Was this INFJ not into me? | INFJ Forum

Was this INFJ not into me?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by QWERTIE, Jun 15, 2009.

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  1. QWERTIE

    QWERTIE Newbie

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    Ok, first of all I should say hello since it is my first post on here, so hey! I'm an INTP and I just got back from a first date with an INFJ. We have been talking/texting for about two weeks and have meet up on campus one other time when she was working, but this was our first actual date. She had already made it known that she thought I was interesting and I told her I thought she was cool and everything.

    Ok, so we meet up at a coffee place and she is like really hyper, which I see as a good sign and that she's possibly nervous. So we continue to talk for about an hour and a half then head out to a movie. When she is in the theater, she seemed to become much more shy as other people were around. We talked a little during the movie, and then when it was over I drove her back to her car. When we got back to the parking lot, she already had her keys in her hand and was trying to unlock the door. She unlocked it and gave me a quick goodbye hug and seemed to sprint to her car. This left me extremely confused. Did this date go bad or could she have just been really nervous?
     
    #1 QWERTIE, Jun 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  2. Koba

    Koba Community Member

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    How on earth are we supposed to know?

    If someo
    ne is very nervous around people, they could act that way. Hugging someone who makes you uncomfortalble would also be very unnusual.

    I thi
    nk you should just assume it went well for the time being. Get more info over time.
     
    #2 Koba, Jun 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  3. J. Cardigan

    J. Cardigan Community Member

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    She was probably nervous. Try to go out with her again and see where things go.
     
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  4. OP
    QWERTIE

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    Thanks guys. I just hope I didn't blow it or something.
     
  5. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    There is no way to tell. She might have had something else on her mind entirely.

    The most telling thing will be if she wants to go out with you again.
     
  6. OP
    QWERTIE

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    I just got a text from her saying she had a 'great time.' That's a relief. I like INFJs a lot but they are still so confusing to me. Haha. I had an INFJ ex, and I thought I had you guys figured out but I guess not lol.
     
  7. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    Yup I act very much like that when I first meet someone. Simple nervousness and fear of overstepping bounds. I would venture to guess that her head is SWIMMING with questions and "what if's". Make sure you don't appear distant.
     
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  8. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    How does everyone know everyone's type? How do you know she's infj?

    Anyway. She could either like you and be very shy. I do lots of spastic sprinting away and awkward goodbyes if I like someone after a date...
    Or she could not.
    Sorry if that doesn't help you very much. haha. See if she talks to you again. It's probably too soon to tell anything yet, anyway.
     
  9. Zero Angel

    Zero Angel Permanent Fixture

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    As was said before, it's possible she is just nervous/skittish by nature. You really need to go on more outings to truly find out if she's into you. A big clue: if she agrees to go on any more outings with you then that's definitely a good sign.
     
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    #9 Zero Angel, Jun 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  10. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Well I can't read minds mind you. I can say from what prescious little we had to go on that the chick sounded rather nervous .

    Try a second date?

    Luck

    :mhula:
     
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  11. OP
    QWERTIE

    QWERTIE Newbie

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    I'm about 95% sure she's INFJ. I've become good at typing people quickly and found a way to bring up asking about her 4 preferences. Going off of that I basically brought up gut feelings about things and she pretty much explained how her Ni works to me.
     
  12. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    Sounds like she didn't know how to close the date and so she bailed out. She probably felt embarrassed. Of course, this is all Ni guesswork. :tongue:
     
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  13. Hinsoog

    Hinsoog Community Member

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    Now, I'm a male INFJ, but if I could find a female INTP that I was attracted to, I think I would go crazy. I really believe that there is just something that works, and works really really well about INFJ-INTP pairings(speaking from experience with a close male INTP friend, which could mean the experience is not exemplary of that kind of relationship). Now, thinking over this I have two perspectives I feel to offer. First, despite how excited I would feel to find that, I think that as far as a firt-date would go for me(again, I'm a male INFJ), I think I would also be excited to get out of that first-date experience in its humble and idyllic form, and run off to stir around about the experience in my own mind with high hopes. Of course I can't really know.

    Second, knowing my male INTP friend though, he is always pretty obsessive about what to expect and when to expect, and it could be that the INFJ in some way caught wind of that and needed to get away from it as though it were a clausterphobic feeling. Now that's a pretty threatening idea in terms of harnessing her attraction, but, it's a difficult problem to get past.

    Anyway, I think I can say that I really feel for you, and just try to temper those expectations and just show her that beautiful INTP brain.
     
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  14. amplified83

    amplified83 Regular Poster

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    I do agree in that NF male-NT female does seem to work. However, the key to those relationships is that both sides be open to communication. For example, I was actually involved with an INTP girl who unfortunately could not make certain decisions which ended up wrecking me emotionally. However, there was another INxP who I got along great with. One of my best female friends is an INTJ, and she and I just "get" each other.

    My advice to Qwertie here is the same as the others': take her out on another date, and see what happens. The "i had a great time" text is her way of telling you that she wants to see you again without having to get out of her comfort zone. I know that I'm kinda nervous every time I'm on a first date. However, I soon warm up after the first few tense minutes. However, I'm just saying this as an INFJ male. Good luck!
     
  15. Whitefire89

    Whitefire89 Community Member

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    I dont know but, i mean it SEEMS she got nervous around others, but...idk why to me that just doesnt completely fit.

    to me--:m123:SOMEONE was in that crowd to make her freak out like that!

    A dad, an X, or a friend even.

    im not saying take My advice for i do Tend to look at the negative but, im just saying it sounds like a certain SOMEONE was there to freak her out.
     
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  16. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

  17. Koba

    Koba Community Member

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    >_> Some people really do get very nervous around groups.
     
  18. secretsmile

    secretsmile Regular Poster

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    LOL! Your posts generally crack me up. This one included.

    First...AWWWWWW you're SO INTP! So cute. Your INTPness is just oozing all over your post, haha. Second, hyperness is usually a good sign. I am that way when I feel comfortable with someone. Granted, a first date situation IS a little too much for me, so she may have been exhibiting some nervousness as well.

    I was very comfortable with my husband (INTP) when I first met him, pretty much right off the bat. I distinctly remember ending up in a "date" scenario and being hyper but a little more jumpy/nervous than I would normally be in a group setting with him.

    As for the hug, I would NEVER hug someone I was put off by. I remember being on bad dates with guys before my husband and if I didn't like them, I made it extremely obvious. And there was no contact after the date. So the fact that she already texted you is a good sign.

    For the record, if you are a typical INTP, she is probably totally confused by you. My husband left me clueless and wondering what the hell was going on in his head sometimes (in the beginning of our 'courtship').

    Anyway, I think it probably went well. Remember that she might need affirmation and assurance from you that the date went well and that you are in fact still into her. You guys aren't always easy to read, at least until you've fallen in love, then you're puppy dogs. :p
     
  19. Heliwyr

    Heliwyr Newbie

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    I totally did that on my first date with my current boyfriend. I was really very nervous. He reacted the same way you did We went to a gallery hop and the whole evening was spent around a number of people and I was very quick on the goodbye. The next date we went on was a walk through a wildlife reserve and I felt far more at ease because there weren't any people around and being outside in nature calms me.
     
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