Wow! This is a subject so close to my heart. I've worked with a psyche doctor now for over 3 years and have totally dedicated my life for that period of time to releasing,releasing~releasing so much crap. I consider myself fairly tough but these sessions have really put me to the sword.I have cried often 4 or 5 times a day,had fevers,(one 8 hr uncontrollable one),and have felt crap for the vast majority of that time. Always releasing,Always.To some degree or other...bands of head-tension,anxiety etc... Its honestly been like living in the gutter of myself.Not knowing myself lots of the time.Not having myself but still this urge,this desire to rid this crap from my system.
I'm almost ashamed to say it ,but I can see how I was a troubled soul to a certain degree and its quite evident in my siblings and its probably becoming my belief that troubled souls do incarnate together.
However on the positive side,I think I've earned my own respect to a varying(!) degree for being loyal enough to stand by myself in a very dark hour of my eternalness. Only lately ,I've had a reading done with somebody else and my guides recommended that I look at shamanic healing because ,its a higher vibration of what I've been doing.
Also ,despite still releasing a lot ,nowadays I have a quiet peace in my heart and I do feel I love myself(to varying degree's) and on occasions I connect to this feeling within that is SO INNOCENT/PURE,SO PRECIOUS,SO,SO,SO...no words to describe it and in that moment I would'nt swap it for A N Y T H I N G. I'm going to explore shamanic healing and my goal is to take it further and live that feeling more and more.Thats all I want nowadays.That and to live closer to nature (and to have a horse and two vegetarian dogs! lol..)