to ask for someone whose on the same grounds as I am? I'm not asking for someone better then me, I'm not even asking for someone as good as me, I just want someone who puts in an honest effort.
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I think this is quite profound, SH. And it exactly describes all I've ever wanted in a relationship, too.
 
In observation mode, I've noticed that attractive woman just think that is all they have to do be attractive. What a bore for a guy. Using assets is fine with me but not as a crutch. That's just a major turn off. Probably why I have so few women friends. My experience is that they are competitive with me, if not at first then eventually. I hate that and find it a joke and I can't handle them prunning and preening about their looks. I've probably made more female friends on this site then I have probably most of my life, come to think of it. Men don't compete...I digress.
 
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HolySmoke said:
In observation mode, I've noticed that attractive woman just think that is all they have to do be attractive. What a bore for a guy. Using assets is fine with me but not as a crutch. That's just a major turn off. Probably why I have so few women friends. My experience is that they are competitive with me, if not at first then eventually. I hate that and find it a joke and I can't handle them prunning and preening about their looks. I've probably made more female friends on this site then I have probably most of my life, come to think of it. Men don't compete...I digress.
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:fencing:
 
I like men who are:

-intelligent (book smart AND life smart) yeah, some dudes just don't have any life skills. I'm talking about the nerds who can solve pi but still live at home with their mothers...at 34.

-mature (which is why at 19 I find men over 26 soooooo very attractive)

-capable (men with no skills go into the "sucks at life" category. he has to be good at SOMETHING!)

-honest (where's love without honesty, right?)

-crazy about me (self-explanatory...he can't treat me like crap)

-confident about himself

-passionate about something

-sweet and genuine. I don't like assholes...give me the nice guys. (I'm too much of a bitch myself to have another bitch in my life to deal with, lol)

Lucky for me, my INFP boyfriend fits all of these. *swoon* I love him so much! He's my perfect soulmate. We're probably going to get married if we're still together after another year. Yayness!

*girly giggle*
 
What I was trying to say was is it asking too much. Someone once told me that I knew what I wanted, and another told me I set the bar too high, I really don't. Is it too much to ask for someone whose on the same grounds as I am? I'm not asking for someone better then me, I'm not even asking for someone as good as me, I just want someone who puts in an honest effort.
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my answer would still remain the same. bar's not too high. it's fair. it would be high, however, if you didn't take care of yourself.

beggars can't be choosers.

but you're not in that boat, so yeah. it's only fair.
 
Except, If you never beg, you can be as choosy as you want. I've not had sex in about two years now because noone matches up to my standards. That's cool though. I have a right and left hand.

I won't insult myself or another person by just "settling"
 
Shai Gar said:
Except, If you never beg, you can be as choosy as you want. I've not had sex in about two years now because noone matches up to my standards. That's cool though. I have a right and left hand.

I won't insult myself or another person by just "settling"
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That's good, but sex is taken awfully seriously around these parts and I understand that full well. I used to be extremely selective, still am, with who I will let see certain sides of me. Many people are sexually immature, so you do need to take care and look before you leap. You also should hold out for someone who will appreciate you or provide the respect you deserve. However, experience is such that you may just learn that you made a mistake with someone, but it's not be the end of the world, just part of the process.

I don't mean to give advice, Shai Gar, just consider this my simple observation. :)
 
yeah, but in a town where there's 1 girl to every 3 guys, most girls raise their expectations substancially while lowering their self-standards.

very few are worth it, those who are are dating someone.
 
Shai Gar said:
yeah, but in a town where there's 1 girl to every 3 guys, most girls raise their expectations substancially while lowering their self-standards.

very few are worth it, those who are are dating someone.
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That sucks. You gotta get out of there. Working too hard for nothing worthwhile is depressing. :mcry:
 
I know. I hope to meet some girls from somwhere around australia. Hopefully QLD.
 
HolySmoke said:
In observation mode, I've noticed that attractive woman just think that is all they have to do be attractive. What a bore for a guy. Using assets is fine with me but not as a crutch. That's just a major turn off. Probably why I have so few women friends. My experience is that they are competitive with me, if not at first then eventually. I hate that and find it a joke and I can't handle them prunning and preening about their looks. I've probably made more female friends on this site then I have probably most of my life, come to think of it. Men don't compete...I digress.
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Yes, it never fails. We had a couple we used to get together with on an ongoing basis and at first it was fun. Then she wanted to compete and it started going sour. I even told her point blank, "I don't compete!" I told her she should be grateful to have a friend who wasn't interested in competition. But she didn't listen and tried all kinds of methods to make me compete. I got tired of it and we ended the friendship. When she asked my husband why we didn't want to get together he told her she was too competitive and all she said was, "oh." And that was it. Why do they do it?? Drives me nuts!
 
I went to a school that had a 4 to 1 ratio of girls to guys and one of the top school for best looking women in the country. The guys got so full themselves that I made myself simply untouchable and eventually dated a really smart, hot guy from another school. Not a tease, didn't even flirt, just unavailable. Tuned out. Loner. Never did the frat party thing, etc. Always just left town on the weekends. Hated college.

Edit : You're better off staying your own hands. lol.
 
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sumone said:
Yes, it never fails...Why do they do it?? Drives me nuts!
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I don't know. A similar thing is happening with a friend right now. I think we can get through it, but when you start holding yourself back from rolling your eyes, that is a real problem...a sign of contempt. I mean can we please get past talking about how so and so reacted to you and start talking about business or something of value.

Meanwhile my previous thread is making a bit of an arse out of me. :ml:

Self-proclaimed hypocrite. :mD:
 
Shai Gar said:
Except, If you never beg, you can be as choosy as you want. I've not had sex in about two years now because noone matches up to my standards. That's cool though. I have a right and left hand.

I won't insult myself or another person by just "settling"
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lmao. nono i fully support that. i've told people countless times never to settle for anything less than what makes them happy.

the beggars in the context i was talking about don't necessarily have to beg to be beggars :). they're the type of guys who sit around drenched in oily chips and obnoxiousness, rating girls who wouldn't give them a second glance from 1-10. :mlight:
 
Shai Gar said:
I know. I hope to meet some girls from somwhere around australia. Hopefully QLD.
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Why Queensland in particular? There are plenty of great girls all over the country. Just curious, that's all.
 
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