Relationship "terms/titles"

I hate to say it, but I am anal about titles. It makes things set and known for me. When I date someone I will concider myself in a relationship with them already, and will not even concicder anyone else at that time. As such, I very quickly want to say "we are dating" because not everyone has that concept. Also the fact that the label gives me a much more secure feeling.

As most of you know, I kinda am a label fiend, heh.

 

Cookie Monster

 

LOL, though I have to agree, I think some of this terms are cute and indeed I would like for my special partner to say such titles from time to time as it makes me feel more grounded and that the relationship is more serious rather than just plain dating...

 

I personally don't feel bothered by those. Like IndigoSensor, I'm quite a label freak (sometimes to a fault). I thought that by using those / the generic terms of it, I tend to know / more able to categorize people's relation to me.

I sometimes took a definition and made my own definition / expectations tho; for example, I took 'friends with benefits' and basically my country's definition of it and differ between those two.

 

I have:
Fuckbuddies
Lovers
Girlfriends

 

And what are the differences? What does one get that another does not?

I find that it is easier to label a relationship because that makes it easier to explain. Oh so you're sleeping with him? what is he? your boyfriend? your fuck buddy? what? People are nosy and want to know. You can't just tell them that you are hanging out or getting to know each. Nope you have to declare on facebook that you are in a relationship otherwise it's not true. Didn't you know?

I don't find it necessary to label my relationships. However, if we do not discuss exclusivity I will see other people and flirt and all that nice stuff. When I am single I date around. So, if someone wants me to be exclusive they need to voice that not just assume that it is understood because it's not.

 

Only if they're mates.

Fuckbuddies get laid when we organise a mutually beneficial time to hook up.
Lovers get my romantic interest, sexual interest and exclusivity.
Girlfriends get commitment, with all the above and an approach long terming it with an interest in marriage as a possibility if we're compatible.

If a girlfriend doesn't want an interest in marriage she becomes a lover.
If a lover doesn't want exclusivity she becomes a fuckbuddy
If a fuckbuddy doesn't want sex she gets raped.

 

I don't really see much of a difference between a girlfriend and a lover and if I did I believe it would the opposite way. Lover would be higher than girlfriend because it implies emotional interest beyond infatuation and would be more likely to entertain the idea of marriage.

 

I agree with these definitions, minus the rape part, of course, because, ew. *shakes head and prays for your soul*

Anwho, I'm a stickler for labels. Clears up so much confusion. But problems occur when two people don't agree on the defined labels. People always want more than what's offered. No one ever wants to stay a fuck buddy or lover for any appreciable amount of time. It gets messy and complicated and resentful. Hmmm.

 

I don't use them too often. Not that that implies I don't take my romantic relationships seriously. When I go to functions, I introduce my strapping gentleman caller by his first name. Though he usually leans in to add, "I'm her boyfriend."

 

Mates are friends

 

mate = friend

 

I'm comfortable with the term boyfriend. However, before things get that committed, they are defined as a 'person I am seeing'.

 

Totally agree with you on that. Knowing that someone considers me their "girlfriend" or "love interest" or what have you.. it makes me feel much more secure in the relationship.

And it's kind of second nature for me to put things into categories and labels. I can't help my logical, analytical side from taking over sometimes.

 

What about "very good friend" ?

 

My favorite description of such a person is "mistake"