Self-Care: What have you done for you lately? | Page 4 | INFJ Forum

Self-Care: What have you done for you lately?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by soulareclipse, Mar 10, 2019.

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  1. worthy

    worthy Regular Poster

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    Flower, I wanted to share with you that my username came about because a number of years back I decided I needed a frequent reminder that I am worthy. So I named myself worthy. And now whenever I log in or post on a site with that username, I have to confront my old habit of believing I am not. It's also an interesting comment from the universe, or at least my parents, that my given name means "worthy of love" AND my life journey seems to be about learning to recognize that worth.

    I have considered posting a sign in my home that only I will see (like above my bedroom door) that says WORTHY so I will have to see it and be reminded every day that I am.

    I know you are worthy. <3
     
  2. flower

    flower Wanderer

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    Aww! That's actually very clever. Yes, you're worthy! and maybe your given name is a sign from the universe to you.

    Love this story and thank you so much. :hug:
     
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  3. OP
    soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

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    Of course! :blush: Even if you can't see it right now, know that others can. I know that only helps so much because self-worth, as implied, must come from the self. Believe me, I too have ghosts of the past so I think I understand how you must be feeling. It was only in the last couple of years or so that I've gotten far enough along in my trauma recovery to find my own self-worth, -love, and -care. I won't claim to know exactly what your experience is, but I do know my own and I know that it's an extremely painful feeling.

    Something that helped me that may or may not be so for you was when a mentor prompted me to make a list of all the negative beliefs I held about myself. I remember writing things like unlovable, unattractive, damaged/broken, useless, unworthy, lacking inherent value, stupid, untalented; the list could go on and on. Once done though, she asked me if I would say any of those things to someone I love, say a friend or family member. I looked at her like she was crazy and said something along the lines of "No never!" She asked me why not and I said, "Because those are just awful, cruel things to say to anyone, let alone someone you love and care about". The response she gave me was so simple, yet so revolutionary: "Then why on earth would you say those things to yourself?" That was a huge turning point in my own realization that a lot of the ongoing victimization I was experiencing at the time was being perpetuated by me. Indeed, you're a magnificent creature no less deserving of love and care than anyone else you hold dear. When you truly believe this, you'll forgive yourself for having been so hard on you, you'll throw away the Old Tapes of Negative Self-Talk and rewrite your truth, and you'll feel your heart breathe a sigh of relief and thank you for being its friend. It's not easy, no, not by a mile. But it is possible. If I can crawl out of the hole I was in, I believe most anyone can. Only I can know how oppressive it was, but suffice it to say getting out of that loop is by far one of the most rewarding and loving things I've ever done for myself. And I wish the same for you, I really do.:<3yellow:
     
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  4. JennyDaniella

    JennyDaniella Stargazer

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    I journal everyday. I think it’s not only a part of my typical daily routine, but one of my essential self-cares. I think it’s part of what helped me get over my depression from years back, and still does when I get into a bad funk. It feels good to let everything out onto paper and just reflect and open up about certain aspects of myself that I keep private.

    Also, I always make sure to get myself a nice cupcake or gelato every Friday as a “good job” treat to pat myself on the back for getting through the week and eat the treat outside when the sun is setting.
     
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  5. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    You know life is ok when you can have a cupcake at sunset
     
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  6. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    Hubbys here for you... everything gonna be OK :hug:
     
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  7. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    @flower you are a beautiful flower I’m here for you too, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. I don’t judge anyone :hug:
     
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  8. OP
    soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

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    Right? I need to hang out with you on Friday evenings, @JennyDaniella! That sounds like an amazing way to bid the work week farewell.
     
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  9. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    Fuck... I want a cupcake so bad now! My sister makes amazing cupcakes.

    You know its good when you wear it on your face...

    E7BEA6D7-4DC6-466E-A235-7F69E0B66131.gif
     
  10. JennyDaniella

    JennyDaniella Stargazer

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    Hahaha awwww :<3::hug:

    It would be truly wonderful to have you and everyone here for Fridays! The sunset here in Arizona is really beautiful and soothing. :)
     
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  11. OP
    soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

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    That would be sweeeeeeeet! I wonder if anyone has ever tried doing like a Skype thing for forum members to have group "get-togethers". That might be cool.
     
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  12. JennyDaniella

    JennyDaniella Stargazer

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    I honestly would be down for that if the opportunity arises! :)
     
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  13. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    My accent may take you US folk some getting used to :tearsofjoy:
     
  14. JennyDaniella

    JennyDaniella Stargazer

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    Oh, you’d be perfectly fine! Us American peeps love accents, especially those from Europe in particular.

    In fact, we would probably like you to keep talking just because your accent would be very intriguing and would like to hear more of it! :D :grin:
     
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  15. OP
    soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

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    Nah...I grew up on a healthy diet of Monty Python, and Top Gear is one of my all-time fav shows (circa Jeremy Clarkson). So unless yours is just waaaaaaay out there, it should be okay. My son sounds like he has an English accent sometimes. I've actually had people ask me if he was born in England or if he spends a lot of time around someone else with the accent. I always get a chuckle when they ask me that, but the answer is no. Maybe he was an old Englishman in a past life or something. He acts like a crotchety old man sometimes and pronounces water "wuh-tah" lol!
     
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  16. OP
    soulareclipse

    soulareclipse Community Member

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    :laughing: So true. We'd probably keep saying, "I'm sorry, Jamie, can you repeat that?"
     
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  17. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    UK accents vary massively. Mines a mix of Manchester and Liverpool (scouse) because I live in a town between the two cities. “Wuh-tah” sounds like cockney (London).
     
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  18. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    I’ve just said “water” to myself about 10 times and the closest I can get In text is “war-tuh”
     
  19. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
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    I sound like Kyle Clark
     
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  20. JamieUK92

    JamieUK92 Permanent Fixture

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    I’m fact saying “war-tah” in an American accent is probably wrong you would probably have to say “wor-tah”. You pronounce war differently lol
     
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