Online love | INFJ Forum

Online love

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Orion, Jan 4, 2010.

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  1. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    What do you think? Can you love someone online?

    How do you tell the difference between love and infatuation?
     
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    #1 Orion, Jan 4, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  2. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    Its happened for me.
    Posted via Mobile Device
     
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  3. Whitefire89

    Whitefire89 Community Member

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    Yes.

    In fact i want to say Of course.

    Just because alot of people lie online doesnt mean their not..human?

    Maybe you love who they say they are or maybe you just simply love them?

    Maybe you have that bond.

    So i say yes.

    And although i say this without ever being IN love, I know because i have loved someone so strongly...i did not know it was love until they were takin from me.

    So i say again...Yes. I believe it is possible :)
     
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  4. tovlo

    tovlo Well-known member

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    I met my current love online.

    I admired them and was attracted to them enough to pursue relationship based on our online communications, but love only developed after the relationship moved into the real life realm.
     
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  5. Whitefire89

    Whitefire89 Community Member

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    And What do you think?
     
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  6. OP
    Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    It seems illogical.

    But it feels right.
     
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  7. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    Most. Definitely.
     
  8. Roger

    Roger ...

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    It is very risky to love someone online because they may lie. If you meet someone personally, you can know many thing than internet. You can know personality, their body language, what they are , what they want to say, etc. many things.
     
  9. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Are we talking about romantic love or loving-kindness?
     
  10. Roger

    Roger ...

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    I guess, about both.
     
  11. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I don't think that romantic love via the internet is possible. You have to see the person and be around them.
     
  12. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    I couldn't develop romantic feelings for someone online, until I met them in person (and preferably a number of times). I could become infatuated possibly with a persona someone gives off, but I wouldn't consider that love. I'd have to spend time with the person to know it's the real deal (the relationship, and the person).

    I do however care about many of the people I meet online, and love them in such a way.
     
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  13. Gaze

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    I guess it would not be fair to say it can't happen. It may genuinely happen for some but not work for others. It depends on the persons and the relationship, the level of honesty and trust. I think if you combine online with email, phone, texting, and eventually face to face communication, then i think you can develop it better.

    Yes, there's always the sense that people hide who they are online, or are not completely honest. But as someone else on the forum said, even if you met someone face to face and got to know them, they can still deceive you. I've learned from my experiences with forums such as this, that you can get to know someone's personality fairly well online, but that's just one facet of who they are. We tend to relate to people differently in person.
     
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    #13 Gaze, Jan 4, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  14. Roger

    Roger ...

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    You come to know someone face to face, even you can stop going to that person, when you feel they are not nice. Personal meeting is enough i think, this might be wrong. We should look for more things of life because life had various things.

    I agree, people are hiding their online status. Nice people do this sometimes.
     
  15. Feelings

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    Sometimes I get strong reads on people. Sometimes I'm not sure. I can generally tell when someone is BS'ing me.

    I found strong romantic spark 2x on-line. Weak romantic spark maybe once a month. Weak spark means that it's not really a "perfect" match but it's not bad, and I would go with it if there was sufficient rapport and shared experiences. But there's the distance issue, and sometimes they're already in a relationship and I suppose I was never so inclined to really go after weak connections because I want a strong one.

    I have a lot of confidence in my Ni reads. There's 1 person who I talked to on the crisis lines that I have a medium-strength read on, who I think is the kind of INFj I'm looking for, who lives in my city, and who is around my age. But that's really just a fun fact, because I would never be unethical and pursue anything like that. 100% professional. Ok maybe 95%, sometimes if they ask me if I'm an animal lover I'll say yes, or something frivolous like that. We're technically not supposed to disclose any personal information about ourselves at all :)
     
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    #15 Feelings, Jan 4, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  16. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

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    ^^ I think MF, NAI, and I may ALL be the same person despite the gender and distance difference... :D
     
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  17. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I would say no, I think you can get close but for love to be real you have to see one and other in person. Being online vs in person robs you of 1 vital thing, physical chemistry and interactive physical chemistry.
     
  18. OP
    Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Let's say, for arguments sake, that you were being completely honest with each other and that through your communication (messages, chat, pictures), you both get a vivid view into each other's lives and personality.

    For those who said no, do you still think it's not possible?
     
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  19. Slayerwolf

    Slayerwolf Newbie

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    Last year I started talking to a Russian girl, very beautiful, she looked like Scarlet Johansen with black hair, and tall, 5'10" to my 5'11" we would've been eye to eye mostly. This was through a regular dating site, I wasn't trying to seek out a Russian bride.After about 6 weeks or so, she wanted to fly to me, even paying for it out of her own pocket.

    Russians still see the U.S. as a land of opportunity, though I wonder if she was wanting me, or just U.S. citizenship. I will never know as I wished her well and brushed her off, wondering whether or not was she sincere kept me from dwelling on her pain from me telling her no.

    When a foreigner comes to the U.S. , you have 90 days to decide whether or not to marry them, if not...they go back.If you marry them...they have to stay married to you for 2 years before they gain full citizenship.

    This girl ,Alena, said she liked me, her English wasn't that good, but everything about her was just too good to be true. She had submissive written all over her, asking me questions like "do you approve of this?", "Are these type clothes ok?", ect.

    I've read that Russian women are subservient to men, and also believe in children and a strong family bond,as it is in their culture and very different than American women being pushed for equality and empowerment.

    Alena told me she wanted kids, at least 2 ! and right away also.She may have been genuine in her desire of me, I'll never know as I sunk that ship fast like. All I kept thinking about is "I have 90 days to decide if I want to marry her" , and if I say yes, it will either be a dream come true or an expensive nightmare. As far as looks go, Scarlet Johansen with black hair , and a sexy Russian accent, meow-kitty ! it doesn't get much better than that.She also had a 4 year degree in business finance and worked in a bank, so she had intelligence as well as beauty.

    I really have no regrets, I don't like to make snap judgments or have pressured deadlines to follow. As far as finding love online, yeah, it happens. Its easy to break ice online also.
     
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  20. yumiii

    yumiii Community Member

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    Well, even though I strongly believe (romantic-love wise) it's not possible, it would be hypocritical of me to say that there isn't a tiny percentage in me that does believe that it's possible.

    However, it does--as people here have already stated--take a lot of trust and communication to reach that love, so to speak. Nonetheless, there is still a huge difference (not to mention advantage) if a relationship develops in real life.

    I've had my share of online relationships, and it was great but I just couldn't say I loved them back. It was difficult especially since I apparently have serious trust issues. It just made me feel extremely guilty when they say the words 'I love you' and I couldn't say 'I love you too', and instead I would just utter a tentative 'Same here' or 'Back at you.' It sounds heartless, but as an idealist, I already have an idea of what I think love is and how it should be, and saying it online...well, I'd have to reiterate your question as to whether this is truly love or just infatuation.

    __Infatuation is a temporary madness that easily subsides into a casual spark. Love is a madness that stays with you till the end.

    This is how I try to differentiate, but really, it's easier said than done most times.
     
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