So, how do you handle pushy family members? | INFJ Forum

So, how do you handle pushy family members?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jul 8, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    So, how do you handle pushy family members?


    And do you find that you've inherited the family trait? :m052:


     
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  2. Tulip

    Tulip Community Member

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    Stay away from them as much as possible...

    :smow:
     
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  3. athenian200

    athenian200 Protocol Droid
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    By doing what they tell me to do, and staying away from them if I can.

    Sometimes I stand up to them if they push me past my limits, and it's never pretty. Because I suck at standing up to people, and it only encourages them to crush me like a bug.
     
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  5. invisible

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    i just keep quietly asserting myself and eventually they come around.

    (or sometimes they don't, and i tell them to push off.)
     
  6. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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  7. OP
    Gaze

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    Can definitely relate. In most cases, i resort to silence - nod, show understanding for their opinion. But in the end, i realize the decision is still mine even if they strongly disagree (although it's tough to push ahead sometimes when they're not in agreement).
     
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    #7 Gaze, Jul 8, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010
  8. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

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    Depends what they are pushy about.

    I have several extremely pushy family members. When they are trying to impose their own beliefs and values on me, I usually take very firm standing that I have nothing against hearing their side but what I'll think or believe in is my own thing. When they are blatantly disregarding my habits or needs I break my usually silent demeanor and demand respect, and most but not least learning to say no is very helpful because family members sometimes think that if you are family that means that you have to step in and do favors as they need them whether that suits you at the moment or not.

    Other than that, my usual approach to resolving difficult family situations is having silent but firm attitude.

    Yea, and as Billy said, distance. It is never big enough for some family members. :D
     
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    #8 Siamese cat, Jul 8, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010
  9. athenian200

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    Well, in my case... the decision isn't exactly mine. You see, I have to live with and work for a pushy family member. That gives them a lot of control over my life, especially in this economy.

    It sucks, but it's better than being unemployed.

    Anyway, it's important to have strategies for submitting to other people outwardly without sacrificing yourself internally. We'll all encounter pushy people that we'll be forced to accommodate in our lives at some point.
     
    #9 athenian200, Jul 8, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010
  10. OP
    Gaze

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    Agree and i fully understand. We don't always have the choice to ignore or resist that "push". It's not always as simple as making our own decision. Sometimes, there are real restraints. So, we can only do our best to live within those restraints (if there's no other option) without sacrificing ourselves internal. I think counseling can also help to ease the pressure or stress of being burdened by family expectations/obligations.
     
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  11. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    What pushy family members? They are all INFJ.
     
  12. Matariki

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    Ignore them.

    I have a very pushy mother (ESFJ)
    Who pushes me to do everything, except for the things I like doing.
    I'm just glad that shes out of the house most of the time, although I do worry about the psychological effect its having on my younger siblings.
     
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  13. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I have an aunt who is pretty pushy and always asking me when I'm going to get married and have kids and other such things.. and I like to playfully horrify her with my actual thoughts and feelings about those topics until she changes the subject.
     
  14. Broken Beggar

    Broken Beggar Regular Poster

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    I tell them to get lost until they can be a little more respectful and a lot less pushy.

    There is always one of two possible outcomes - they either never talk to me again, or they get the hint and learn to be less abrasive around me. There's little justification for that kind of behaviour no matter who you are.
     
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