People... I just don't understand them.

darkstar

darkstar

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
So I just don't get people. They confuse me. They say they want to hang out, then they stop talking.

Where is the "owners manual" (please don't turn this into a slavery thread :P) for people?

What are your strategies as INFJs for dealing with people?
 
I am actually very very good at reading people. People think I am bad at it, but it is more that I don't vocalize what I observe, and don't always act acordingly for various reasons.

Some people are just phony in that respect. They might just be being friendly and saying they want to hang out in person, but in reality just don't want to. It is kind of mean for people to do that, but I know quite a few people like that.
 
I would not worry about it too much. Sometimes people want to hang out with people, but have lives that are just too busy. Realizing this they know they sorta don't have room for everyone, but are sometimes they are embarased that they said they wanted to hang out. Not that I am like that. Sorry to say there is no manual.
 
"I really like that song." me

"I like the whole CD." other

Those usually bloom into good conversations with my infj mode of thinking.

We are all sharing and comparing our feelings about things a lot here. Love it when conversations blend that easily.

Friend, "I find comparing people quite easy."

Just me, "Compare Condi Rice to Hillary Clinton."

end of conversation. Should have said, "I like comparing people, too."

Sometimes I can't help myself.
 
What is to figure out? Everyones the same.
 
darkstar said:
So I just don't get people. They confuse me. They say they want to hang out, then they stop talking.

Where is the "owners manual" (please don't turn this into a slavery thread :P) for people?

What are your strategies as INFJs for dealing with people?
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1) People will make time for you if you're a priority to them. I STRONGLY believe this. 'Busy' is just code for I have more important things to do. Now you can truly be busy, but you must make an honest effort to be available in the future.

2)'Lets hang out sometime' is something people say and then typically don't follow through on.

3) Unfortunately I typically think people will fail me, but the people that follow through on their words, I honor above all others.

4) A friendship is a two-way street. If you have to initiate everything, I'm not sure you have a friend.
 
darkstar said:
Where is the "owners manual" (please don't turn this into a slavery thread :P) for people?
Click to expand...

Human being (Homo sapien)

This animal of the primate family has several basic needs similar to that of most animals. They need food, drink, shelter, etc. Not meeting these basic needs is bound to make the human irritable. In addition to that, humans are highly sensitive to stress and anxiety because they evolved from an environment in which those things helped them remain secure and safe. Since humans are social animals, they all need to feel they are liked and appreciated by the other humans around them. The human will temporarily put off this need if they are feeling irritable or stressed.
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How was that?

The only strategy you need with people is to realize they are people. They have their own needs, values, issues, circumstances, etc. but at the core we are all the same. We are imperfect, we make mistakes, and we are all learning as we go.
 
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IndigoSensor said:
I am actually very very good at reading people. People think I am bad at it, but it is more that I don't vocalize what I observe, and don't always act acordingly for various reasons.

Some people are just phony in that respect. They might just be being friendly and saying they want to hang out in person, but in reality just don't want to. It is kind of mean for people to do that, but I know quite a few people like that.
Click to expand...


I also feel like I can read people very well. It's to a certain point where I feel like I have to withdraw myself from some (even when they do something very subtle but telling of another side of their personality). That's why people continue to annoy me because of their complexities and how crazy they make me feel. Being a strong intuitive is both a blessing and a hardship i've got to say...You can choose the people you love wisely, but are always on the guard, which gets tiresome...
 
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