Relationship mess - I need help! | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Relationship mess - I need help!

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Carlotta, Dec 15, 2019.

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  1. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    My first post. Thank you my INFJ friend :sunglasses::innocent:
     
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  2. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer

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    Ok, so could you give an tldr; version on the whole situation?
     
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  3. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker

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    I don't mean to judge you, every situation is difficult and we all make mistakes, but you ought to realise how cowardly and deceitful your behaviour towards your ex was. Your entire post is basically an attempt to justify yourself in order to cope with the guilt that you still obviously feel.

    My two cents: you will not get over that guilt as long as you don't face up to the fact that what you did was morally base. We are fallible beings, but to find redemption we have to get to a stage where we stop lying to ourselves.

    He's INTJ. Hence the bluntless. ;)
     
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  4. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    Me? or @Charlotta? Me today? I just feel hollow, haha. But I don't mind.
     
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  5. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    This thread taught me the following man-lessons.

    1) Make sure your finances are in order by 30 to meet the demands of your future wife's baby-rabies.


    2) Marry and impregnate her by 30, to maximize profit, impregnate repeatedly from age 30 to menopause.

    3) As a man you're not allowed any emotional weakness, even with your future spouse. She finds your displays of weakness disgusting even if she verbally says otherwise.:cry:
     
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    #25 Pin, Jan 4, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2020
  6. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    I love this guy
     
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  7. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer

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    You, I rushed a bit through the text but I don't yet get the whole situation (currently I'm on the blunt side myself). But it doesn't have to be now.
     
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  8. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    #28 Pin, Jan 4, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2020
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  9. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    I am. I wont lie to myself anymore. Still holding on to my wife even tho I feel empty inside. Can we really live like this forever? I suppose @Charlotte also being haunted by the guilt till today.


     
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  10. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    I can write a tdlr later for my already 10 years of marriage, which deep inside my heart I want to end. I feel like living a Karma today. Thank you for all the honest opinion. I really appreciate it
     
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  11. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    @Hostarius

    This thread made me want to get a vasectomy, avoid marriage, and bang escorts.
     
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  12. Hostarius

    Hostarius L I G E T I C

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    This line of thought has ruined me before and might well ruin me again.

    It's the fear of a lot of men - that none will ever truly love us and therefore we must live alone in a most fundamental sense. I didn't even know that something like 'emotional connection' was available to me until I was probably 27/8.
     
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  13. larcipelago

    larcipelago Community Member

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    Haha. Never get married could be the best choice for a man full of charm like you my bro. But in my experience, a need for soulmate is hurting from the inside.
     
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  14. Hostarius

    Hostarius L I G E T I C

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    Lol

    Just this thread?

    My advice is not to close yourself off from love, but be as cold as Michael Corleone at the first betrayal. Be bold and trust in your own resilience.

     
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  15. Hostarius

    Hostarius L I G E T I C

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    Try loving your wife.
     
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  16. dragulagu

    dragulagu Galactic Explorer

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    @larcipelago Anyway, from what I've re-read from your post, there is a lot going on in your relationship. And honestly, this is just far too many unresolved things to delve into.
    I'd just say to go for professional relationship counciling with your wife, you have a life with her, you have your children. You have your own feelings off course, but so does she.
     
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  17. JustPhil

    Donor

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    So are you saying you don't agree with @Pin original comment? Even with an emotional connection, I think most women don't want to see emotional weakness. I was reading a book on emotional intelligence and there was an excerpt form that where a man came up to a presenter and said pretty much the same and it resonated with me. I think women in the main (there ARE always exceptions), even if they say they want a guy that can relate and be open with their feelings, still want to have a "man". It's sort of like "it's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" in respect to emotional intelligence.
     
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  18. Reason

    Reason The Evil One

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    Is your ex in therapy for any of these anxiety issues?
     
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  19. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    :m082:
     
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  20. BlackHorse

    BlackHorse Community Member

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    Yes, definitely. I think it's natural for women to want masculine men and men want feminine women. Of course there are exeptions to the rule but usually men ''have to be'' strong, they have to provide and and do all that manly shit, women on the other hand need to be a bit emotional, also more submissive etc
    That's usually how it works and what we are attracted to in opposite sex.
     
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