Without a specific targeted question it's always going to be a bit vague.
[PAX] SpecialEdition Reads Tarot
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I agree! I really didn't have any specific concerns. Which is great because apparently, I don't need to know!
I haven't forgot the.est of these readings. I just haven't been feeling good. I'll get to them hopefully this week .
Actually soon - I have had to put this aside momentarily as I have been feeling unwell and I don't like to do Tarot readings if my mind isn't clear enough. It feels unfair to give readings that I know are shitty because my brain isn't connecting. I am feeling almost better.
D
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I don't like your excuses
Well, if there were ever any mental health cards these would be it. Both The Moon and Nine of Swords are anxious/worry/fear cards but they're also intuitive cards. I am not sure how deep you want me to go here, so here's what I'll say...
You know who you are and what you're capable of. If you find yourself in a situation where you are not sure what direction to go or how things are going to resolve, you are going to be OK. Alternatively, if something in your past is washing up on you and is causing you some unease, or you're in a situation that reminds you of something that you've gone through that was very difficult, know that it will actually pass.
Sometimes our mental health can be like a nightmare except we don't know that we are dreaming. That can look like depression washing out the colour in our lives. It can be anxiety where everything around you feels loud and oppressive and obtrusive. It can feel like your tranquility is being violated or like you're being forced to take on a battle when you're still trying to recover from one you've already fought and won. When mental health is tested it can act like a veil between ourselves and what is actually real, but the problem is that the mental health concern is real too but we can't always see through it.
What I see with The Moon card is Shadow Work. I generally shy away from using that kind of terminology because it makes something obvious seem more ominous than it is. When I say Shadow Work what I mean is that there is something you may be facing which needs more light shone on it. Like waking up in the middle of the night and attacking the coat rack because it looks like an intruder in the home. If you were able to see it clearly, you wouldn't have attacked and cut up a perfectly good coat. The same goes with situations in life where we know there's SOMETHING there and we WANT to act, but we can't deduce what action to take because everything is shrouded in darkness. So here, the light is your intuition. If you've been feeling out of touch with it now is a good time to try to get reacquainted. Set some intentions for yourself. Know yourself. Your intuition knows you.
Now the 9 of Swords would normally suggest losing sleep over something and being extremely stressed and perhaps experiencing a lot of negative thoughts and feelings. However what I see in this card for this reading specifically is that moment where you shoot up after having a particularly bad dream, flip the lights on, have a glass a water and ask yourself "what in the fuck was THAT?" The experience of the dream is very real and even after waking up it can take some time to shake it off, but waking up is the important part. Waking up means putting aside what the dream was, getting up and walking around a bit to shake it off and restore your equilibrium and then doing what needs to be done which is rest.
So I don't know exactly what the message is here except that it's temporary and whatever you are feeling and experiencing is valid, but that you will have a "wake up" moment which will give you more intuition and insight and will help you determine a path forward.
So here we have a photo of you and your bitcoin scammer lover making a killing for using that algorithm..... lol.
But really, the Four of Wands is a celebration card and it covers a few areas mostly involving the home environment OR a milestone/achievement. It also represents stability. This is something that I see come up for people who are celebrating something that's personal to them. This could be a graduation, wedding, or even a significant birthday. It could also look like purchasing a new home or finishing renovations. This card says if you've worked hard at something then you should be proud of yourself and also bask in your success and if and when you can, celebrate with other people because they're happy for you also. People like to share in each other's achievements and will want to support you. Alternatively if you are working towards something like this then an important milestone is around the corner. Once your vision is realized, take a break to marinate in it a bit before moving on to the next thing.
Basically, you should be really happy with YOU.
You can ask a specific question and I'll pull another one. This was just a 1 for 1 exchange as you didn't really ask for anything more.
Should I pursue my neglected musical talent and lay down the technical side of things for a while, or should I do both?
Well, this one is interesting. I'm pretty sure The Emperor in reverse is you and the Six of Wands is how that manifests in your life.
I am not sure how to explain the Emperor Reversed in that it's a card about your relationship with power. That is, your personal power, how you deal with other people in power and how that has been expressed by you through your life. The Reversed Emperor can seem like two completely different people depending on what stage of life you catch them in. That is to say, in one stage The Emperor can be a dominant, inspirational leader and in another they can be domineering, controlling and may even abuse their power. Those expressions can be quite distinct. Generally, the Emperor doesn't really want to be the boss. The Emperor wants INFLUENCE and to be heard but they want to do things in their own way and on their own terms and don't want to be restricted by an official leadership position. Despite that, this person may find themselves taking on leadership qualities naturally and people may defer to them and look to them as an authority even if they aren't in that role. Emperors are leaders and how good they are at leading entirely depends on whether or not they get their personal feelings of control from empowering others to be their best, or acting in a way that instills fear and leaves people feeling completely powerless. Beyond that, The Emperor may often find they have to stand up to authority. If the boss is shitty and it's affecting other people The Reversed Emperor has no problem stepping up and setting them straight.
Obviously I don't know you extremely well but I feel you have some of these characteristics.
That leads me to the Six of Wands which is a success, recognition and self-confidence card. If you're not the type to talk a lot about your accomplishments and what you're proud of, maybe it's something you should start doing a little more. People would be interested to hear it and would very likely be cheering you on. A lot of people do things quietly and without anyone noticing and may even feel that talking about their success seems tactless and classless but it's not. This is where the more "positive" attributes of The Emperor come in. People want to feel inspired and it's not that you're obligated to inspire anyone but there is value in sharing in what it takes to get what you want and how it feels to get there. It's also good to acknowledge where things have been challenging and also, in a sense, that the hard work never really ends. I don't know if there's some project that's coming to a close or something that you have or will get recognition for, but whatever it is, it's only a stepping stone onto a greater milestone. That doesn't even have to be something in your professional life, it could be personal as well. This makes me think that there's something more coming down the line and you have to choose how you're going to show up for that.
I think you are very conscious of who you are, where you've been and where you want to go. Now it may be time to let some people in on it and let them be happy for you. Also, be happy for yourself.
You need a break. 9 of Wands reversed usually signals that it's getting very difficult to stay on task and to keep working towards some kind of goal or meeting an obligation. If you're able to clear space for exploring your musical talents then you should do that but if you can't put aside the technical stuff or you have too much going on, you may not have the mental/energetic resources to take the music on in a really meaningful way. It should be a goal to get there though. You don't want your life to be all work no play and you need to honour the part of you that wants to take on something creative if you can. How you achieve that, I'm not sure but it should absolutely be explored.
Oddly, this card is also a card that can signal some paranoia and that someone might be out to get you.... maybe some feelings about your bitcoin lover.
Oh, and I pulled a second card - 10 of Wands Reversed. Don't fuck yourself up trying to do too much because that's when things will all start falling apart, the technical stuff and the music. You want to be able to do what NEEDS to be done while leaving room for what you WANT to do. So I'd encourage you to find the balance there.
Did I miss anyone? I've tried going back through all the posts but I can't see if I missed anything.
My ex band mate had symptoms of schizophrenia. Right now I'm in a period of rest so I'll just go with playing music for now, we'll see what tomorrow brings. You've solved all my life problems woot woot!
I'm going to start charging $500 an hour for my life solving skills and will use this as a testimonial on my website.
Great Idea I will send you a cheesy photo of me smiling while I'm hiking!
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