How do you master your passions and desires?
How do you initiate the habits you need in your life?
How do you improve upon your self awareness?
Time and life experience, for me.
I spent my youth and early adulthood as a very sensitive, impassioned person (reacting to my natural inclinations). I acted impulsively on my desires, whether positive or negative, without much thought of the consequences to myself or others. My self-awareness was limited to my own spontaneous feelings and perceived needs for the most part (rather than cause-and-effect). I was capable of empathy, but I was driven towards expression at the expense of empathy.
Because I was also quite troubled, and felt separate from society, this behavior led me to a state of
further separation, alienation of my friends and much of my family, and made it difficult for me to work and adequately take care of myself (pay rent, live in a decent area, eat well, etc.). Despite being an introvert, this is a very difficult way to live.
I began to question whether giving in to my passionate nature and "being myself" at all times and at all costs would ever lead me to the state of peace and contentment and self-worth I had begun to long for, after 25 or so years of impulse and strife. I concluded it would not, and that was the birth of my self-control.
I began to rebuild myself into the person I wanted to be, turning the passion inward toward determination and discipline, using my racing mind to examine and explore in a more functional rather than the erratic creative way which was my nature. One at a time I began to master the things that my passion had allowed to mutate into obstacles to a more peaceful life i.e. grasping at intense wants without considering my actual needs, impulsive expression of my own thoughts and beliefs regardless of who they might injure or offend, choosing to be less "exciting" and more "dependable", evading responsibility and the lies that frequently accompany such evasion. Closely examining each justification and denial.
It took about 2 years (age 25 to age 27) before this self-control became habitual and I began to see changes in all aspects of my life, and while not perfect, I found I was far more comfortable in a world without the degree of chaos and uncertainty my prior lack of self-control had created.
To sum up, I examined all the aspects of myself/my behavior that routinely brought pain, anguish and conflict into my life until I understood what it was I was doing (keeping a journal, making lists of my perceived pros and cons, asking for honest assessment from the trusted family and friends I hadn't managed to alienate) and one bad habit at a time, I doggedly reversed them.
It's an ongoing process.