Online vs. Real World Friends | INFJ Forum

Online vs. Real World Friends

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Questingpoet, Jan 2, 2010.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 6 users.
More threads by Questingpoet
  1. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2009
    Threads:
    222
    Messages:
    5,733
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    941
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I had an interesting convo with Restraint yesterday, and this topic came up. Let's discuss online vs real friends.

    How many do you have of each?

    What are the differences?

    Can online friends be as important as friends in the real world?

    Post any thoughts you have on the subject.........
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  2. Raccoon Love

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2009
    Threads:
    310
    Messages:
    5,413
    Likes Received:
    703
    Trophy Points:
    657
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFP
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    0 Friends on the real world, the INFJ forum online.

    Well I would not really be able to tell the differences, but I value you guys as much as if I knew you in real life, you guys have truly been awesome to me more than any friend I could possible know and even though I don't physically know you, your compassion and understanding really transfers.

    Yes they can, at least in my case, as I stated I value you guys as my real friends and I enjoy it when your happy and I feel sad when your not.

    Looks like a loner like me has finally found his place :)
     
  3. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I don't consider online friends as real friends until I have met them in real life. It is not that I believe you can't have amasing interactions with other people online or that I don't care about these people or value the interactions. But it is a bit surreal for me to see it as the same as real friends.

    I have a question for you. If this is off topic to you, just ignore it!

    How sure can you ever be that what an online friend tells you is real?
    I just had a terrible experience (see blog) where I had a good interaction with someone online and I thought I knew his first name but now it appears to be fake. It was like a knife going in my chest. I made the assumption that the name he gave me was real so I gave him mine and now it appears fake. So how the hell can I know that all the rest he told me was real? How can I know who the hell that man is that I'm talking to online? How can we ever trust that the other person is sincere? I know that you have a facebook account but how sure can I be that your name there is real? So than a second question, is it ever designated to reveal your true identity online?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. OP
    Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2009
    Threads:
    222
    Messages:
    5,733
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    941
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    Your last question, do you mean is it ever WISE to reveal your identity online?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    what?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2008
    Threads:
    66
    Messages:
    1,768
    Likes Received:
    323
    Trophy Points:
    627
    MBTI:
    Questioning?
    Enneagram:
    5w6
    I feel the same way as Morgain but I have one friend in particular that I made when I was 12 ish when I had just started the internet that I would consider a real friend. He's been there for a really, really, long time and all that so it's only fair.
     
  7. OP
    Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2009
    Threads:
    222
    Messages:
    5,733
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    941
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    By Morgain: "is it ever designated to reveal your true identity online?"

    the word designated does not make sense here. I think what you are asking is, "is it a smart thing to ever reveal your true identity online?"

    Is this a correct statement on my part?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. Faye

    Faye ^_^
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2009
    Threads:
    311
    Messages:
    7,277
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    4,610
    Trophy Points:
    892
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Gridania
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    I don't know how many friends I have either online or in real life. It depends on how you define friend. What constitutes a "friend"?
     
  9. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,381
    Messages:
    28,273
    Featured Threads:
    94
    Likes Received:
    22,794
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    The word "friend" is a tricky term. And it means many things to different people. For some, a friend is something to simply hang with, talk with regularly, etc. and for others, it's someone who is there as a continued support system, trustworthy, and loyal.

    I guess anything is possible.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #9 Gaze, Jan 2, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2010
  10. OP
    Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2009
    Threads:
    222
    Messages:
    5,733
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    941
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5

    I think that's something you have to answer yourself. My definition is someone who you can confide in, who understands you on some level, and who you have some type of basic connection with.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Threads:
    114
    Messages:
    2,721
    Likes Received:
    467
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ again
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    yes that was my question
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,381
    Messages:
    28,273
    Featured Threads:
    94
    Likes Received:
    22,794
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    There are a lot of wonderful people online, but I think the word "friend" is used too liberally tbh. I think the word "buddy" for online acquaintances is a better term. Or some other term, but not friend.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  13. Lyshira

    Lyshira Three

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2009
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    560
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Reality

    I am new to this community or any other community so I am unable to comment with any knowledge about internet friends, but I can comment about real friends. The truth is that you can never really know anyone. Real friends can be as big an illusion as anyone on line.

    I have trouble differentiating between friends and acquaintances. I have acquaintances that I've known for many years, that I would not trust with any of the secrets of my life. I think that the internet can breed a sense of closeness because I can share things about myself, here on line that I would never say to an acquaintance. Does this make you less real?

