The deal-breaker

Siamese cat

Siamese cat

Madame Cat strikes again
MBTI
INFJ
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5w4
What were the deal-breaker situations and qualities in person, when it comes to your romantic relationships? What are those things that you just can't compromise about.

If you want to expand a bit you could also tell about the deal-breaker in other relationships that you've had, friendships and work related one.
 
This is all hypothetical:

- I couldn't be with a dumb person.
- Someone who's overweight. I'm very skinny myself, and no, I don't mean 'overweight-I-have-flesh-on-my-bones'.
- A basic form of being friendly and polite.
 
#1 Taking my freedom...
That's it if you let me be free I will be who you fell in love with. If you clog me up I am who I have become....
 
The Jester said:
This is all hypothetical:

- I couldn't be with a dumb person.
- Someone who's overweight. I'm very skinny myself, and no, I don't mean 'overweight-I-have-flesh-on-my-bones'.
- A basic form of being friendly and polite.
Click to expand...

Could you expand a bit about this one, I don't really understand? Does that mean that you couldn't be with someone who is not polite?
 
Do not be an asshole

that goes for all types of relationships
 
efromm said:
#1 Taking my freedom...
That's it if you let me be free I will be who you fell in love with. If you clog me up I am who I have become....
Click to expand...

What would you consider as clogging?

Great answer, I agree.
 
Siamese cat said:
Does that mean that you couldn't be with someone who is not polite?
Click to expand...

Yes.

Just don't yell at me when you're asking me to do something.
And if you want me to do something, ask me, don't command me.
That's basically it.
 
I really don't like being with someone who is over-controlling of me. If I feel like someone is looking over my shoulder and attempting to micro-manage my life, it won't end well.

Along the same lines, someone who is constantly stressed and negative wouldn't last long with me, I wouldn't think I would get with someone like that in the first place.
 
Clogging to me would be not letting me go out and expel my negative energy. I get backed up and that makes me cranky and unruly. I am one of those that needs to do something to recharge myself. Being alone at times is all that will work. Most women I have dated do not understand that. They think that it has something to do with them. It does not. Even when I am not dating I need free time alone. It's just who I am. And the older I get the worse it is...
 
You must practice good hygiene.
You should be capable of holding a conversation, let alone an intelligent one.
Must have some sort of life plan. Just going with it? I'm sorry, no.
I appreciate a nice vocabulary.
Has to be capable of providing his own transportation.
Cannot be controlling, must be willing to give me my space.
 
efromm said:
Even when I am not dating I need free time alone. It's just who I am. And the older I get the worse it is...
Click to expand...

Crap, if I am the same way then that means I am going to be a completely isolated hermit at 35! lol
 
Being selfish in the bedroom and elsewhere.
 
Bird said:
You must practice good hygiene.
You should be capable of holding a conversation, let alone an intelligent one.
Must have some sort of life plan. Just going with it? I'm sorry, no.
I appreciate a nice vocabulary.
Has to be capable of providing his own transportation.
Cannot be controlling, must be willing to give me my space.
Click to expand...

Don't forget good health insurance! :D
 
NeverAmI said:
Crap, if I am the same way then that means I am going to be a completely isolated hermit at 35! lol
Click to expand...

I was also like this, but when I was around 30, I started becoming more and more E again. I'm still very I, but I just want to inform that it doesn't always have to be a one-way trip to I-land.
 
NeverAmI said:
Don't forget good health insurance! :D
Click to expand...


I think I can provide my own health insurance (;
but if we're getting married; yeah he better have nice health insurance.
 
NeverAmI said:
Crap, if I am the same way then that means I am going to be a completely isolated hermit at 35! lol
Click to expand...


And that is ok! Trust me on that unless you find exactly what your looking for you will never be satisfied. Don't get me wrong I have friends. The ones I can relate too are few and far between. I am in a great relationship now. I just don't like to talk about it. And even though it's great I still need my me time. It's why I will be going out disc golfing here shortly. I need some me time..
 
mooseman said:
I was also like this, but when I was around 30, I started becoming more and more E again. I'm still very I, but I just want to inform that it doesn't always have to be a one-way trip to I-land.
Click to expand...

Actually, I wasn't hardly as introverted in Des Moines when I have a good number of intelligent people to talk to. When I worked at a fast food shop I showed many characteristics of ENTP (around people that I knew) and I drove a lot of people nuts, lol.


I don't know a whole lot of intelligent people here (IRL) that can hold a good conversation so I think that is partly to blame for my extreme introversion.
 
I had so many deal-breakers.

-kids (unless he was widowed...say no to baby mama drama)
-divorced
-racist
-homophobic
-socially conservative, in a political sense
-anti-marriage
-insisting on smoking around me or in the house
-disrespectful of my spirituality
-bossy
-constant negativity
-pill popper
-uses any illegal substances (might, might give mj a pass--i have before)
-non-monogamous
-i'm sure there's more
-oh, generally not thinking i'm wonderful (all the time)

i pretty much lucked out.
 
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