Wanna bet? Sometimes life happens, and you're caught up on one track - career, family obligations, etc. and so you don't make time for yourself. It is possible and far more common than people are allowed to admit.
Paging Dr. Stork
- Thread starter Faye
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Wanna bet? Sometimes life happens, and you're caught up on one track - career, family obligations, etc. and so you don't make time for yourself. It is possible and far more common than people are allowed to admit.
And you know whats funny is that she was promising all the sex before she found out she could not have kids. She was dishonest with her intentions. And figured she would get knocked up and he would accept it. Just as he did with his last wife. She was wrong. He was in his forties and was done. She has to be asexual. What sucks is that he likes sex. I have known him for over 15 years. I have been single with him. He has had better women. He has been a doormat in his marriage. Our friendship has suffered because of his marriage. I don't like her and I don't like to even be around her. Because I know how she is and I don't like it.
Being a virgin at 35 does happen even if you LIKE and WANT sex and don't get too busy...
But only if you've been indoctrinated against it and probably are a woman. (because sexual 'sins' are seen as a mistake for a man and a character flaw for a woman).
My high school art teacher is over 40, (I know she has a libido), but I'm pretty sure she's still a virgin, as we are still very close. OMG... I just realized she could be INFJ... (getting excited)...
If you want sex you can find it. It is especially easy now that the internet has arrived. I don't believe there is anyone so busy that they couldn't make time over the course of at least 15 years to look for someone to have sex with.
I'll agree that you may not be able to find sex within the context of a loving relationship by the age of 35 and so you may abstain because of that fact, but that abstinence is a decision. Not making time for yourself is a decision, and in my experience with individuals I know, it is an excuse or attempt to avoid dealing with difficult to manage festering neuroses. All these 'stay busy' people still managed to lose their virginity at some point.
If you're a virgin at 35, you're either not interested in sex, afraid of sex, or terribly unattractive or disfigured. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being a virgin at 35, but I do believe that the idea that "Oh I want sex- I just never had time for it" is an excuse to cover for some other issue, probably fear. This fear is understandable in a lot of cases though, particularly from women who come from certain eras in certain places.
When I said it "doesn't just happen", this is exactly what I meant. I know it does happen, but it happens for reasons such as this.
She is a seventh day adventist and so is he. And she was over weight for most of her life. She lost the weight after the marriage. Now I think she looks worse. She was one of those women that looks better with weight on not off. She is way too thin now. I remember when they got married I waited two weeks before I came by his house. After I stopped by to say hi she got all mad at me because I should have not come to see my friend they were just married and I should respect that. I took that as "he has me know back off" so I did. The other night she invited me over for a hamburger "they are vegetarians" I declined even now I just don't trust her motives. She seems too fake and contrived too me. I just try to hang with him and leave her out of the picture.
My wife Brenda and I intentionally waited 10 years before deciding to have a baby, and it worked out great for us. We wanted to get to know each other well and be more financially stable. Our physical relationship has always been good, even after Patrick was born, so that wasn't a problem for us. If there isn't anything other than lust in your relationship for when things cool down, there's big trouble ahead. Get married for the right reasons and everything will work out fine.
Get married when you really, really love each other and can't stand being apart. When I fell in love with my intended, it was almost like a physical pain (and I have a relatively high pain threshold). I said to myself, "who needs this?" But, I was already smitten, so it was too late, and we've been happy together for almost 35 years. When either of us has to travel on business, we still hate being apart.
If you don't want kids, do yourselves and the world a favor, don't have them. Babies are extremely demanding, frustrating, and difficult. They separate the boys and girls from the men and women. For the first couple of months they are just GI tracts with sirens on top. How you feel and what you want for yourselves is irrelevant. Your kids come first. They are an incredible responsibility and expense.
And yet, having children can be the most gratifying and wonderful thing you and your partner ever do in life.
If you don't want kids, do yourselves and the world a favor, don't have them. Babies are extremely demanding, frustrating, and difficult. They separate the boys and girls from the men and women. For the first couple of months they are just GI tracts with sirens on top. How you feel and what you want for yourselves is irrelevant. Your kids come first. They are an incredible responsibility and expense.
And yet, having children can be the most gratifying and wonderful thing you and your partner ever do in life.