    I have friends that I barely see that know a lot about me. Many of my closest friends are the ones that have survived in spite of major fights and philosophical disagreements.
     
  14. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Threads:
    61
    Messages:
    1,904
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    5,027
    Trophy Points:
    1,072
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5- 469
    I've had wonderful connection in my life with both people in person and online.

    Online relationships have only been something I have engaged with in the last 5 years or so, but if I calibrate for those differences of time, I think there is little difference in the real life vs. online number of people I have opened my soul to and have received the vulnerabilities of in return.

    I think there are differences with online friends and real life friends. I find it far easier to find people online who share my perspectives and interests. I generally find I have to work less to find common ground with people online. Perhaps this is because I meet them in online places where there is already shared interest. In many cases, I find it is easier to share deeply with friends online. This is perhaps because there is that common ground to start from, but perhaps it is also because of the unknown space surrounding an online friend. I wonder if there is a temptation to mentally create fantasy friends around the limited template of what a person can present in the internet medium.

    I think online friends can be as important as friends in real life, but I do personally think it has been healthiest when those two worlds were brought closer together through phone calls and in-person meetings.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  15. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    766
    Likes Received:
    59
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    ENFJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1
    How many do you have of each?
    > I have 1 online best friend and probably more than 6 online friends.
    > A number of real life friends, with 8 best friends.

    What are the differences?

    > Well, I don't really see a lot of differences aside from the fact that the one set is real life and the other is online.

    Can online friends be as important as friends in the real world?

    > Definitely yes. I have an online best friend and we've been wonderful friends for 2 years. We may not see each other, but we know each other well and we've been through a lot of emotional moments together. It took a while for us to get here; we had to cross a certain level of trust where we can tell each other anything without any judgment but now we got to where we are, I honestly couldn't have a better online best friend than her. I love her to death. <3
    However, I understand that some of us may have trust issues concerning online friendships, and I completely understand. However, online friendship do take a while, and in order for it to succeed, it takes two people to trust each other completely as if it were a real life friendship. It wouldn't work out otherwise.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Gaze likes this.
  16. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2009
    Threads:
    57
    Messages:
    1,915
    Likes Received:
    229
    Trophy Points:
    622
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    There are a lot of people on there that I consider 'online friends'. but none of them have gotten past the layer of me as an INFJ - that's all anyone here gets to see. How could anyone really get to know me online? There's so much about me you don't know and can't see, watch, observe...

    There are too many limitations in simply posting in threads back and forth to truly get to know anyone. I find it hard to believe anyone could progress beyond 'buddy' status with me - I don't mean that pridefully.. honestly, I'd like to be REAL friends with a several of you - I just don't think it could actually come to fruition.

    IRL friends don't have it easy though. they are very, very few they and go well beyond the scope of 'we hang out'. if hanging out and chatting is what makes a friend, then I have about 100 friends.

    No. i MIGHT have 5 friends.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  17. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
    Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Threads:
    280
    Messages:
    10,016
    Likes Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    755
    MBTI:
    INF
    Enneagram:
    messed up
    How many do you have of each?

    errrr...I have 1 very real very close friend...other than that I have a shit ton of acquaintances...
    Online...Id say I have 4 very good friends...and very close connections with a shit ton more...


    What are the differences?
    uh....not much for me...other than the distance and face to face talky stuff...

    Can online friends be as important as friends in the real world?
    yes I think they can
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  18. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2009
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    910
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    ?
    What did you mean by this? Do you mean idealize someone you've met or trying to believe in something more than what is actually being shown to you, almost in a delusional way

    I usually think of fantasy friends as something to make from scratch.
     
    #18 Top cat, Jan 2, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2010
  19. acd

    acd Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Threads:
    143
    Messages:
    15,120
    Featured Threads:
    11
    Likes Received:
    33,388
    Trophy Points:
    1,377
    MBTI:
    infp
    Enneagram:
    9w8 sp/sx
    I think online friends can be just as important. If the purpose of having a friend is to receive and provide mutual encouragement and support.. and to share interests and jokes.. then it's possible online. The computer is just a different medium.
     
    bamf likes this.
  20. soulseeker

    soulseeker Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2008
    Threads:
    77
    Messages:
    1,112
    Likes Received:
    109
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    :) i like friends :) hihihi
    honestly, i would prefer real life friends....because its easier to know and observe who they really are than online friends... a lot of honesty and trust is required..

    theres just something missing with an online friend...they seem so distant...and its really hard

    but...it also depends on who your online friend is...:) :)
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page