trapped in a relationship | INFJ Forum

trapped in a relationship

denkster06

denkster06

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Jun 11, 2010
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lets just say i have a friend named A, who has been in a relationship with B for a year and some months. B has never been happier to want to spend the rest of their life with A, while A does love B, but feels like he/she should be trying other letters (c, d, e, f) while he/she still has youth. even though B is perfect for A and does EVERYTHING in the world, A feels like he/she will be unhappy forever but B is an amazing person and doesn't deserve to be hurt.

what should A do?
 
This A person needs to do some soul searching. I can understand the want to jump around and get a good idea of the playing field before settling down particulary at a young age. However, not everyone needs to. The fact that this person is expressing an urge says that it would be in their best interest. Also the fact that it has come into question says that this person is not truly in love completely enough and doesn't see their partner as perfect despite what is said.
 
I agree with indigo. Sounds like A needs to be honest with B before there is another couple of years spent in a relationship that A does not want to be in.
 
efromm said:
I agree with indigo. Sounds like A needs to be honest with B before there is another couple of years spent in a relationship that A does not want to be in.
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I agree with both Indigo and efromm and I'd like to add another thought.
B should let A go! ASAP Adios Amigo Goodbye Have a Nice Life and so on. Not in a mean or "I hate you for not loving me the most" kind of way. But in a "I'm your best friend also" kind of way. Do you know what I mean?
'Twill be painful for B - but B will gain power for themselves by doing this. A will get a good dose of reality. Everybody wins.
 
I agree completely with all said. Its better to get to this ASAP also. Approach A first though. I wouldn't have you telling B to leave the guy right away, as you might just be putting a monkey wrench in the works when it could work out if A decided the thought of leaving B finally kicked his ass into the relationship fully. If you tell B, they might lose faith in A when they finally deserve it.
 
Honestly? A sounds ridiculous.
It's possible that A's fickleness will pass, but it may be better for B if A leaves now and does not string them along.
 
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D:
The sad part is I know who A and B are! And C,D,E,F,G.....Z.

You already know my standpoint on this. B is an awesome person but will never believe anyone if you told them about A, and A is just going to keep doing A's thing because A knows A can. So someone needs to tell A "WTF" because if not A is going to end up scarring B when they finally find this all out.
 
I think A does not love B as much as B loves A.
A should let B go as A cannot give B the love B deserves.

:m093:
 
name some names. you guys are so over the top with secrecy it is redic.
 
A needs to be a man and break it off before someone gets hurt for real.
 
IndigoSensor said:
This A person needs to do some soul searching. I can understand the want to jump around and get a good idea of the playing field before settling down particulary at a young age. However, not everyone needs to. The fact that this person is expressing an urge says that it would be in their best interest. Also the fact that it has come into question says that this person is not truly in love completely enough and doesn't see their partner as perfect despite what is said.
Click to expand...
I agree with Indi very much. Life is too short to cheat each other out of real happiness. The problem comes in when there is a slight emotional attachment to someone...afraid to leave, afraid to stay... Don't cheat yourself and don't settle...Life is so very short....it can be long and depressing...especially with a person that doesn't set your heart on fire...everyday. Life is hard and marriage is hard, but that spark can help y'all through many hard times...for many years.
 
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