Platonic vs. romantic attraction | INFJ Forum

Platonic vs. romantic attraction

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by corvidae, Jan 8, 2009.

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  1. corvidae

    corvidae ohai internets
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    I have a hard time separating between the two. Maybe it's just a pansexual thing unrelated to MBTI, but some people on the Facebook INFJ say that they often become attracted to their friends.
     
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  2. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I assume you are talking about interpersonal relationships?

    You love the other emotionally in both. However when it's platonic one does not express it physically as in kissing, cuddling etc.

    When it's romantic; it is expressed through acts of love for one another.
     
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  3. OP
    corvidae

    corvidae ohai internets
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    But sometimes I *do* want to cuddle with my friends >.<

    (Although I'd probably never tell them)
     
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  4. FC3S

    FC3S Community Member

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    I think the term has been mentioned before, nature vs. nurture.
     
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  5. ZenCat

    ZenCat Waving Sage

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    I think therein lies the difference between Platonic affection, which could include wanting affection and closeness (cuddling), and Romantic, which implies sexual desire of and gratification with someone.

    The two are very clear-cut to me.
     
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  6. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    I don't think you are pansexual, meaning from what I looked up: wanting to express your love for your friends by being sexual ?

    Wanting to be cuddly with your friends could merely mean you wan't to express your affection for them through cuddles. For instance, I hug my best friend as hard as I wan't for as long as I want, whenever I want and need one, without being sexually attracted to her.

    Although with e.g. male classmates of mine, I sometimes wish to dramatically hug them and also walk up and hold their hand. - Although I don't haha.
     
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  7. NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
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    wow, everything here completely contradicts my entire understanding. IMO, the physical desires has nothing to do with platonic/romantic attraction.
    You can see a guy in the street and say "wow, he's hot!" and be physically attracted, but be neither platonicly OR romantically attracted. Platonic attraction is a relatively mild attraction to one or more (generally more) people, and is non-exclusive (you don't care if someone else is in a similar relationship that you are/want to be in with the person of your attraction). Romantic attraction is a strong attraction to one person (excluding moments of romantic confusion), and means the want want to be around the person very often, if not constantly, and is exclusive (you want to be THE ONLY person in the type of reationship that you are/want to be in with the person of your attraction). That, at least, is how my psychology text-book explained it (or, at least, as I remember it).
     
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  8. alcyone

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  9. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    You are right because Romantic could be physically or not at all as well. However platonic in itself means non-sexual. The question should be clarified if it is love or relationship that is the dependent variable? :)

    If it concerns the relationship, I would say that a platonic relationship could be any that is not sexual. Someone you love or do not...
    The romantic relationship on the other hand, to me is fixed upon love, could express it sexually. If not, then it is a platonic romantic relationship.
     
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  10. NaeturVindur

    NaeturVindur Cuddlemaster
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    just one small note, the platonic relationship is always a positive one. being mortal enemies with somebody is still a relationship with that person, but it is most certainly NOT platonic.
     
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  11. moonbabyam

    moonbabyam Regular Poster

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    Platonic relations are TRICKY. One person might consider them romantic another simply platonic.
    I like it cut and dry. Hello Hugs, Thank You Hugs, Goodbye Hugs. Acceptable. Depending on time, hand placement, hair smelling et etc etc. I guess I am really just jealous. I tend to not like it when girls get touchy with my beau or guys try to be feely when they know I am taken. I think its best to avoid drama and steer away from behavior's that can lend to other individuals getting confused or hurt.
    I do think I've had to lighten up on that though because I became emersed in colombian community and everyone kisses everyone, I was NOT AT all comfortable with that. Especially because colombian women are so beautiful, it is hard not to think a chick kissing your beau might win him over.
    But alas, "its just platonic", "cultural", or a "thing they do".
    Im so not used to that, and can honestly say not comfortable with it. I do think it might be something to work on due to my own insecurities.
    Thus, why I say....platonic relations are tricky, and why I like to always be very clear on my expectations about unnecessary petting or affection.
    Oh...I think if you are used to people f-ing you over then it probably heightens this that I am refering to...jealousy/romantic/platonic relations.
    Paranoia strikes deep and its easy to think some peoples actions are more invading than the really are.
    :m107:
     
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  12. IndigoSensor

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    Figuring out my attractions to people is still largely a work in progress.

    I am starting to notice, that the people who I am most attracted to physically, are people who I actually want to BE (as far as apperance goes). Getting in a relationship with one would be a strange expereince for me because I am not sure how it would go over. I would imagine I woulld start to harbor a very large ammount of personal jelosy upon myself, which could lead to behaviors I don't think I would be proud of. It could also push me into limitless passion and emotional upset.

    It is a strange situation, that I so despratly want, yet am so fearful of.
     
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  13. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    When it comes to whome I'm attracted to I would put it the way you do.
    As I am drawn to the ones who fascinate me, sometimes in ways I don't seem to incorporate, I would probably end up feeling worthless and envious as well.
    To be torn between those two courses of action is never fun because you don't know what lays behind them. I'd like to think that finding the strength to decide on to either do or don't - and settle will lead to vigour, positive growth. Because similar courses will keep coming up if you escape from making a decision on them. However it is easier said than done..

    :)
     
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  14. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I've heard that INFJs do get attracted to those in their pool of friends. Similarly ENTPs don't care who is in their pool of friends, we'll date anyone.

    :)

    Another good argument for ENTP & INFJ Romantic Relationships, brought to you by shai gar.
     
  15. FC3S

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    Don't do it, it's a trap!
     
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  16. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Hmm firstly if you mean you will date anyone because you have a Hidden Agenda, then it is very forsakenly sad as LOVE should not be abused!
    On the contrary if you mean you will date anyone in the sense that if they are fascinating and don't need to look like a beautyqueen, then it is VERY admirable and chivalrous.

    And If the latter is a trap, then be it because it is the type of trap I wish to get cought in. ^^
     
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    #16 Pristinegirl, Jan 9, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2009
  17. ZenCat

    ZenCat Waving Sage

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    [youtube]vILh13usJ5k[/youtube]
     
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  18. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    Hee. TRAAAAP! :m035:
     
  19. FC3S

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    Just when I think I have INFJs figured out, this comes along. This calls for drastic measures. I need an INFJ that will volunteer to be ripped out of their shell by yours truly ^^
     
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  20. ZenCat

    ZenCat Waving Sage

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    What does this mean? I don't understand.
     
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    #20 ZenCat, Jan 9, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2009
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